Judy's Op-Ed Page

Happy Birthday to Toby - Our $40,000 Basset Hound

2011-12-05T12:47:00.000-08:00

Toby Welcome Sign created by Phyllis Levine

Happy 10th Birthday to Toby! Tobias Wang Helfand was born December 5, 2001. Toby is a full bred Basset Hound. His parents' names were Sir Studley Dudley II and Lady Daisy May XIV. He was the first born in a litter of eight, records indicate his nickname was TOPS and the litter was chronicled by the attending vet of being all male pups. Here is a very quick overview of how we came to buy Toby.

Let me go on record right now. I take full responsibility for finding the classified advertisement in the local Irvine/Newport Beach paper. The ad nicely described Basset Hound pups for sale $400. Ever since I was a little girl and became aware of Hush Puppies shoes I have wanted a Basset Hound. I showed the ad to Daniel, our youngest son, who was at the time a high school senior. Daniel signed on immediately to the idea...remarking to his father: "Don't worry, I will walk the puppy. This dog is going to be a chick magnet!" And so, on January 28, 2002, Dennis and Daniel made the short drive to Mission Viejo, CA, and eagerly paid $400 cash for a pure bred Basset Hound.

"Tobias Wang Helfand"

Ten years really does help you put things in perspective. Looking back I now know I should have been suspect when the Bill of Sale said: "The basset hound puppy is not returnable at any time. The buyer accepts all responsibility for the basset hound puppy on 01/28/2002. Once the basset hound puppy is removed from the Seller's residence the Seller accepts no further responsibility." My radar should have started buzzing when we took Toby to the vet for the first time. This was to be a quick check-up, but it started with the very nice vet questioning whether or not Dennis and I were aware that "basset hounds are not the sharpest tool in the shed?" Whew...this has been an interesting 10 years and the financial toll really is right about $40,000.

Most of the $40,000+ is due to vet bills (Toby gets fatty cysts that need to be removed when they explode or get infected) and home repairs (Toby really is not the sharpest tool or the brightest bulb---real housebreaking did not occur until we brought him to Tucson where we have a fenced yard, and then even now he still has accidents on the saltillo tile).

Here is a run down:

$13,075 Veterinary bills
$22,317 Home repairs, new flooring and decking
$ 2,000 Boarding
$ 2,400 Food
$ 500 Judy's out-of-pocket medical expenses for permanent hand injury
$40,292 TOTAL

I don't want to give you the wrong impression. I like Toby. Who am I kidding? I love Toby. He takes great photos and often serves as the headliner for holiday letters. But every time someone tells me they want to get a dog, I caution them to think about the real expense, not just the emotional attachment and companionship. I jokingly remind them that if it weren't for Toby I might only need to vacuum twice per month! By the way, that $40,000 figure does not include any furniture damage, leashes, harnesses (he used to chew through them) or prescriptions (only Toby would acquire Valley Fever two months after moving to Tucson).

So here's to Toby. Happy Birthday to Toby.

"Should I expect party favors and cake?"

"Ears which sweep away the morning dew."

Your thoughts?

Midnight Train to Los Angeles

2011-11-09T15:46:00.000-08:00

This year AMTRAK turned 40! So when I realized that I would be able to attend Blog World Expo 2011 in downtown Los Angeles, I decided to travel by train from Tucson, AZ to Los Angeles Union Station. Round trip ticket (1000 miles) for a reserved coach class seat (which totally reclines like a La-z-Boy), sans meals, was $70.

Leaving Tucson

Have you ever traveled a long distance by AMTRAK? I have. Every trip is slightly different. This trip I was traveling solo, so I didn't have children to wrangle or a mother-in-law to assist or a husband to convince that he should not opt to disembark from the train three states early! It was just me and a few hundred other travelers who were taking the Sunset Limited / Texas Eagle from Tucson to Los Angeles. The train was to leave Tucson at 10:30PM, but on November 3, 2011, it really was the midnight train to Los Angeles!

Palm Springs Wind Farm

Los Angeles Union Station

Birthday Memories Are Sometimes Blurry

2011-10-05T06:38:00.000-07:00

Blowing out 40 candles with my 5 year old

Most birthdays are a blur. Don't you agree? I mean really, it starts right from birth. A blur, am I right? You might have access to a really detailed birth certificate that indicates who else was present on your glorious day, but you certainly don't remember a thing about your birth day. Depending on your life's circumstances maybe only your mother remembers your birth. My father was overseas at the time of my birth, so it was just my Mom and I think my father's Aunt Mag. Of course, my two older sisters were at home waiting for me, but even at ages 5 1/2 and 2 1/2, I hardly think they remember the day of my birth with any clarity.

I started thinking about this phenomenon after my TIME Magazine arrived last Friday. The cover story is Why Mom Liked You Best - The Science of Favoritism by Jeffrey Kluger. It is a good read, you will probably recognize yourself somewhere in it. I suspect all parents have a favorite. Sometimes it is just a little look, the color of the little one's hair, the shape of their hands...it just happens. And that's life.

What occurred to me though is that there are very few actual celebrations of my birthday that I recall. Maybe this has to do with being the third of four children; I was the youngest girl of three, with a younger brother to boot. Maybe it has to do with my parents not being able to afford memorable birthday parties. I survived. That's what counts right? Point of fact: I actually remember eight celebrations. I can't locate a photo for each, but I thought you might get a kick out of the photos I did locate.

CLICK ON THE PHOTOS THEY WILL ENLARGE.

My oldest sister, Joann, with me. I am in her babydoll stroller. This is the earliest photo of me. Circa 1950

Guessing this is my 2nd Birthday 1951.

5th Birthday celebrated as a guest on The Johnny Downs Show

9th Birthday celebrated with Joann Eagen, Agnes Eagen, Michael Eagen, Nancy Tschiderer, Gloria Gurney, Marlene Sieger, Lucille Iavelli, et al. Can you find me?

15th Birthday Celebration Back Row L-R: Mary Brockley, Adele Shaules, Cathy Callagy, Judy Eagen. Front Row L-R: Mary Dell Miller, Judy Devlin, Gale Huguenard, Maribeth Lewer and Michelle Walsh

A very blurry 40th Birthday. L-R Judy Helfand, Debbie Fischbein, Dennis Helfand, unknown, and Dan Fischbein

54th Birthday Celebration: Enjoying a gift from "The Girls".

I would like to add that the following birthdays will always stay with me:

When I turned four my family had just returned from living on Fort Campbell, KY. I received a boy baby doll for my birthday. I named him Michael. I think I chose that name because I had just spent some time with my Uncle Mike and Cousin Mike. I loved that doll. I had him for so long my Mom would take him to the Doll Hospital (yes, there is/was such a thing) to get a whole new body!
When I turned 34 my husband, Dennis, asked me what was on my Birthday Wish List. I told him I needed a wallet. He asked me to tell him what brand. Jokingly, five months pregnant with our second baby, I said "Gucci!" So off he went to Nordstrom's. He picked out a beautiful wallet, but found himself speechless when the saleslady said: "That will be $298!" I used that wallet until 2004!
When I turned 40 we were living in New Hampshire and Dennis gave me a surprise party. It was a great party with a cockeyed photographer, as you can see from the photos above. All of my friends pitched in and bought me a $300 gift certificate to The Balsams Grand Resort Hotel. Everybody knows the Balsams - it is "First in the Nation" location to report its results of the Presidential election. We used the Gift Certificate to celebrate Dennis' 50th Birthday!
When I turned 50 my friends (The Girls) at Mercury decorated my office. It was so much fun. I left the decorations up for six months. Every time the company President would stop by my office to ask about a project he would step back and say: "Is today your birthday?"
When I turned 61 I celebrated with Dennis, Daniel, Aaron, Alli, and Alli's mom, Kathy Gubanich. We were four days away from Aaron and Alli's Wedding Celebration. We had a great night.

Well, for all my talk about blurry memories, I managed to ramble on for quite a while. Today is my birthday. Dennis and I are going out for dinner and I am going to have someone take a photo. I hope it won't be blurry.

Tell me, what is your favorite birthday celebration memory?

Jacob Meisler September 22, 1891 - March 23, 1989

2011-09-22T06:18:00.000-07:00

L-R Max Meisler, Jacob Meisler w/ two friends

120 years ago today, September 22, 1891, Jacob Meisler was born. Jacob Meisler is my husband's maternal grandfather and our sons' great grandfather. In celebration of Jacob Meisler's (Papa, Grandpa, Jake, Poppy, Uncle Jack) birth I am going to fulfill a request made to me in 1993.

The Backstory...

On June 8, 1993, Bertha Meisler Helfand (my mother-in-law) sent me the following request:

"I've been lax about having this "poem" printed like the one's you had made so I'm passing the job on to you.

I know that you're getting busy now - and since I've waited all these year to have it 'permanent-ized' - please take as long as necessary to have it done. You can make up 4 copies - keep one for yourselves & send me the bill."

Here is the poem Bertha (Birdie, Bertie, Mom, Grandma from the Bronx, Aunt Bert) is referring to; she wrote it for her father in honor of his 90th birthday, September 22, 1981.

A TOAST TO PAPA

Congratulations & best wishes in your 90th year,
We're here to toast you loud and clear.
You're a man of integrity, dignity and pride,
You're refined and charming when we look inside.
With your taste in clothes you should be in "Who's Who,"
Bill Blass and Givenchy could learn from you.
You're King of the Cha Cha in Miami Beach,
Arthur Murray & Fred Astaire you could surely teach.
Your jokes are funny and make us roar,
Even tho we have heard them before.
So - enjoy your birthday - have health aplenty,
We want to celebrate with you until you are
120!

So, I needed 18 years...

I always listen to my mother-in law. She said: "Please take as long as necessary to have it done." So, I took a little more than 18 years to print this poem and "permanent-ize" for all the family to enjoy. This week I decided that I would try to share a little bit about Jacob Meisler's life. First, I will share what I know to be facts, then a bit of what might be urban legend, and close with some photos and documents for all to enjoy.

Just the facts...

Jacob (Jakob) was born September 22, 1891
His parents were Perle(Pescha) Bochner (nee) and Aaron (Euron) Meisler
Jacob was born in Delatyn - Delatyn is a village in the foothills of the Carpathian mountains. It lies along the Pruth River within Eastern Galicia. Before World War I it was part of the Austro-Hungarian Empire; between the World Wars, Poland, after World War II, the U.S.S.R, and today, Ukraine. Delatyn was home to a vibrant Jewish community until the Fall of 1941.
Jacob had seven (7) siblings: Chaim Laib, Zigmund (Zelig or Sigmund), Chai Ester, Max (Mendel), Lena, Yette, and Alte.
Aaron, Jacob's father, was a tailor.
Aaron died in 1914, just before the family was forced to leave Delatyn.
Jacob immigrated to the United States in 1909.
Jacob set sail from Rotterdam, Holland, on July 31, 1909. He sailed on the S.S. Ryndam. He was listed on the manifest as Jankel Meisler, Austrian, Hebrew, from Belatyn, Austria, 18 years old, single. His next of kin was listed as Aron Meisler. His occupation was listed as tailor. He was held for "special inspection" because he "squints". He had 25 dollars and he told the inspectors he was going to live with Isaac Strum at 150 12th Street, New York, NY.(Isaac was married to Lena Meisler - Jacob's sister). He arrived at Ellis Island on August 10, 1909.
Jacob's mother, Pesche/Pescha, died in New York City in 1936 or 1937.
Jacob married Rose Drucker (nee)
Jacob and Rose had three children: Bertha (10/28/1912), Estelle (03/17/1914- 02/03/2006) and Sidney (05/22/1916 - 08/16/1995)
On June 5, 1917, Jacob registered for the United States draft. According to his registration he was living at 734 E 9th Street, New York, NY. He was employed as an operator for Singer which was located at 6-8 E 27th St. He is married with three children. He is described as short and stout. He claimed exemption from the draft because of his stomach and right eye. In answer to the question, "has person lost arm, leg, hand, foot, eye or both eyes or is he otherwise disabled (specify)?" he answered "right eye."
On June 18, 1920, Jacob Meisler became a Naturalized Citizen of the United States. He was 28 years old, 5 foot 5 inches tall, living at 341 Crimmins Avenue, Bronx, New York, with his wife Rose and three children.
According to the 1930 Census, taken on April 22, 1930, Jacob and Rose Meisler lived at 823 East 147th Street, Bronx, NY. They lived there with Bertha, Estelle and Sidney. Their monthly rent was $60. Jacob's occupation is listed as a tailor and Bertha's occupation is listed as a bookkeeper. The census indicates that they had a radio set!
In 1933 Jacob Meisler owned a car; this is according to a photo provided by Bertha.
On March 5, 1938, Bertha Meisler married Julius Helfand, D.D.S.
In 1942, Jacob Meisler again registered for the US draft. His registration reports his address as 111 West 167th Street, Bronx, NY. His employer is listed as Casual Sportswear 224 West 35th Street, New York, NY.
Jacob and Rose Meisler enjoyed eight grandchildren: Dennis Helfand, Harvey Helfand, Vivian Helfand, Stephen Goldberg, Beverly Goldberg, Phyllis Meisler, Myrna Meisler, and Sheri (Sherry Jane)Meisler.
Jacob and Rose's grandchildren are now parents and grandparents, as well.
In 1947 the following Meislers served as "officers" of the Meisler Family Circle: Jacob Meisler (President), Sigmund Meisler (Vice-President), Max Meisler (Vice-President), C. Esther Holtz, and Lena Strum.
Jacob and Rose Meisler bought a two family home at 1559 Pelham Parkway North, Bronx, NY
Jacob and Rose resided on the first level of the home at 1559 Pelham Parkway N, and Estelle (Stella) Meisler Goldberg and Benjamin Goldberg resided in the top level home with their children Stephen and Beverly.
Jacob and Rose loved to dance.
After Rose's passing, Jacob often would spend the winter months in Miami Beach, FL.
On September 22, 1978, Jacob celebrated his 87th birthday at the home of his grand-nephew Robert Stuckleman (grandson of Zigmund (Sigmund or Zelig) Meisler).
On September 23, 1978, Jacob Meisler danced at our wedding which took place at Robert and Tina Stuckelman's home. In attendance were: Mildred Meisler Stuckelman, Bertha Meisler Helfand, Estelle Meisler Goldberg, Benjamin Goldberg, Sidney Meisler, Rosalie Meisler (nee Steiner), Vivian Rubin (nee Helfand), Marc Rubin, Stephen Goldberg, Mark Stuckelman, Nona Stuckelman, Joseph Stuckelman and Sylvia Drucker.
Jacob spent the summer of 1981 and 1982 with us in West Covina, CA. He watched Aaron learn to swim and met Johnny Carson (got his autograph) on a return flight to New York City!
December 1982, Dennis and I visited Poppy in Miami Beach, FL. During this trip we met Jack and Rose Holtz. Jack was the son of Jacob's sister, Chai Ester (married to Israel Holz).
From 1985-1989, we visited Poppy where he lived at the Ambassador Manor, Long Beach, NY.
On March 23, 1989, Jacob Meisler passed away, just shy of his 98th birthday.
Both Jacob and Rose Meisler (nee Drucker) are at rest at Beth El Cemetery in Paramus, NJ.

Some urban legends (items I have not been able to prove)...

I was told a few times that Jacob's father, Aaron, designed military uniforms for Franz Joseph I of Austro-Hungarian Empire.
I have been told that Poppy is known in New York City fashion industry as the designer of the woman's Eisenhower jacket.

Photos and documents...

Over the years I have managed to gather copies or original photos and documents. I know that so many of you must have great photos of your own family that include part of the Jacob Meisler history. I hope that this little project will inspire you to send me the digital copies and I will add them to this post. One more thing, you should know that of Jacob's seven (7) siblings, two died young and before marrying. According to Bertha (Birdie), Chaim Laib died at two years of age and Yette died in Delatyn at the age of 22 of tuberculosis.

It has been my honor to have met descendants of Jacob Meisler, Chai Esther Meisler, Zelig (Zigmund/Sigmund) Meisler and Mendel (Max) Meisler. On October 9, 2010, 15 descendants of Jacob and Zelig gathered to celebrate the marriage of Jacob's great-grandson Aaron Helfand (named for Jacob and Zelig's father) and Allison Gubanich.

Finally, a quote from Carl Sandburg...

"A camera testament, a drama of the grand canyon of humanity, an epic woven of fun, mystery and holiness - here is the Family of Man!"

Enjoy the journey (click on any photo to enlarge) and please add your own memories in the comments!

Jacob Meisler's passport verifies year of birth 1891 and immigration year 1909

Jacob Meisler's United States Draft Registration 1917

Jacob Meisler's Certificate of Naturalization June 18, 1920

Jacob Meisler's Family Listed in the US 1930 Census

Standing L-R: Estelle Meisler, Jacob Meisler, Rose Meisler and seated L-R Bertha Meisler & Sidney Meisler - Year unknown

Selig Meisler, Sol Strum, Jennie Singer Meisler, Bertha Meisler, Rose Meisler, Estelle Meisler, Ben Triebwasser and Jacob Meisler 1933

Selig Meisler, Jennie Singer Meisler, Rose Drucker Meisler and Estelle Meisler 1933

Meisler Family Gathering Includes Julius Helfand, Bertha Helfand, Benjamin Goldberg, Estelle Goldberg, Rose Meisler and Jacob Meisler (front right) - year unknown

Jacob Meisler's 1942 US Draft Registration

January 16, 1955- Dennis Helfand's Bar Mitzvah. L-R standing Harvey Helfand, Benjamin Goldberg, Jacob Meisler, Julius Helfand, Dennis Helfand, Sidney Meisler, Phyllis Meisler,. L - R sitting Estelle Goldberg, Rose Meisler, Bertha Helfand, Rosalie Meisler, Myrna Meisler. L-R Floor sitting Stephen Goldberg and Vivian Helfand

September 23, 1978: L-R Back Row Robert Stuckelman, Tina Stuckelman, Sidney Meisler, Dennis Helfand, Stephen Goldberg, Benjamin Goldberg, Vivian Rubin, Sylvia Drucker, Marc Rubin; L-R Front Row Nona Stuckelman, Rosalie Meisler, Mildred Meisler Stuckelman, Joseph Stuckelman, Bertha Helfand, Estelle Goldberg, Jacob Meisler, and Mark Stuckelman. The Stuckelmans are Zelig Meisler's descendants.

L- R Bertha Meisler Helfand, Jacob Meisler, Judith Eagen Helfand, Dennis Helfand September 23, 1978.

Dennis Helfand, Aaron Helfand and Jacob Meisler- Summer 1981 California

This is a letter written by Jack Meisler to Dennis and Judy. He wrote this to send me Birdie's poem for his 90th Birthday Party. Notice he says to give regards to the Stuckelman Family.

Jacob Meisler, Aaron Helfand and Dennis Helfand - Three generations Summer 1982 California

Summer 1982 L-R standing Jacob Meisler and George Meisler, L-R seated Belle Fertel Meisler, Judy Helfand, Aaron Helfand and Mildred Meisler Stuckelman. George and Mildred's father was Zelig Meisler, brother of Jacob.

Bertha Helfand, Dennis Helfand, Jacob Meisler, Daniel Helfand and Aaron Helfand. Four Generations September 1985.

Summer 1987 New Hampshire - L-R Back Row: Dennis Helfand, Judy Helfand, Richard Meisler, Joshua Meisler, Daniel Meisler. L-R Front Row: Aaron Helfand, Daniel Helfand, Miriam Meisler. Richard and his sons Joshua and Daniel are the grandson and great-grandsons of Mendel (Max) Meisler. (Max is in the photo at the top of this article).

Aaron and Daniel Helfand, Jacob Meisler's great-grandsons - March 1989.

Some of Jacob Meisler and Zelig Meisler's grandchildren and great-grandchildren: Beverly Goldberg standing in background. L-R Seated: Mark Stuckelman, Phyllis Levine, Myrna Korman, Renee Ponder, Nona Stuckelman and Robert Stuckelman. Tucson, AZ October 8, 2010.

Jacob Meisler's great grandson Aaron Helfand celebrates his marriage to Allison Gubanich - October 9, 2010. Included in the photo (marked with a blue vertical line) are some of Jacob Meisler and Zelig Meisler's grandchildren and great grandchildren.

L-R: Jared Rubin, Douglas Rubin (Jacob's great grandsons), Jen Bender Rubin, Vivian Rubin(Jacob's grand-daughter) and Marc Rubin. August 7, 2011.

Bertha Meisler Helfand visiting with her great granddaughter, Meredith Yates. August 8, 2011.

Times Long Gone - Remembering 9/11

2011-09-09T14:10:00.000-07:00

View of the World Trade Center 1990 - Click to enlarge

Times Long Gone - Auld Lang Syne

A lot happens in a decade. This Sunday most of us, who are old enough, will be remembering September 11, 2001, or as we often refer to the day 9/11. We will think back to where we were, who we were with, how we spent the day and following days. It is what we do. We have our memories, albeit sometimes edited because they are too painful.

When I wrote my 2001 holiday letter I talked about searching for a "connection" to New York City and the World Trade Center.

"...in the Fall of 1976, I actually toured the World Trade Center with my sister's brother-in-law; we even went to the Observation Deck. It was a cold and windy day, and sadly even though I returned to the City quite often as the years passed, I never returned to the Trade Center. I would point out the structure to Aaron and Daniel on each visit, but we never took the time to stop and tour this landmark. I kept thinking, if I only had a picture, I would have that needed connection."

As I said, a lot happens in a decade. I am thinking back now to good times, bad times, sad times. We have all, no doubt, experienced our own Circle of Life events through this decade - weddings, births, graduations, illnesses, retirements, deaths, career changes, wars, divorces, elections...life goes on.

The photo you see above was taken by me in 1990; however, I had misplaced it, until a few weeks ago. That's right; it took me 10 years to find my photo of the World Trade Center. I took this photo from Statue Cruises boat. Aaron, Daniel, Grandma Birdie and I were touring Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty.

The photo you see below is a blended image of Aaron and Daniel on the Statue Cruises boat in 1990 and celebrating Aaron's wedding October 9, 2010 - Circle of Life events.


Aaron & Daniel - Click to enlarge

Would love your comments. What has this decade been like for you? What Circle of Life events have you experienced from 2001 - 2011?

On Target, Does Cursive Matter?

2011-09-06T14:06:00.000-07:00

School is starting today in many districts across the United States. Here in Tucson school started a few weeks ago. I have been reading a lot lately about the Common Core Curriculum which has been adopted by 40 of our 50 states and which suggests that there really is no need to teach cursive.

Cursive is a strange word. I remember the first time I heard it used. My oldest son came home from third grade and proudly announced that he was learning cursive. I told him I had no idea what he was talking about. The year was 1990. I was 41. He then showed me what he meant. And I said, "Oh, you mean handwriting or penmanship!" He just kind of smiled. To this day I still have two pendaflex folders filled with Aaron's "cursive" 4th grade spelling tests that interestingly enough had to be done with two columns: One column for the printed word and one column for the word written in cursive. Mr. Dyrenforth graded each column not only for spelling accuracy, but also for cursive and printing proficiencies. For the record, I liked John Dyrenforth and so did Aaron and his brother, Daniel.

I was taught penmanship (that is what it was called in California in 1957) by the Benedictine nuns. I struggled somewhat as I am left-handed and by the time I started grammar school most nuns had given up on converting the left-handed to be right-handed. I say I struggled because if you are left handed you know all about smearing your ink and trying to write over the spiral rings of notebooks. You know all about sitting in one-sided desks designed for the right-handed. You struggle more if you insist on getting the slant of the Palmer method perfect for Sister Elitas.

But let's get back to the question at hand. Does cursive matter? I know many of you will say it is more important for students to learn to TYPE on a keyboard. But are they learning to TYPE? I don't have an answer to that question. I learned to type in a public school summer class. I was in 7th grade. I have never been sorry about taking that class.

Here is what I love most about cursive. It is personal. It is distinct. Every time I receive a card from my husband it has his very distinct handwriting. I have letters from my mother and father that I keep, more because they are handwritten...not typed or printed, but handwritten. I love getting letters from my dear friend Ginny, all handwritten. I know immediately when I have received a letter from my friend Arnold. He doesn't type it, but addresses the letter and envelope in cursive. If we don't continue to teach cursive, will the children of today not have signatures?

Today I would like to share a TARGET ad with you. I wonder how many of our children will not be able to read the ad "Expect More, Pay Less".

On the other hand, below is a handwritten letter. It was written by my father in 1937. He was 19. He was writing to his twin sister. I love this letter. The only thing he got wrong was that he did not know the correct spelling of the troop transport ship USS Chaumont. He confused it with the USS Shawmut. If you click on the photos they get larger.

I hope you will give your comments. On target, does cursive matter?

E. E. Cummings Oct 14, 1894 - Sept 3, 1962

2011-09-03T18:31:00.000-07:00

Cover of e. e. cummings

Edward Estlin Cummings (E. E. Cummings) died in 1962, 49 years ago today. He died of a stroke at the Memorial Hospital in North Conway, NH. He summered at his Joy Farm in Silver Lake, New Hampshire. I am sharing this with you only because I always liked reading his works. He died the summer before I started high school. I kind of doubt that Sister Maria Dolores (Freshman English) introduced me to Cummings, but I know I read many of his poems prior to high school graduation, including the poem you see here.

I don't have much in common with Cummings, except that I lived in North Conway, NH from 1985-1997 and I lived through many interesting hours at the Memorial Hospital - husband's surgeries, children's surgeries and broken bones. And, yes, I was there once for the broken ribs I suffered as a result of an angry cow! I also recall some very idyllic summer days at Silver Lake and I think I know why Mr. Cummings loved his Joy Farm.

E. E. Cummings wrote about 2900 poems. ITEM (I don't really know if it has another name) is said to have been written circa 1926. So interesting. What made him write this poem? Do you know?

XIV

ITEM

this man is o so
Waiter
this;woman is

please shut that
the pout And affectionate leer
interminable pyramidal, napkins
(this man is oh so tired of this
a door opens by itself
woman.)they so to speak were in

Love once?
now
her mouth opens too far
and:she attacks her Lobster without
feet mingle under the
mercy.
(exit the hors d'oeuvres)

Tell me what you think of this poem.

And for fun here are some photos of my family enjoying Silver Lake 25 years ago this month. (If you click on the photos they will enlarge.)

Daniel enjoying Sharon and Norm Wilson's boat and dog!

Aaron with Norm (far left), Sharon, Judy and Dennis

The Help - Why Not Be Part Of The Living Proof

2011-08-23T07:52:00.000-07:00

Cover of The Help

The recently released movie The Help continues to draw viewers. In fact this past weekend The Help won the box office take. As TODAY reported: “No matter how you look at it, the female-driven drama about the relationship between black housekeepers and the white families they care for in the segregated 1960s is fast approaching phenom status. It drew bigger audiences than two higher-profile remakes debuting this weekend, “Conan the Barbarian” and “Fright Night” — combined.”

The recently released movie The Help continues to draw reviewers. I am not here to talk about how The Help beat out a remake of Conan the Barbarian, but more about why people are choosing to see The Help even with many negative reviews.

Did you read Kathryn Stockett’s The Help? Did you see the movie based on The Help? I did both, but you should know that some reviewers did not read the book and some reviewers did not read the book or see the movie. But, again, I am not here to review either, but more to talk about why there is so much talk about The Help.

Some people, many women, seem very angry about this story. They are angry about the film. I am having trouble figuring out if they are more angry about our history or angry that someone who was not born until around 1971 took the initiative to tell a story about what is was like to be “raised” by a black housekeeper/servant/maid or to have been black and “raised” white children in Jackson, MS in 1963. Remember, Ms. Stockett was raised in Jackson, MS and was partly raised by her grandmother's black maid, Demetrie. So she does have a point of reference.

Here’s the thing. I was a freshman in high school in 1963, not a recent college graduate like the story’s Eugenia, aka Skeeter. I did not live in the “south”, but San Diego, CA. I did not come from a well to do family, certainly no household help. I am the granddaughter of Irish immigrants. I went to a very racially integrated all girls’ high school, with at least 35% of my graduating class being what we now refer to as “women of color” and never gave it a second thought. I remember Medgar Evers being assassinated. And I know that Mr. Evers was assassinated just five months before President Kennedy. When these events were covered in the movie....I choked and starting coughing. The memories are strong. They will not leave us, even those of us who were not raised in the South.

I saw The Help with my husband. It was a week ago; we went to a Saturday 10:00AM showing, thinking the theater would be quiet. To our surprise the theater filled with people of all ages. The ladies sitting next to me were serious and contemplating each scene. They seemed to want to make sure the director had captured the essence of the novel. Did we clap at the end? Yes, but maybe for the same reason that Tucsonans clapped at the Together We Thrive Memorial Service. Applauding is something you do when you want to say thank you.

Thank you to Kathryn Stockett for taking a chance. Thank you for making us think. Thank you for making us want to learn more about how other people lived and live. Thank you for making us realize that we all have different life stories. Thank you to DreamWorks for producing The Help. Thank you to Octavia Spencer and Viola Davis for sharing their talent and their insights.

As I write this post, I wonder if what Kathryn Stockett is experiencing might mirror what Edna Ferber or Fannie Hurst experienced. Imagine what people thought when first they read Ferber’s Showboat or Giant. Imagine the reviews from Hurst’s Imitation of Life. The truth is, writing about race relations in our country has never been easy. Playing the part of a maid/mammy/housekeeper/house servant has never been easy. Marietta Canty did just that at least 40 times in her career. A remarkable career indeed.

This week, as a nation, we prepare to dedicate the Martin Luther King, Jr. Memorial. At this time can we stop and just have a conversation? Can we read a novel, watch a movie and find what we have in common and build on that thread? Don't lecture, but teach. Imagine the fabric we might weave if we all just took time to listen to each other’s story.

Be part of The Living Proof, share your story here...please!

Overbooked Children 20 Years Later

2011-08-18T10:23:00.000-07:00

For the record I am not a mommy blogger. Or on second thought maybe I am one of the original mommy bloggers; consider that I started writing my yearly "painfully honest" holiday letters around 1985 and when I published Innovations for our Cranmore Mt. Lodge I frequently opined about raising our sons, Aaron and Daniel. This past week my friend, Angela DeCicco, Facebook shared a New York Times article: Family Happiness and the Overbooked Child.

Whatever your current status is: parent with small children, grandparent, aunt, uncle, parent with teenagers, please read the article. I did. And it made me think back 20 years ago when our children wanted to participate in activities or learn a musical instrument. We had to weigh each request carefully, not just from the monetary impact, but also impact on their time, our time and quite frankly their real interest.

So let's see. Here is a quick rundown of formal ACTIVITIES that Aaron and Daniel enjoyed: alpine skiing training and competitive racing (both), soccer camp (Daniel), little league baseball (Aaron), Nordic skiing training and competitive racing (Daniel), Cub Scouts (Aaron) and guitar lessons (both). From my "edited" memories I am happy to report:

Our spare closet still plays home to the alpine skiing trophies, medals, ribbons and I can still remember 10 year old Aaron returning from the 1991 Junior Ski Meisters Awards night. He had received a number of awards and exclaimed: "This was the best night of my whole life!"
Daniel won some kind of recognition at summer soccer camp, but for the life of me I cannot remember the details. (But be assured I have photos.)
In 1992 Aaron played baseball for the John Fuller Farm League and he was the first recipient of the James Reed Memorial Trophy for being the "most improved player."
In 1996 Daniel participated in the inaugural "Ski to the Clouds" race. He still holds the record for the youngest person to x-country ski UP the Mt. Washington Auto Road.
Guitar lessons...my clearest memory is: after multiple months of lessons, Grandma Birdie asked the boys to play her a song. They managed to "pick" out "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star!" Grandma Birdie was a pretty good audience (just a little eye-rolling), after all that is a grandma's duty. But Aaron and Daniel soon put down the guitars. Playing a musical instrument seemed not to be part of their DNA...the lessons ceased.

Today I am writing this post to share with you my thoughts about providing opportunities for your children. I have mentioned before that my mother insisted that my siblings and I learn how to play a musical instrument. I have no idea what this cost my parents over the 15 + years that we took lessons. I was never good in sports, but my parents did allow my middle sister to take tennis lessons and we all experienced rudimentary horseback riding (it was free). My brother played sports; he has a lot of trophies and mended bones. But details aside, I have always been thankful for these opportunities which allowed me to learn and appreciate the arts.

Opportunities are not always wrapped in a formal training program, be it a camp or team. Sometimes we can provide our children with opportunities by allowing them to learn a skill and practice the skill in day to day life. For example, when Aaron was about 12 Dennis encouraged or invited him to learn how to cook breakfast for our inn guests. Aaron found he liked cooking and he could be rewarded with compliments and a small paycheck. If you like to write then encourage your children. My dad liked to write silly poetry. I had an uncle that loved to draw - pencil sketching, and all these years later that innate ability has come alive in my sisters and at least one of my nephews. My husband loves to play the piano. It comes naturally to him. As little boys, Aaron and Daniel watched intently.

To my friends that have little children or are expecting babies, enjoy the moments. Encourage your children, but remember they will always keep surprising you. Want to know what our "overbooked children" are doing now 20 years later? Well, I am going to tell you.

Aaron and Dennis at the CIA - August 2, 2011

Aaron is now (eight years after his college graduation) enrolled in the Culinary Institute of America's ACE Program. In fact earlier this month we visited with Aaron at the CIA. (see photo of Aaron and Dennis).

Daniel plays a great harmonica (see YouTube video below- Daniel is the one on the right). And now we have learned he is teaching himself how to play the piano! And believe me, he gets it. Music is part of him. So what if he is not a classical guitarist...Grandma Birdie was proud to have Daniel play piano for her friends earlier this month. By the way, he took up downhill skiing again this year.

Daniel playing the piano - August 2011

The truth is most children will find their way, their passion. And when they do, learning becomes fun and they will happily spend hours with their chosen art.

Your thoughts? Are you overbooking your children?

In Memory of Betty Ford

2011-07-11T12:39:00.000-07:00

Image via Wikipedia

Tomorrow our nation will bid a final farewell to Betty Ford. She was our First Lady from August 9, 1974 till January 20, 1977. Not a long time, but an important time. When I learned of her passing on July 8th I thought back to that tumultuous period when we watched Watergate unfold. And then rather suddenly, Mr. Nixon resigned and Jerry and Betty Ford moved into the White House. I liked Betty, she was my mother’s peer. Betty was born April 8, 1918, 16 days after my mother was born. Don’t get me wrong, my mother didn’t personally know Betty Ford. But there is something about First Ladies that seems to capture our attention and we look for ways to identify with them, maybe because they make our White House a home.

Thinking back on my lifetime there have been 12 First Ladies: Bess Truman, Mamie Eisenhower, Jacqueline Kennedy, Lady Bird Johnson, Pat Nixon, Betty Ford, Rosalynn Carter, Nancy Reagan, Barbara Bush, Hillary Clinton, Laura Bush and Michelle Obama.

I was a baby for most of Bess Truman’s time in the White House; she was a little older than my paternal grandmother. I remember Mamie. I often wonder if my mother cut our bangs so that our hairdos would resemble Mamie's. I know in 1955 my mother-in-law wore her hair like Mamie Eisenhower. I also remember winning an essay contest for writing about President Eisenhower and my husband went to college with their grandson, David. There is too much to say about Jackie. We shared in her joy, every woman wanted have her natural good looks, we cried with her, we mourned with her and she taught us how to heal. Many years later I hosted her son, John, at our country inn. Lady Bird brought daughters into the White House. Linda Bird and Luci were my peers. We were able to share in their weddings. Pat Nixon’s real name was Thelma Catherine Ryan Nixon. To me Mrs. Nixon always seemed sad, but she glowed whenever she talked about her daughters and we enjoyed watching Tricia being married in the White House. I will come back to Betty. Rosalynn Carter was sweet and charming. I remember we were excited that a young girl, Amy, would be moving into the White House. In 1985, 26 years ago this summer, I had a private breakfast with President Carter in the Anchorage Airport. He was in the Alaska Airlines’ First Class Lounge waiting for Mrs. Carter to get ready to catch a flight. And the story goes on...Nancy, Barbara, Hillary, Laura and now Michelle. Each has let us into their life, just a little. But none will compare to Betty.

Six weeks after becoming our First Lady, Betty Ford underwent a radical mastectomy. Up until that time no one really talked about breast cancer, at least we didn’t talk aloud about it. We feared it. Betty Ford went public and perhaps saved many lives by her willingness to discuss it. Most forget that Happy Rockefeller, then Second Lady of the United States, underwent a mastectomy just two weeks following Mrs. Ford’s surgery.

Betty stood for much more. She worked tirelessly for women’s rights marching in Washington, D.C. for the Equal Rights Amendment. She was openly pro-choice. TIME magazine called her the country’s “Fighting First Lady”. In 1978 she and her family went public with her alcoholism and addiction to pain medicine. And once again, she stood tall and realized that the disease of addiction shadows almost every American family; she and her family took on the crusade to help people find recovery. In 1982 the Betty Ford Center opened in Rancho Mirage, CA. on the Eisenhower Medical Center Campus. I never met Mrs. Ford, but having worked in the addiction and recovery industry I did tour the Betty Ford Center. I met Jerry Moe, Vice President, National Director of Children's Programs for the Betty Ford Center and to this day he continues to deliver the long standing message of the Betty Ford Center... “serving patients, saving families”.

Tomorrow, July 12, 2011, services will be held to honor Elizabeth Ann Bloomer Warren Ford - Betty Ford. I understand that Rosalynn Carter will deliver one of the eulogies. I find comfort in this. Betty was a fighter, she was generous, offering each of us a part of herself. She taught us to talk about diseases that shatter a person’s life and a family’s life. She was anything but anonymous. She was brave and candid.

She wasn't afraid to dream!

Your thoughts...

I Walked Out On Frank Sinatra!

2011-06-01T14:09:00.000-07:00

Image via Wikipedia

I once walked out of a Frank Sinatra performance.

It was July 30, 1982. Mr. Sinatra was the headliner for the New Universal Amphitheatre. This was an opening night benefit performance, complete with Hollywood legends being interviewed on the red carpet, 6200 guests in total including my husband and me - compliments of my husband’s employer Atlantic Richfield (ARCO). The comedian Charlie Callas opened for Frank Sinatra. He was his usual entertaining self. And then suddenly Mr. Sinatra strolled on to the stage and was welcomed with a standing ovation.

We settled back into our seats, the orchestra started to play and HE began to sing. He sang all the familiar songs, but something didn’t seem right. And then we realized that he was reading the words, not from a teleprompter but from sheet music that was propped up on his music stand. He fumbled lyrics and really didn’t seem to engage with the audience of his peers and fans. Finally, as he reached the end of the first set he started to sing “New York, New York” --the crowd got to their feet -- but still he had to read the lyrics. And as he finished, my husband and I looked at each other and we knew we were leaving. Yep...we got up and left. The “professional” was not prepared!

Are you wondering why I am telling you this story? Well, there are some on-line discussions, maybe more than a few, going on regarding last week’s Closing Keynote at Blog World New York. I wasn’t there. I wanted to attend Blog World New York; however, prior commitments made it impossible. But I am familiar with the Closing Keynote Talk Show format having attended Blog World 2009 and Blog World 2010. I was very impressed with the 2010 Closing Keynote Talk Show “New Media Live” hosted by Rob Barnett, who interviewed Adam Corolla, Penn Jillette, Jeffrey Hayzlett and Cali Lewis. It was informative, interesting, entertaining and sometimes very funny.

But I am not here to talk about 2010, I want to offer what might be some simple observations about what many are calling a cringe -provoking event and what one tweet summed up like this:

"Grateful to those of you who hung out at #bweny for the closing keynote. Enjoy your party! I'm flying home. :)"

I don’t think the problem had much to do with the presenters, the subject matter, the content, but more about the presentation itself. When you “book” a keynote “act” (and don’t kid yourself - a keynote is an “act”) you are paying for a professional performance. The lighting needs to be programmed, the sound system needs to be tested, the orchestra needs to be rehearsed, and someone needs to “call” show. To invite five “professionals” to a stage who may never have presented together in the past and expect it to just work is playing with fire. This is live theatre and anything can happen, but your preparation has to be spot on.
I might be wrong, but I suspect most people in the audience would have been just fine with the adult language (edgy content) if they were watching a polished show with context. Do you really think people walk out on Lewis Black or Bill Maher or Sarah Silverman or Chris Rock or Dennis Miller? What would make people walk out is that they don’t want to watch a train wreck...it is just too painful. Not unlike me watching Frank Sinatra 29 years ago.
People commenting on this topic have talked about how they are professionals attending a conference of bloggers, professionals, and business owners. Can we look-up the definition for “professional”? It does not necessarily imply educational status, advanced degrees. A professional is anyone who conforms to the technical and ethical standards of a profession. More importantly, if you are being paid you have moved from amateur status to professional status. It is about showing up on time, prepared and performing the task that you are being paid to do. It is less about what you do for a living, and more about how well you do it and how effortlessly you “seem” to do it.

This on-line conversation will probably continue for a few more days. I know that Rick Calvert, Dave Cynkin, Deb Ng and the entire Blog World team will learn from Blog World New York. Every year they fine tune their product. They are observant and sensitive to what they see and hear. I, for one, look forward to meeting up with the whole crew this November when the curtain goes up on Blog World LA!

Your thoughts...you think about it. I would love your input. In the meantime, you might get a kick out of this short YouTube video.

Social Media TRUST Is Like Wearing A Lapel Pin

2011-05-23T06:31:00.000-07:00

Last Friday Jay Baer published a post "Speak No Evil - Why Trust Isn't a 4 Letter Word in Social Media". I came across his piece as I have "social" friends that follow Jay; I saw a Tweet and took a break to read the post. Maybe you read it, maybe you commented -- I will say this, the conversation got pretty interesting. If you have ever been an employer or employee you might want to add your two cents. Here is mine!

Circa 1979 Crocker National Bank AVP

Two years ago I touched on my corporate career, writing a piece for my company's blog. If you read this blog with any regularity, then you might know about other jobs I have held since 1968! I once wrote a whole post about my adventures of being a Sears' employee. OK, suffice it to say I have been in the work force for 43 years. I have seen a lot. That is why I was taken aback when Jay said: "The belief in decentralized social media and every employee being in marketing is taking root in America." I believe that for decades, maybe even approaching a century + companies have known that every employee is part of marketing. This is not NEW!

Companies may take a different approach now that we have "social media", but it is really not very different than the days of lapel pins and/or uniforms.

Weren't we always social? I think so. 40 plus years ago the banking industry dreamed of eliminating tellers by introducing Automatic Teller Machines (ATMs), but they soon discovered that customers still like and need to go into a bank office and interact with bank employees and why not have that be a teller, as opposed to a marketer or Vice President. According to Wikipedia: "Tellers are considered a "front line" in the banking business. This is because they are the first people that a customer sees at the bank and are also the people most likely to detect and stop fraudulent transactions in order to prevent losses at a bank." Given this definition you'd think it was a pretty high paying job...but the median income for tellers is about $22,000.

Jay is correct when he concludes that "common sense and good judgment is not the sole property of a department" such as marketing, but I disagree with Jay when he says that "it's just that social media missteps are public", as if news media has not always been public. Jay suggests (I am sure tongue in cheek) that companies might consider reading employees' emails or listen in on their phone calls. These two activities have been part of the corporate world for a long time. And when the corporate world was less technically mature, we had mimeograph machines, steno pads, the Recordak machine, microfilm, multi-line phones and employees' memories. I think what Jay might have meant to say is that today's social media missteps are immediate. They were always PUBLIC.

Ernest Hemingway once said: "The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them." Trust is a two way street and it doesn't take long for an employee or employer to know whether they can trust each other. Think about the lapel pin. Recognizable logos! As soon as the employee is seen in PUBLIC wearing the company pin they are part of the Social Media department. When a company hands the employee the pin or supplies a uniform or logo embroidered polo shirt they have broadened the employee's role to include marketing. The employee's social audience has broadened further than one might imagine.

Last year at BWE10 I heard Jeffrey Hayzlett remark that the "customer owns the brand"; today's board rooms and senior management would do well to remember that every employee really is and always has been part of marketing. I have some great lapel pins to prove it!

Go ahead click the photo. How many of these companies can you identify?

Do you have any lapel pins? How about polo shirts? I would love to know what you think...

What's all this about comments?

2011-04-06T18:46:00.000-07:00

San Diego Zoo sign

The past few days it appears a few bloggers are writing about blog comments. I think I must have missed a meeting. Was there an on-line discussion that triggered these posts? It seems to me there is a strange undercurrent about this topic. Let me give you a few examples, maybe you have read others.

When Opinions Turn Ugly: Passive-Aggressive Blogging

From Silent to Troll in 60 Seconds

Look in the Mirror

The Other Side of Comments and Community

How Do You Sleep At Night?

Beware the Bog of Eternal Stench

This is Déjà vu. In fact, now I remember it was last fall when I wrote a comment on one of Chris Brogan's posts. It went like this:

Chris,
Sometimes I must really be asleep at the switch. Where does all this drama unfold? I get so busy with my clients and trying to stay up to date on strategy that I have totally missed this soap opera. I will say this: yesterday I read Julien's post about "How to Make Popular/Influential Friends" and he closed with this sentence: "This post inspired by a bunch of talk going on recently that I don’t want to give more attention to." So...I said to myself...something is going on and I am really out of the loop, but I wondered why Julien was dignifying the 'bunch of talk' by even writing the post. (Curiously no one has commented on Julien's post. [to date only one comment - 04/06/2011])
In the scheme of things...we have two wars, North Korea shooting at South Korea, people losing their homes, cholera epidemic in Haiti, people starving in our own towns...be the bigger person, as I know you are, do good work like you tell us to do.
Thank you for all you do.
Judy

Come to think about it, yesterday Chris Brogan tweeted:

"If people spent 1/2 as much time working on good things instead of spreading rumors..."

When I read Chris' tweet it gave me a funny feeling and then in the last 24 hours came the blogs referenced above. Here is what I know. It is hard to know what all is going on in social media. Sometimes there is an undercurrent that just lingers. It is unsettling. You aren't quite sure what started the discussion and many involved don't want to share the gory details. My guess is this will always go on, after all we're humans. We don't always communicate well when we are face to face, so for sure our words can and will be misconstrued in cyberspace.

Last evening I was reading a fairly new blog and came across this post: An Editorial Comment. Go ahead click over and read it. Pretty interesting, don't you think?

I know it seems a bit crazy to ask for your comments. But I really would like to know what you think. So please, comment away!

BUtterfield 8 Remembering Elizabeth Taylor and My Dad

2011-03-23T19:48:00.000-07:00

Cover of BUtterfield 8

This morning I woke to the news that Elizabeth Taylor had died. As the newscaster read the first take on her life's history I thought about my Dad. You see, the newscaster mentioned her role in BUtterfield 8. Do you know the movie? It was released in 1960 and it was this role that won her the first of two Academy Awards for Best Actress. The movie, according to IMDB, is about "the romantic life of a fashionable Manhattan beauty who's part model, part call-girl--and all man-trap."

I know you are probably thinking that BUtterfield 8 is my favorite Elizabeth Taylor movie. It is not, in fact, I have never seen BUtterfield 8. Surprised? Well, I was only 11 when the movie premiered and I think my parents may have thought the subject matter was too mature. But my father had a great sense of humor and from a very early age (let's just say kindergarten) I always had boyfriends. So in 1961 when my father would find himself in a position to introduce his three daughters (I was the youngest) he would say: "And this is Judy...we call her BUtterfield 8!"

The best part of this story is that I never got the joke. Finally, today I learned the plot line of BUtterfield 8 and now I get it! Plus, I now understand why my mother always frowned when my father would introduce me in this fashion. Oh, well....my father liked to kid and I liked it when he kidded with me and about me.

Today I would like to share with you, not just my little anecdotal story about my Dad, but also some of the really wonderful films that Elizabeth Taylor helped make remarkable. These are films that I have seen many times and will often stop to watch and say to my children..."here is a classic, don't miss it!"

Father of the Bride (1950)

A Place in the Sun (1951)

Giant (1956)

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (1958)

Elizabeth Taylor was a fascinating woman. She had a passion for life and for living. For my entire life I have watched her life unfold. It was never dull and never without a purpose. She drove us crazy. She made us laugh. She made us cry. More often than not, she made us think about life and what can be. She was a star!

Do you have a favorite Elizabeth Taylor film? I would love to hear from you.

While you think about that, enjoy the trailer from BUtterfield 8.

60 Minutes With Homeless Kids

2011-03-07T20:35:00.000-08:00

Image via Wikipedia

Why I missed #blogchat on March 6, 2011

Over the past nine months I have regularly participated in a Twitter #blogchat, Sunday evenings at 8:00PM CST. That is, I join in if I am in town and not busy with family or friends. I learn a lot from this Twitter chat, which I then apply to my business and share with our clients. I have met many interesting and talented people on #blogchat. In fact, this very blog exists because of a #blogchat that took place on June 6, 2010. But today I want to tell you why I didn't join #blogchat this past Sunday.

60 Minutes is a Sunday night tradition

60 Minutes has been a part of American Sunday evenings since 1968. CBS 7:00PM. I started college in September 1967, so really all of my adult life I have been a fan of 60 Minutes. Now that I live in Arizona 60 Minutes comes on at 6:00PM MST. This is a little hard to get used to, sort of have to plan dinner hours and family time around it. It becomes even more complicated when Daylight Saving Time kicks in everywhere, but Arizona(certain areas) and Hawaii. That is the time of year that 60 Minutes conflicts with #blogchat and I have to set the DVR! But this Sunday I was all set to watch 60 Minutes and then sign in to #blogchat. But instead I was so taken by Scott Pelley's report Hard Times Generation: Homeless Kids that I found I just had to take a night away from #blogchat. I invite you to watch the segment here and I'll catch up with you on the other side.

I have talked about homeless children before on this blog. You might remember last July I wrote about Twitter being a fashion consultant; however, I closed that blog by suggesting that we all take time to watch the HBO Documentary - Homeless: The Motel Kids of Orange County. It doesn't matter whether you are in Orange County, CA or Seminole County, Florida, homeless is painful and scary. And even more so, if you are a kid.

It is still All in the Family

If you are wondering what I did after 60 Minutes, well, I'll tell you. I was numb. I had the remote control in my hand and I just kept clicking through the channels until suddenly I came upon an October 1974 episode of All in the Family. It was Season 5, Episode 89 and it was titled: The Bunkers and Inflation (4) (aka Archie's Raise). I stopped and watched. It felt as if I were sitting down with old friends. Here they were dealing with unemployment, a recession, a strike and inflation. Take a few minutes and watch a bit of this episode. Right around minute 6:30 you will see Archie and Edith talking about the economy and being scared. Archie says (thinking about his childhood and hardships): "We were kids, we didn't know any better." Edith replies: "We ain't kids no more." Archie responds: "You're damn right we ain't!"

Hmmm...1974 to 2011. I am wondering how much has really changed in all these years. We have a lot of new technology and social media. But how social are we really? Maybe the biggest change is that now kids know homelessness and hardship when they see it.

I would really love to hear from you. Any thoughts?

[By the way, I can get the #blogchat transcript. @mackcollier is really good about creating it and my other friend @allison_boyer almost always captures the best chat nugget and you can read a few of her observations here.]

#LeadershipChat Meet Gert Boyle

2011-02-22T15:40:00.000-08:00

Image by Jason McHuff via Flickr

Every Tuesday evening 8:00PM EST @lisapetrilli and @swoodruff co-host a live Twitter chat called #leadershipchat. It is always an interesting exchange. Tonight they plan to talk about The Accidental Leader. This chat may deal with political leaders or business leaders, but I thought today might be a good day to introduce my friends to Gert Boyle.

Do you know Gert Boyle? I bet you know her company. Does Columbia Sportswear ring any bells? I would like #leadershipchat to meet Gert Boyle. Her colorful life story reads like a movie script and I hope you will read the full 2003 CNN Money article, but suffice it to say she was a stay-at-home mother and on December 4, 1970, her husband (then President of Columbia Sportswear) suddenly died of a massive heart attack.

"I had to go to work the next day. It was the fifth of December, just before Christmas, and we had all these deliveries to do. I was afraid all the seamstresses would quit. It was hard to find good seamstresses! We had just taken on an SBA loan. The government said that if you don't pay us back, what are you going to give us? Well, my husband had said that we'd give them our life insurance. He was 47! We'd also give them our house, our mother's house, and our beach house. How am I going to say to my mother, "Hey, you know that house you've been living in? It's gone." I couldn't do that. If you stay home and cry all day long, it isn't going to change stuff. And poverty was really not something I was looking forward to. So I went to work."

On January 27, 2011, Gert Boyle, now nearly 87(born around 1924)and still Chairman of the Board, participated in the conference call to announce Columbia Sportswear posting double-digit gains in quarterly, yearly earnings.

Maybe you are wondering why I even know about Gert Boyle. You see I first moved to snow country (read Alaska and then on to New Hampshire) in 1983. Until that time I had never seen snow fall. I had to learn quickly how to dress for the cold and lucky for me it was in 1986 that Columbia Sportswear introduced the Bugaboo Parka (a 3 in1 jacket). The one you see in this photo was purchased in 1986 and you should know that just two weeks ago when the temperature in Tucson dropped to 18 degrees my husband was wearing this Bugaboo Parka.

But there is more to my story with Gert and her son, Tim Boyle. In 1983 they started an advertising campaign: "Before it passes Mother Nature, it has to pass Mother Boyle." It was part of their entire campaign, even on their merchandise tags. It was the sort of campaign that stuck in your head. One day winter 1993 I drove to Attitash Ski Resort to pick up my two sons from a alpine ski racing event. It was a bitter cold day and I had to walk a long way from the car to the ski lodge. When I finally located Aaron and Daniel they were ready to go home, ski bags in tow. We started towards the door when one of them discovered they had picked up the wrong black Columbia Sportswear ski bag. Now you can imagine trying to find the right bag in the confusion of a race day, many little boys and girls all with their black bags. One thing was missing from the bags...an outside clear pocket for a name and address card.

The next day I wrote a letter to Tim Boyle. It was a nice letter, I simply asked him if he were sure Mother Boyle had "passed" on the ski bags. And guess what...about two weeks later Tim Boyle called me long distance, all the way from Oregon to New Hampshire. He liked my letter and he liked my suggestion. He also had a good laugh about how his mother might have reacted to a bunch of little skiers all with the same bag and no noticeable way to easily pick out their bag in a crowd. He said he was going to send my idea to his research and development department.

Columbia Sportswear Company is now in it 73rd year. I am pleased to introduce Gert Boyle to my #leadershipchat friends. Let me know what you think and in the meantime you can enjoy a photo of Dennis and me taken in Butte, Montana in front of the Berkeley Pit October 1997. Dennis is wearing the polar fleece inner jacket of his Bugaboo Parka!

Judy and Dennis October 1997

______________________________________________

Other interesting links about Gert...

Columbia Milestones (Here you can see a sample of one of their ads)
Our Company, Ourselves (April 1, 1998)
Gert Boyle Has a Vested Interest in George Bush's Fishing Fortunes (September 18, 1989)

Witnessing Egypt 2011

2011-02-11T11:06:00.000-08:00

Witnessing Egypt 2011 is remarkable. I know most of us have been following the events on the streets of Cairo for the past few weeks. Obviously social media has allowed us to have 24 hour access to the events. Today, 02/11/2011, will now be a date that we will call to mind for ever so many years. On January 28, 2011, my friend, Allison Boyer, who owns After Graduation and also writes for Blog World, wrote this post Social Media's Role in the Egyptian Protests.

Alli Boyer

It caught my attention. I hope you will read it. It occurred to me that Alli's perspective as a young woman (she is younger than Mubarak's regime) was interesting and hopeful. It made me recall my feelings from some 32 years ago when I was Alli's age and the news about Egypt also brought hope.

Here is my OP-ED...
January 29, 2011

Hi Alli,
I just want you to know that I appreciate you writing about this world event as it unfolds or doesn’t unfold (due to a black-out) in the social media. As you say we can “listen”. And maybe by listening we will take the time to read and learn about the most recent history that has brought Egypt to this point.

I remember distinctly watching as the Camp David Accord was signed by Carter, Sadat and Begin…one week before my wedding in September 1978. While we watched on television, this was before the days that you would run to your phone and call your friends long-distance. Afterall…long distance calling was still a luxury. But we did write letters and I remember receiving one letter from a good friend marveling at the miracle of the Camp David Accord. The actual Israel-Egypt Peace Treaty took affect March 26, 1979, the day stays in my mind as my father passed away the next day.

Thinking back over the past 30 years…Sadat was assassinated by fundamentalists in October 1981, shortly after Mubarak took office and he has remained ever since. Begin’s life history is one that is most interesting. Leaving office in 1983…well time goes on.

I guess what I am trying to say is this: For half of my life, the Camp David Accord and the subsequent treaty helped to keep things just a bit calmer. But it seems that what passed for calm to those of us so far away and wrapped up in our own worlds was not really calm, but simmering, and now we all need to take the lid off of the pot and dare to look inside!

So much to learn…listening is a good beginning.
Judy

___________________________________________
It would be great to hear your thoughts about Egypt now and even then....

You'll Love It At Levitz!

2011-01-22T17:38:00.000-08:00

I originally planned to write this blog two weeks ago, but it so happens that just about the time I was snapping the photos you now see on this post the Tragedy in Tucson was beginning to unfold two miles east of the Sam Levitz Furniture store where Dennis and I were shopping.

So I am here today to share with you a personal story of why I love it at Sam Levitz Furniture. I want to go on record that I personally do not enjoy shopping and I find shopping for furniture to be a very difficult task. In fact I could write multiple posts about my furniture buying experiences. There are questions of style, quality, fabric, leather, pretend-leather, small print, real wood, chrome, glass tops, free delivery, mechanical furniture, stain resistant, size, warranties, guarantees, etc...believe me the list is endless. I am reminded of visiting a friend’s parent’s home. This was about 36 years ago. I was invited for dinner. The parents were both physicians and their home was in Beverly Hills. I walked in and the living room and dining room were furnished with what looked to be expensive patio furniture. I was taken aback...so I said to my friend “I don’t understand the furniture.” To which he replied: “When my parents first married and bought this house they could not afford real furniture. So they bought expensive patio furniture, thinking that as time went by they would move the patio furniture to the patio and buy real furniture. But then the kids came along...and here we are 25 years later!” Enough said.

Now back to Levitz. This story really begins 32 years ago. Dennis and I were newly married and we had just purchased our first home. We needed some furniture so we went to the local Levitz Store. That day we purchased a casual dining set, an étagère and a recliner. (See the slide show) We had the dining set and the étagère for 19 years.(I don't want to talk about the recliner!) For most of those 19 years we never shopped again at Levitz because we did not live near a Levitz store.

In 2008 Dennis and I relocated to Tucson, AZ. The home we purchased has a beautiful large master bedroom suite. We knew we wanted to get a new king size bedroom set. And lo and behold there was a Levitz store a few miles from our home. It is now called Sam Levitz Furniture. We went shopping. We found a set that we loved. Very simple lines, dark wood, king size bed, two night stands, and a six drawer dresser. Furniture was delivered and for six months everything was fine.

Then one day we noticed that the mattress was sagging on one side. We called Customer Service and they scheduled an inspection. Inspector arrived and determined the mattress was faulty. Mattress was replaced. Six month later the new mattress began to sag. We called Customer Service, they scheduled an inspection. Inspector arrived and again deemed the mattress was faulty. Mattress was replaced; however, this time I picked one that did not have a pillow-top.

This past Christmas Eve a piece of support wood on the side rail gave way and three screws holding this support wood broke off. Dennis and I took the mattress and box springs off the bed, moved the bed to the other side of the room and waited until the Monday after Christmas to call Levitz. When I reached Customer Service the lady kindly informed me that the bed was out of warranty, but I pleaded successfully for her to at least send a furniture technician to examine the bed to determine how it might be fixed. She agreed.

In the meantime, I started reviewing my receipts and tags from the original 2008 furniture purchase. I noticed that the king size mattress information indicated that the mattress needs to be supported by five hardwood supports. I looked at our broken supports and realized there were only three!

The service man arrived and carefully examined the bed. He called customer service and described the condition of the bed and what needed to be done to fix it. They indicated that it was out of warranty and they would not approve the repair. I thanked the service man and he left.

The next day Dennis and I went to Northwest Tucson Sam Levitz Furniture store, receipts and photos of the bed in hand. We asked to speak to the store manager. Two minutes later we were introduced to Tom Scott, the store manager. This is where the “guest experience design” began. Tom invited us to sit down at a beautiful wicker patio table set. He encouraged us to tell our story. And Tom listened with big ears. He heard us and we all came to certain conclusions.

It seemed the king size bed had a design flaw - three width support slats instead of five.
The king size bed that had been delivered to us in 2008 was missing the middle head to foot length support slat (which would have been the fourth slat).
It seemed the 2008 delivery team did not notice the missing slats, perhaps there was a parts box missing in the shipment.
The subsequent mattress inspectors did not lift the bed to determine that there was insufficient support.
Levitz no longer carries this bed.
The manufacturer no longer makes this bed.

So now we know the facts, what do we do about it? Given that it was New Year’s Eve Tom asked us to give him a few days. He wanted to review this with his Vice-President on Monday. Good enough for us. We shook hands.

The following Monday Tom called. He was sure he had a solution. In their warehouse they still had queen size versions of our bed and he was going to send out technicians to replace the side rails, add five width supports, and the missing length support. Perfect. On January 7th the technicians arrived, but we had an unforeseen problem. Everything would have worked fine, except the queen width slats were not wide enough for the king bed! The technicians left and we called Tom to report what happened. He asked if he could send out another technician to install non-factory slats. We agreed. But as the technician was finishing up we all realized this just was not going to work. We called Tom and explained the condition of the bed. He told us to simply thank the technician for his help and he invited us to visit the store on Saturday to pick out replacement furniture. He would give us a full credit for our original purchase!

John Russo, Dennis, & Tom Scott at Sam Levitz Furniture

So now you know why I love it at Levitz. On January 8, 2011, Dennis and I went to Levitz and met with Tom. He introduced us to John Russo in sales who took us on a tour of the showroom. When I explained to John that I like really simple lines and wanted dark wood he realized that he should take us into the Gallery at Levitz. He introduced us to Leon Asp an interior designer who showed us the Four Hands Old Java bedroom set. We loved it even though we knew we would have to pay the difference between our credit and price of this set. Before I agreed, I got down on the floor and looked at the bed support system - 10 widthway hardwood slats and two lengthway hardwood slats. SOLD!

I hope you enjoyed this story and my slide show below. I was happy to learn more about Sam Levitz and Levitz’s long history in Tucson. The point of my story is that customer service is a two way street. It is important to be a good customer (save your receipts, ask questions, read) and at the same time the business needs to employ good “listeners”. Tom Scott is a good listener and I like to think Dennis and I are good customers.

Today’s lesson: take the time to state your case and tell your story...before you tweet or blog about a business. There are usually solutions and that is the magic of guest experience design with a community minded corporate citizen.

How about you? Bought any furniture lately?

Together We Thrive - My Perspective

2011-01-13T19:21:00.000-08:00

The tragedy in Tucson began on a beautiful Saturday morning, January 8, 2011. I live in Tucson, Arizona, not far from the now famous Safeway. Gabby Giffords is my U S Congresswoman. That morning I went out to run an errand with my husband, and while we have long "liked" Representative Giffords' Facebook page, we did not know about her planned 'Congress on Your Corner' event. On our second outing of the day we were turned around by Pima County Sheriffs. We didn't know why, but something instinctively felt bad. So we agreed to go home. Within minutes of being home we learned of the nightmare that was unfolding just four miles from our home. Funny, some of my out-of-state friends called or wrote to make sure I was Ok, as they thought this was just the kind of event I would have tried to attend! I do not have to revisit all of this past week, but I was taken by the Arizona Star Tuesday morning headline "Obama Coming Here Wednesday". I read the details: open to the public, free, University of Arizona McKale Center, doors open at 4:00PM.

Cherry St view U of A

I made up my mind that I was going to try to attend this event that was being provided by our University of Arizona. My family supported me in my efforts. My reason for writing today is to give you just one person's perspective of the Together We Thrive Tucson & America Memorial.

Around 12:15PM, Dennis, my husband, drove me the 5 miles to the McKale Center. Upon arrival I was directed to walk to the end of the line. I found myself behind five young adults (two were veterans) - Chris, Tim, Juan, Valerie and Alli. I think it was Chris who determined that we were 3/10ths of a mile from the main door of McKale Center. Would we get in? We didn't know, but we did know that the center holds roughly 14,500 people. Chris did the math and figured we had a good chance, so for the next four plus hours we stood, for the most part quietly, you might even say reverently. Conversation was simple, people introduced themselves to their queue-mates, some people read, some took pictures. We discovered that the college buildings (Steward Building) around us were open and available for us to take turns using restrooms. Imagine...you could take a break, get out of the sun, freshen up and return peacefully to your place in line.

Together We Thrive T-shirt

As the afternoon progressed...volunteers walked the line and gave us guidelines to follow: no purses, no backpacks, photo ID. Surprisingly, people walked the line offering free water! We were grateful and happy. Even the one vendor who sold water was welcomed. At 3:45PM the line started to move. We moved slowly...at this point in the day I kept taking breaks sitting down on the curbside (too many hours of standing in the sun). The volunteers walked the line again only this time they were carrying the now famous T-shirts, navy blue with the logo Together We Thrive Tucson & America. They offered us a free T-shirt. We were stunned. They didn't ask for money, they just said we could have a T-shirt. In fact, we could have more than one if we wanted.

We (Chris, Tim, Juan, Valerie, Alli and I) stayed together. They watched over me, knowing I was at least 35 years their senior. As we approached the ramp to the front door of the McKale Center we were offered Black and White ribbons to wear. These were given to us by the Homicide Survivors Inc of Tucson, AZ. "The white ribbon represents hope for a peaceful nonviolent society. The black ribbon is in remembrance of all who have died as a result of violence." My fellow citizens: men, women, young, old, mothers, fathers, students, handicapped and I were happy to pin the ribbons on our blouses, shirts, coats, hats. We quietly walked up the ramp, willingly emptied our pockets for the security detail, passed through the metal detectors, and solemnly walked into the center to find a seat.

Memorial Program

At this point, I was separated from Chris, Tim, Juan, Valerie and Alli. After all, I only had to find one seat, they, I knew, would want to sit together for this historical evening. I looked up and there in the first row of section 104 was one empty seat. Two young women asked me if I needed a seat. I smiled and nodded yes. Finally, I was in the arena. I was sitting! It was now 5:30PM. Looking down on the main floor I could see all of the media, the University of Arizona's Choir and Symphonic Choir, the Tucson Symphony Orchestra, the podium, and of course the four-sided closed circuit television screen. I realized that my seatmates had programs. I mentioned that I was hopeful I would be able to get one at the close of the memorial. Sweetly the man in front of me turned and handed me an extra program that he had received. We were indeed together for this evening. We were quiet, grieving and breathing a sigh of relief that we were together.

Suddenly, on the television screen we could see Dr. Peter Rhee and his fellow University Medical Center doctors. The only way to acknowledge these medical experts was to applaud them. And so, we applauded. When Justice Sandra Day O'Connor appeared, again we could only acknowledge her with our applause...and the next 30 minutes proceeded...Minority Leader Congresswoman Pelosi, Senator and Mrs. McCain, Senator Kyl, Secretary of Homeland Security Napolitano, U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder, Captain Mark Kelly...all seen clearly on the screen and applauded.

At precisely 6:00PM the Tucson Symphony Orchestra played Fanfare for the Common Man. It is a powerful and appropriate piece. The memorial program continued with a Native American Blessing, our National Anthem, a welcome by UA President Robert N. Shelton, UA Student Body President Emily Fritze, UA student and Representative Gabrielle Giffords' intern Daniel Hernandez Jr. followed by a reading from the Old Testament by Janet Napolitano and a reading from the New Testament by Eric Holder. Did we applaud? Yes, it was our way to come together and touch each other.

Finally, President Obama came to the podium. He began talking to us. We might have been sitting in our living room with a neighbor, brother, uncle. He welcomed us, he introduced us to others, told us about each of our fallen and injured and shared a story of how he had just visited our U. S. Congresswoman and friend, Gabby. And then he said: "Gabby opened her eyes!" And that is when I knew or felt it was true..."together we thrive!" We are not just surviving...going forward we can and will grow and flourish.

For those of you who know me, you know a lot about me. You may know that I once had a private impromptu breakfast with President Jimmy Carter and I once hosted John F. Kennedy, Jr. at our inn. These are personal moments in my life that are memorable and remarkable, but January 12, 2011, I shared a moment of history with my neighbors. The evening ended with a poem To the New Year by W.S. Merwin, U.S. Poet Laureate...

so this is the sound of you

here and now whether or not

anyone hears it this is

where we have come with our age

our knowledge such as it is

and our hopes such as they are

invisible before us

untouched and still possible

Spontaneously, my seatmates, strangers to me, touched my hands and thanked me for sharing the evening. Today I would like to thank the University of Arizona for being there in every way for all Tucsonans during our tragedy, helping us to understand and begin the healing process. Together We Thrive Tucson & America.

As always, I welcome your thoughts, comments, or questions.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Does your front-loading washer stink?

2011-01-06T13:51:00.000-08:00

Image via Wikipedia

Yes, I said "stink". And, I mean "stink" literally. If you don't own or use a consumer front-loading, high-efficiency (HE) washer, then you probably think I have lost my mind. But if you do use an HE washer, then there is a pretty good chance that you know what I am talking about.

About a month ago, my oldest son was standing in my laundry room and he pointed out that there was a strange odor coming from my Frigidaire Full Size Tumble Action Washer (manufactured December 2006). Then he pointed to the mold or mildew that was growing on the "flexible gasket". This was not a good bit of news, but I promised I would check it out.

So my mission started. I Googled "front-loader washer smell" (I was being polite using the word smell as opposed to odor or stink). What do you know? About 39,000 search engine results. Now I knew I had been living in the 'dark' (no pun intended) and apparently had 'grown' accustom to the odor, as all species will do over time.

I now know that this problem is not unique to my brand of front-loading HE washer and this is not a new problem. It has been going on for many years. But what amazes me is that consumers are tolerating what can only be described as a design flaw. Yes, I have now learned there have been class-action suits that have come and gone and been settled for those who were lucky enough to be in the class. But still I want to know why are we not up in arms about this potential health danger lurking in our houses, apartments, dorms, etc?

Let's think about this: home kitchen appliances might include a refrigerator, dishwasher, stove, oven, microwave, washer, dryer, and garbage disposal. Of these, the refrigerator, dishwasher, front loading washing machine and garbage disposal each have some kind of rubber or plastic covered gasket. Of these, how many of these gaskets do you routinely wipe down every day or after each use? You get my point.

For the record, last month I immediately went to ACE Hardware and purchased Iron Out® Washer Magic ($6.99) and Smellywasher.com® Cleaner ($16.99). I read a lot of on-line articles that advised me to clean the washer with a cleaner, wipe the gasket dry after each use, and leave the door of the washing machine open when not in use!

Here is what I know:

In my lifetime I have owned three washing machines, two were top-loaders and my current one, which came with the house, is a front-loader.
I have been doing laundry for 40+ years, I have never had to leave the door or lid of a washing machine open when not in use, for any reason.
My Frigidaire Full Size Tumble Action Washer Use and Care Guide says: "Do NOT leave the washer door open. An open door could entice children to hang on the door or crawl inside the washer. Note: If there are no small children present, leave the door ajar to prevent odor build up and to improve venting of the unit."
HE machines are typically more expensive than top-loaders. Frigidaire front-loaders range from $549-$1149, while Frigidaire top-loaders range from $499-$549.
HE stands for High Efficiency and you must use HE products in a front-loader.
HE products are typically more expensive than regular washing products.
A new gasket costs about $300 installed.
Tide now offers a new product Tide® Washing Machine Cleaner. Three pouches for $7.99, According to ACE Hardware's site this product "removes odor-causing residues that builds up in HE (High Efficiency) machines."
Routine and regular cleaning your HE machine will cost extra money: Hot water, empty load, cleaning product, your TIME.
I live in the desert. Very dry climate, low humidity. Air conditioning pulls moisture out of the air.

This week people are convening in Las Vegas for the 2011 Consumer Electronics Show #CES and I believe that Samsung is there previewing their WF448 Front-loading Washing Machine. Maybe some of my Twitter friends will stop by the SAMSUNG booth and ask about how to avoid front-loading washing machine odor.

I would like to know what you think. Have you had experience with this problem? How did you resolve it?

View of mold growing in the washer gasket!

______________________________________________

I invite you to check out these sites/articles regarding Front-Loading Machines.

The clothes are clean...but what's that smell?

Front Loading Washing Machine Investigation

Mold can be a problem for some front-loading washers - Consumer Reports

The Hidden Cost of Going Green - Wall Street Journal

Christmas Holiday Letter Circa 1921

2010-12-23T13:05:00.000-08:00

The other day I received a phone call from my first cousin Mary Lou Egan Gilman. She was in Tucson for a quick visit. Mary Lou's father (Patrick) and my father (Joseph) were brothers. We have known each other all of our lives and it is Mary Lou and her older sister Bridgie who have researched a lot of our family's history and they even organized the 2006 1st Cousins' Reunion which took place in Great Falls, Montana. While visiting with Mary Lou she mentioned that she has all of the holiday cards that I sent over the past 30 years. Amazing! After Mary Lou left I got to thinking about our paternal grandmother - Mary Ann Ryan Eagen. I wondered if she ever wrote holiday letters. So today I thought I would share with you what I think she may have written in her 1921 Christmas letter. (I chose 1921, as this is the only group photo we have of all 13 Eagen/Egan children.) I hope you will read on...

Enjoy a larger version of the photo by clicking on it!

December 1921

Happy Holidays,

As you can see by the enclosed photo all the children are still here with us in Denton, MT. This has been a pretty busy year for me with the new baby. I think you know William was born October 13, 1920. Can you believe that Martin and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary this past August 20th and Baby Billy turned one on October 13, 1921? Since Billy was #13 ( I am considering it a lucky number) and I turned 42 this past May...I think Billy may be our last. I know when Lester Holt, the US Census taker, was here on January 17, 1920, (Joe and Mary's 2nd birthday) I was just barely pregnant with Billy. I think Mr. Holt would have fainted had he realized that come October there was going to be another Eagen to add to the 69 Main Avenue Eagen residence.

Though the war has now been over since late 1918 the economy is still not good, it seems like another depression. I am sure you realize that when the war started the money which had been invested in the railroad business was diverted to the war effort. Actually the last big project that Martin worked on was putting together several segments of the railroad between Arrow Creek and the Hoosac Tunnel. That project was only about 15 miles from Denton. Martin turned 50 this year, amazing he has been building railroads, in fact managing the business, since 1888 and he has seen a lot what with building lines across the Dakotas and then into Montana. Of course when his brother Jim died in 1911, Martin was really on his own here in Montana. He helped bring the railroad to a lot of the state...Great Falls, Augusta, Lewistown. We were thinking that things might get a bit better when Governor Dixon took office in January of this year. Do you know of Governor Dixon? His full name is Joseph Moore Dixon. He had been a US Senator representing Montana, but then he ran for governor. He is only the 7th governor of Montana. We are hopeful that he will be able to enact some of his reform proposals. Perhaps with a new governor and our new President Warren Harding there really will be a "return to normalcy." At any rate, I was excited to vote for the first time last November and appreciated that Mr. Harding was in favor of women's suffrage and all the children marveled at listening to his inauguration speech over the radio this past March!

Enough about the economy and politics. We now have eight boys (John, Pat, Mart, Jim, Dan, Tom, Joe and Bill), one shy of a baseball team! The older boys, John and Pat (and even Mart) enjoy following the news about Babe Ruth and his home runs, even though the Yankees lost the World Series. Maybe they will do better when the Yankees open their new stadium in the Bronx. Someone told the boys that the Yankees purchased 20 acres in the Bronx for their new stadium. They are also fascinated by all the talk of air travel and learning about the 1st US transcontinental air mail flight this past February. Most of our mail comes in by rail, it is hard to imagine the mail being flown across the country.

I haven't mentioned the girls yet. Margaret, our oldest, turned 19 this year. She has been such a big help to me with the baby and of course, the twins...Joe and Mary. Ann (17) and Ellen (14) enjoy spending time with Margaret. Imagine having three teen-age daughters in the house. Little Vera (6) and Mary (3) are in awe of their older sisters.

John (18), our oldest son, is working as a farm hand. That is why in this photo he is standing behind Pat. When he came home from work we were trying to organize the kids for this photo and he didn't have time to change out of his overalls, so he picked up the baby and ducked behind Pat!

I realize I should stop here and get this letter ready to mail. Also, it is almost time to start dinner. We will have a quiet Christmas holiday. We continue to offer prayers for the wounded war veterans and hope that the New Year will bring good news on the economic front.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year,

Love,
Martin, Mary Ann (Mame), Margaret, John, Ann, Pat, Ellen, Mart, James, Daniel, Vera, Tom, Joe, Mary and Bill

P.S. I hope you like the photo. I also managed to get a copy of the 1920 Census Report(see below)...look at all of our names on there. You can click on either image and they will get larger.

1920 US Census Denton, MT

Tough Times Test the Bonds Between a Town and Its Railroad

Can You Spare 10 Minutes Over the Next 10 Days?

2010-12-10T13:58:00.000-08:00

***UPDATE: December 22, 2010 - ALPENGLOW WON! They are getting ready to go to New York City. Thank you for your support. Here you can watch the video announcing their winning. ***

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

I really mean it: can you spare 10 minutes over the next 10 days to vote for 6 young people and 1 very dear friend of mine (Mary Bastoni-Rebmann)?

Do you have a FACEBOOK profile? Here is all you need to know. DOVE Hair Care is sponsoring a contest called "Brush With Greatness Sing 4 All" - you can read The Conway Daily Sun's story (see page 14) about this Glee Group called ALPENGLOW and how they became one of the four finalists. The Grand Prize is an opportunity to perform the classic Rodgers and Hammerstein song, “My Favorite Things” as the opening act for the world renowned Radio City Christmas Spectacular on December 28, 2010, in New York City.
Now you can go here Dove Hair Care Brush with Greatness, watch their video and vote for ALPENGLOW. Remember you can vote once per day through December 20th. It does not cost you a penny, just 1 minute per day for 10 days.

Can you spare 10 minutes over the next 10 days?

In the meantime, have a laugh enjoy a photo of me (on the left) dressed as a nun. The Mount Washington Valley Theatre Company produced The Sound of Music the summer of 1997. As a fundraiser my friend and I dressed as nuns and sold raffle tickets.

Sister Judith and Sister Lydia - 1997

Just a few of my DOVE products!

Thanksgiving Makes Memories

2010-11-24T09:43:00.000-08:00

Judy's Homemade Apple Pie

If I had to guess I would say that Thanksgiving Day means something different to everyone. It is a national holiday that we are taught to celebrate with our family and friends. But let's face it, not everyone is close (both literally and figuratively) to their family and often friends are not in town or are otherwise busy with their own family. My first vivid memory of Thanksgiving was 1954. I had just turned five and I was in kindergarten. My teacher's name was Mrs. Smith. She decided to produce a little Thanksgiving Play about the Pilgrims and Indians and the First Thanksgiving. Most of the children were cast as Pilgrims. I remember she had a teepee and she wanted to have an Indian Chief, an Indian Brave and an Indian squaw. In a class of about 30, I was the only little girl with black hair...so I became the Indian squaw! Thanksgiving makes memories...

Over the years I have had some wonderful and interesting Thanksgiving Days. My mother was not a great cook, but she made a remarkable Thanksgiving dinner. When we owned our country inn Thanksgiving became a really busy week for us. We would often serve over 50 guests for Thanksgiving. I would try have the traditional menu and add something different every year.

This year we will celebrate Thanksgiving with Aaron and Alli and Dennis' first cousin Ken and his wife Carol. Daniel will not be home for Thanksgiving, but we will be thinking about him.

Today I thought I would share my sister Joann's latest Thanksgiving watercolor and our planned menu (remember Aaron is an Executive Chef and he loves making everything from scratch!).

Thanksgiving Dinner Menu 2010

***

Super Moist, Spiced Rubbed Roast Turkey

Pork and Herbed Apple Dressing

Garlic Mashed Potatoes

Turkey Gravy

Green Bean Casserole**

Sweet Potato Tamales

Cranberry Relish Salad

Homemade Pumpkin Pie

Homemade Apple Pie

Coffee

As I write this, the turkey is in Aaron's special brine, the apples and pumpkin await me, Aaron is reviewing the tamale recipe, and I am going to set the table complete with little printed menus! But really, I want to remember our family members who have passed, our Daniel who lives in Oregon and our siblings and their families that live far away. I want to say thank you to our friends that we have shared holidays with over the years, thank you to our military who serve to protect us and as I whip the cream to dress the pies I will remember fondly my father's usual caution: "Remember, you are making whipped cream, not butter!"

If you find you can't be with family and friends this year, consider volunteering at a local Thanksgiving Dinner for the homeless. Make memories.

By the way, do you have a favorite Thanksgiving Day memory? I would love for you to share your favorite Thanksgiving memory right here. Leave a comment...

**Aaron's recipe appeared in the Arizona Daily Star; however, the journalist mistakenly listed the restaurant owner, Travis Reese, as the Chef. Didn't want you to get confused.

Judy's Homemade Pumpkin Pie

MORNING GLORY Makes Six Memories Rise and Shine

2010-11-20T18:16:00.000-08:00

Over the past few years I have written a number of posts about the movies. Some of my favorites are:

I like movies. This is one of 84 things you may want to know about me. Today I saw Morning Glory. I know, I know, I could have seen Fair Game or Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, to name two, but some days you just need a believable, simple, funny story about what life is like when your 28 years old, optimistic and love what you do!

As I watched Morning Glory I was struck by a number of wonderful memories. It occurred to me I would share SIX of my favorite memories about live television and celebrities:

Live Television is pretty interesting. I think the first time I was on television I was celebrating my 5th birthday. I lived in a small suburb of San Diego and Johnny Downs did a little afternoon show for children. I remember my mother dressed me in my best dress and told me not to talk with my mouth full. I listened very carefully and I only talked with my spoon in my mouth! [See photo-right]
In 1994-1996 I was frequently interviewed on RSN (now called Outside Television) in North Conway, NH, representing The Mount Washington Valley Theatre Company. It never went particularly well. They always seemed to ask questions that were so open-ended I could talk forever. Then it seemed they wanted me to hurry, Let's go to commercial!
In 1996, I went to New York City with my two sisters. They insisted on going to see the TODAY Show. (By the way, the TODAY Show is practically a character in Morning Glory.) It was March and the outside temperature at 6:00AM (the time you need to get to '30 Rock' if you want to be interviewed by the TODAY cast) was 15 degrees. My sisters were determined, we made and wore funny hats that caught Al Roker's attention. So yes, we were interviewed and friends and family across the nation saw the three Eagen sisters live on NBC. By the way, there is a really funny scene in Morning Glory with the weatherman broadcasting from outside - I won't be a spoiler.
Probably the most famous television show I ever witnessed rehearsing for live production was Saturday Night Live. It was 1997 and we were in New York City for Daniel's Bar Mitzvah. Our dear friend, an NBC cameraman, invited us to watch the Friday night rehearsal with Pamela Lee Anderson as the host. That is all you need to know about this experience.

Have you ever watched a television commercial being produced? It is a really interesting process. In 2002 I sent an email to NBC imploring them to save the television series American Dreams. Within minutes a commercial producer was emailing me and asking me to send her a head shot, [see photo right] two weeks later I was in South Pasadena part of a commercial shoot with a wardrobe truck, make-up, caterers, lights, camera action. Yes, indeed, I was seen on NBC during prime time for about eight weeks. Very fun! I thought about this experience today...when Rachel McAdams was producing the promos for IBS' Daybreak.
Finally, I thought back to Summer 2009. Daniel, my youngest son, was in New York to see Waiting for Godot. He had wonderful house seats for the performance and Harrison Ford was sitting right next to him. Daniel was traveling, sans laptop, so he had me write about it here Waiting for Godot on Broadway.

We all go to movies for different reasons. Today I think I agree with Shelley Ross, a veteran television producer, who said this of Morning Glory, "Then again, it’s why I love the movies: so a girl can still dream."

Here's to dreams, Morning Glory...you know who you are! And by the way...when you see Morning Glory let me know what you think. Any fun memories?

My Day With Three Remarkable Non-Profit Organizations

2010-11-15T19:03:00.000-08:00

Some days really are remarkable. Last week I wrote a Webconsuls' post about a new on-line community for non-profit organizations - 501 Mission Place. In my post I commented:

"Let's face it; we are all touched by not-for-profit 501c organizations. Whether you serve on a board, work behind the scenes as a volunteer, or benefit from their continued and varied efforts - eventually not-for-profit 501c organizations impact our lives."

Last Saturday I had the pleasure of coming face to face with three not-for-profit organizations and I am here to tell you...it was a remarkable day.

Meet Amherst College. Amherst is my husband's Alma Mater, Class of 1968. Saturday, November 13th, was Homecoming and they played their long time rival Williams College. This was the 125th time these two colleges came face to face on the football field. It is a long tradition and on Saturday we were invited to watch the game with alumi from both Amherst and Williams. While I can take or leave football (no offense @mackcollier), it is remarkable to sit with Amherst gentlemen from the class of 1950, to meet three young women all Amherst alums now University of Arizona Ph.D. candidates or to enjoy lunch with William Foster, Ph.D. (Williams Class of 1982) who is a fourth generation Williams' graduate. His great grandfather was Williams 1887! Yes, Amherst College is a not-for-profit entity: "Students graduate from Amherst with no debt. Since the 2008-09 school year, students are no longer required to take out student loans as part of their financial aid awards. Amherst is among only a handful of colleges and universities in the country that do not require their students to acquire student loan debt in order to pay for their undergraduate educations." Think about that!

I really couldn't sit still to watch the whole game (Williams 31 Amherst 16), so I decided to walk over to a little boutique called The WEST. I spotted this store as we were finding our way to the Skybox Restaurant. The window displays were filled with holiday decorations and it caught my eye...so I visited The West and found really wonderful items that were on sale. Then upon check out I learned more about The WEST. The West (Womens' Exchange Specialties of Tucson) is a volunteer-run 501 (c) 3 corporation - "each year the profits from our store are given as grants to other local charitable organization, with an emphasis on those supporting women and children." Since 1981 over $2 million has been granted to more than 42 different Tucson agencies. Think about that!

On Saturday evening we were invited guests to enjoy Arizona Opera's production of CARMEN. Arizona Opera performs in both Phoenix and Tucson and we were introduced to Scott Altman, the General Director, by the Costumer Designer, Patricia A. Hibbert. We have known Patty for years, but had lost track of her and she found us in Tucson via FACEBOOK! It was a wonderful evening of opera and we were happy to learn:
"Arizona Opera is a professional opera company, which produces fully-staged opera performances, concerts, an in-school touring production and education and outreach programs that reach over 35,000 school children and adults annually. Founded in 1971 in Tucson, the company has grown to become one of the few companies in the United States to serve multiple cities." Think about that!

As I said earlier: eventually not-for-profit 501c organizations impact our lives.

How about you? Do you work with or for a non-profit? I would love to get your input.What is your favorite non-profit organization?

Watch HBOs WARTORN Veterans' Day November 11, 2010

2010-11-10T18:30:00.000-08:00

...Remembering my Uncle Mike

This Thursday, November 11, 2010, HBO will debut their latest documentary, WARTORN: 1861-2010. I learned about this film almost by accident. I was watching MSNBC's Morning Joe on November 9 and happened to catch an interview with the film's director, Jon Alpert, and what caught my attention was Mr. Alpert's observation, "Everybody might have an uncle who behaved strangely..." (See the interview below)

I immediately thought of my Uncle Mike. Mike was born July 31, 1922 and died February 6, 2001. He was one my mother's two younger brothers. He never married and never had children. He served in the US Army during World War II, but where and how he served I do not know (I have asked myself why I don't know this detail about his life - see my P.S. below). He was raised in Butte, Montana, and I think he had a high-school education.

My earliest memory of Uncle Mike is the photo you see above (click on it-it will get larger). As you can see, the photo is taken in Tijuana, Mexico, 1953. I am the little girl with the sombrero that says "Maria". Uncle Mike is to my immediate right. He was 31 years old and WWII ended when he was 23! You may wonder how we all came to be together on this day in 1953. My father (On My Ass sombrero) had been retired from the US Navy on June 30, 1953, due to a medical disability. Upon his discharge he and my mother set off from Fort Campbell, KY to return home to San Diego, CA; however, we took a long road trip stopping in Montana so that we could visit with both my father's family and my mother's family. My guess is that my father felt some compassion for his brother-in-law, Mike, and invited him to accompany us back to San Diego.

My Uncle Mike did not stay too long with us in 1953. Why? I don't know, but I do think he made some kind of impression on me as a little 3-4 year old. When I turned four my birthday gift was a boy baby doll that I named Michael. And when my brother was born in 1956 I insisted that my parents name our baby brother Michael!

My next clear memory of Uncle Mike is from 1958. I think that the economy in Butte was bad and my parents arranged for my mother's widowed twin sister and her two teen-age sons and her brother, my Uncle Mike, to move to San Diego. The four of them joined our family of six in our three bedroom one bath home. They lived with us for nine months, long enough for my father to find jobs for Uncle Mike, Auntie, and my cousin John and enroll my cousin Michael in high-school. Additionally, my father found a nice home for them to rent.

Now I was older and for the most part my Uncle Mike frightened me. Most weekends we would all get together for dinner and Uncle Mike would "join" us, but he was almost always drunk. He would arrive from the local bar either by taxi or my mother or father would pick him up. Looking back I know my mother and her sister catered to his demands and responded to his demands as only a frightened sibling could respond. In the early years I don't remember anyone ever referring to him as an alcoholic. I don't remember anyone ever remarking that he suffered from melancholia, battle fatigue, combat fatigue, shell-shock, operational exhaustion or PTSD. He was just different. He never learned to drive, but he did like to draw. He called us "Darlin" with a sort of southern twang and if it were early in the day he would always ask us "How did you sleep, Darlin?" Typically, I said "Fine, thank you."

By the late 60's my Uncle Mike, in a drunken stupor, fell and broke his leg. I am told he lay in the curbside in San Diego for a couple of days until someone took the time to notice him. He spent many weeks in the hospital recuperating from the surgery to repair the compound fracture and "drying out." From that point on, I remember he walked with a cane, he could not hold a job, and he lived in a small apartment that my aunt would visit once a week to do his laundry and bring him groceries. He lost most of his teeth because he refused to go to the dentist. He would attend family events very occasionally. His presence at any event provoked tension and we all watched what we said and how we said it, so that we didn't engage his rage.

In 1991 I traveled with my two sons (then 10 and 7) to San Diego to visit my mother. She asked if I would like to visit Uncle Mike. I agreed that we would stop in and take Uncle Mike to lunch. We had a nice visit, with Uncle Mike sharing his pencil drawings with Aaron and Daniel. He gave each of them a drawing. They were genuinely taken by him and his artwork. I still have these drawings tucked away.

Over the next 10 years I saw my Uncle Mike on rare occasions. The years passed, my mother aged and needed to live in assisted living and my aunt's health didn't permit her to physically care for or visit Uncle Mike. He lived in an assisted living/rest home and I know my cousin John visited him almost daily until my Uncle Mike died February 6, 2001. There was no service, no memorial and I don't even think there was an obituary written.

Every year on Veterans' Day I remember fondly my father, my brother Michael and my brother-in-law Phil. Each one a veteran that impacted my life in wonderful positive ways, but this year I will remember them and I will sadly remember my Uncle Mike and hope that we, as a country, will come to terms with what war does to our fellow human beings, to our fathers, brothers, sisters, mothers, aunts, uncles, sons, daughters, husbands, and wives...to our families.

I know this much. I wasn't always a good niece. Fear is toxic.

If you can, tune in and watch WARTORN: 1861-2010. Let me know what you think.
_____________________________________________
P.S. Last night I watched HBO's documentary WARTORN: 1861-2010. Should not be missed. This morning I found an e-mail invitation from Ancestry.com to search military records. I looked up my Uncle Mike's record. It turns out he enlisted October 16, 1945, one month after the war ended! It says for the Term of Enlistment: "Enlistment for the duration of the War or other emergency, plus six months, subject to the discretion of the President or otherwise according to law."

So, I learned a little more about my uncle. It seems he did not serve in combat; however, I have read that PTSD can result from fear of the anticipated. The bottom line is this, I will keep learning.

In My Own Shoes - 10 Toe Tips I learned this Month

2010-10-31T10:50:00.000-07:00

Over the past few weeks I found myself thinking about shoes and feet. Remember...my oldest son's wedding was October 9 and on October 14 I flew to Las Vegas to attend Blog World Expo 2010. These two events caused me to deliberate a little more than usual about shoes, not only because of my own needs but I suddenly became the shoe maven for other members of my family.

Here are my 10 toe tips:

If at all possible avoid getting blisters on both little toes three days before the wedding or any special event.
If you must run a lot of errands in 90 degree weather, park close to your destinations or don't put on the cute Coach platform slip-ons.
If your sister-in-law is traveling to the wedding six weeks after having major foot surgery, remind her that the higher elevation (above sea level) is going to make her foot swell more and she will need to wear her post-operative boot to the wedding. She did and looked great, but she suffered with pain from the swelling.
Think through what dressy black shoes you can wear to the rehearsal dinner when you are still nursing two blistered toes. Going barefoot was the best option!
Do not think for one minute that toeless pantyhose will be comfortable. Believe me when I say that the stitched section that goes between your big toe and index toe feels like it is going to cut right through you. I didn't believe the reviews, but did have enough sense to try them on before the big weekend.
I love my Chocolate Satin Empire Sandals that I purchased on-line from Nordstroms. They matched my dress perfectly, were very comfortable and would have been perfect sans blisters.
Try to remember all the things your mother taught you about wearing good quality shoes. Growing up we didn't have a lot of shoes, but taking care of one's feet was one of the principles my mother taught her children.
I have a feeling my mom might have been ready to scold her three daughters had she lived to enjoy her grandson's wedding. That evening my oldest sister took off her pantyhose and threw them away and my middle sister took off her shoes and threw them away! I only complained about the blisters. I wonder what the clean-up crew had to say that evening? (I have no idea how my brother's feet faired.)
Alli, my new daughter-in-law, had the right idea. She wore flat dressy sandals and danced the night away.
The best option for comfortable good looking shoes to wear to a three day conference in Las Vegas is NAOTS. If you have never tried Naots, think Birkenstocks, only perfect comfort from the minute you slip them on. No break-in time required.

Just for the record, I bought my first pair of NAOTS at Beggars Pouch Leather Shop around 1989. Aaron and Daniel thought it would be neat to buy shoes that are made in Israel. This past month I was happy to find Naots available at Worldly Soles in Tucson.

By the way, this post is not about convincing you to run out and buy a pair of NAOTS. I just wanted to share a good product with you. Have you ever tried them? Do you have any toe tips to share?

P.S. This month I also learned first hand that Shakira performs barefoot!

Good-Bye Mrs. Cleaver

2010-10-18T18:41:00.000-07:00

Image via Wikipedia

When I returned from Blog World 2010 I went out to dinner with my husband. In the middle of dinner he gave me the news that Barbara Billingsley had passed away this past Saturday, October 16. This is sad news; you see if you are a baby-boomer then Mrs. Cleaver was probably part of your life. She first came into our homes on October 4, 1957. I turned eight the next day.

By 1957 my sisters and I already knew Jane Wyatt as Margaret Anderson (Father Knows Best) and Harriet Nelson (The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet) and soon we would meet Donna Reed (The Donna Reed Show). I clearly remember my father saying to us: "Why is Jim Anderson always right?" These were all great shows, but the truth is Leave It To Beaver is the survivor, simply because it was so well-written and in syndication it is still enjoyed by viewers every day of the year.

Growing up I think most of my friends had Leave it to Beaver moments. You know the kind. You've done something that you know you are expressly forbidden to do and then you wait for your parents to discover your transgression. Hmmm, like walking to school as first grader with my two older sisters. Joann decided it would be a good idea to walk through the huge flood channel that went under a major road. It was a shortcut. The next day we were disciplined by our mother who had been informed by a neighbor that he saw us walking through the storm drain! (Our mother did not admit her source for many years...just to keep us on our toes.) Or how about being convinced by your two older sisters that it is a great idea for me an eighth-grader to shave my legs. Within in an hour of being home my mother knew what had occurred. When I queried her about how she figured it out, she explained: "Judy, your blue jeans are rolled-down and there are mysterious blood spots on the bathroom floor."

Today we talk about Seinfeld, Everyone Loves Raymond, or Friends moments, but I have to say that I still will recall Leave it to Beaver moments. A month or so ago, Jorja White came home to find that her youngest daughter had cut her own hair. When she questioned her husband had he noticed that MH's hair looked funny, he said he hadn't noticed. I reminded Jorja of the Leave it to Beaver episode "Beaver gets a haircut." The clip below doesn't show Mrs. Cleaver's reaction. But it will give you a sense of how clever Leave it to Beaver was...

Here's the thing: I never met Barbara Billingsley. She was really my mother's peer, born in 1915 just two and half-years older than my mom. Like Barbara my mom had blondish hair and blue eyes; however, she didn't wear pearls and pretty dress to clean the house. But my mom liked June Cleaver, she enjoyed watching the show with us and I am sure my Mom and Dad were happy that we learned a lot about life by sharing one-half hour per week with the Cleavers.

Tomorrow I will be back to report on #BWE10 (Blog World Expo 2010) but just for tonight I want to say good-bye to Mrs. Cleaver and I want to share with you one of my favorite photos of my mother. Here she is at a baby shower given in her honor in May 1956. She is pregnant with my brother and I don't think she ever looked more radiant. (By the way, she only had two maternity outfits - this very fancy one, a more casual navy blue outfit. Day to day she wore wrap-around house dresses.)

A Child of Mine Celebrates His Marriage

2010-10-12T13:23:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know I have been so out of touch lately...but I have been busy turning the lens on my family. You see, as many of you know, my oldest son, Aaron, married Alli Gubanich this past Saturday, October 9, 2010!

This celebration of life was complete with multiple generations: a grandfather, parents, brother, sisters, aunts, uncles, first cousins, second cousins, third cousins, friends...all witnessing the beginning of a story. Over the next few weeks I will try to put together a photo album, but today I just wanted to share a few photos and a little clip of Aaron and me dancing.

Meet Mr. and Mrs. Aaron Helfand. It just seemed right that my toast to them was a quote from Donald Miller's A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. It went like this:

" 'People love to have lived a great story, but few people like the work it takes to make it happen. But joy costs pain...We have to get up off the couch and turn the television off, we have to blow up the inner-tubes and head to the river. We have to write the poem and deliver it in person. We have to pull the car off the road and hike to the top of the hill. We have to put on our suits, we have to dance at weddings.'...Many happy stories end with a wedding and a feast…tonight may your story begin with a wedding and feast!"

Aaron and I danced to Carole King's "Child of Mine". Do you know it? The lyrics are really wonderful.

Although you see the world different than me
Sometimes I can touch upon the wonders that you see
All the new colors and pictures you've designed
Oh yes, sweet darling
So glad you are a child of mine

Child of mine, child of mine
Oh yes, sweet darling
So glad you are a child of mine

You don't need direction, you know which way to go
And I don't want to hold you back, I just want to watch you grow
You're the one who taught me you don't have to look behind
Oh yes, sweet darling
So glad you are a child of mine

Child of mine, child of mine
Oh yes, sweet darling
So glad you are a child of mine

Nobody's gonna kill your dreams
Or tell you how to live your life
There'll always be people to make it hard for a while
But you'll change their heads when they see you smile

The times you were born in may not have been the best
But you can make the times to come better than the rest
I know you will be honest if you can't always be kind
Oh yes, sweet darling
So glad you are a child of mine

Child of mine, child of mine,
Oh yes, sweet darling
So glad you are a child of mine

Child of mine, child of mine
Oh yes, sweet darling
So glad you are a child of mine

For fun, my brother-in-law, Marc Rubin, used his Flip Video Camera to film Aaron and me dancing! Enjoy!

My thanks to all who made this day come together filled with good memories and love, particularly my husband, Dennis, and our younger son, Daniel.

I would love to hear from you. Let me know what your thoughts.

Too Busy to Write? My September 2010 Review

2010-10-01T07:35:00.000-07:00

As usual, today Chris Brogan's post "The Discipline to Write Daily" was thought provoking and it reminded me that during the month of September 2010 I did not publish one single post here on my OP-ED page. This is not to say that I was on total radio silence for the last month, but just active writing for Webconsuls, working with our clients, commenting on others' interesting posts...and oh yes, getting ready for my oldest son's wedding which will take place October 9. We are now eight (8) days and counting for the wedding and that means seven (7) days and counting until Dennis and I host the rehearsal dinner at our HOME! (I am still dusting...)

Today I thought it might be fun to point you to some of my favorite September reads. If you read these posts, you will see I left a comment, so take a few minutes and scroll through the comments, you will learn a lot about people.

September 1, Chris Brogan wrote about "Selling Wool or Yarn" ---I have done both!
September 8, Ridgely Johnson talked about "My Kindle, My BFF" --- I don't have a Kindle.
September 16, I published "Rose Knows What to Do When Novelty Wears Off" --- A lot of people enjoyed meeting Rose!
September 17, Allison Boyer writing for Blog World chatted about "Twitter Chats: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly" --- for those who join in chats this is a great primer.
September 22, John McLachlan asked "Why Blog?" --- Why indeed?
September 22, Jorja White talked about "Empathy 101 and Adam Braverman" --- Jorja is busy with family and writing an e-Book, but on September 29 she did a follow-up "Misunderstanding and Adam Braverman"
September 22, Julien Smith wrote "Your Happiness is Not Your Own"
September 23, Lisa Petrilli talked about "How I am Measuring My Blog's Summer Harvest" --- I was honored to be mentioned by Lisa.
September 29, Chris Brogan started an interesting discussion "How Not to Have Mind Numbing Office Meetings" --- to which I commented...

Chris,

I have known some employees/workers who just love meetings. You know why? You can easily fill up your whole "workday" with meetings and not open your brain or your mouth. I promised on Twitter that I would give you a couple of funny meeting anecdotes, so here you go.

I was a banker for many years. In the old days, many banks were required to have standing committee meetings for things like commercial loan applications, directors and officers, etc. One day I realized that I was going to be in three consecutive meetings with just a 30 minute lunch break. It was a cold winter day in northern New Hampshire (Littleton). The meeting room was cold and uncomfortable. So during the break I walked across Main St into a wonderful store and purchased a Lanz of Salzburg flannel nightgown. I went back to the bank, put the nightgown on over my wool business suit, walked into the empty room and waited. The rest of the "committee" arrived and it took 20 minutes before the bank President looked at me and started to crack up with laughter. I told him I was preparing for a long cold day into night. The meeting was wrapped up quickly.

Many years later I was working as a Senior Business Analyst on a high profile project for a casualty and property insurance company. The CTO was directly in charge of this project, even though there was a "project manager." The CTO had a habit of answering many direct questions by saying: "We'll see." I must add that when we had our weekly project meeting on Friday mornings we each had name cards, so one day I created a name card with the name "Will Cee" and placed it at the chair next to mine. The meeting started and about 15 minutes into the "agenda" the CTO asked if Will was coming to the meeting, to which I responded "We'll see!"

In closing, I will be pretty busy over the next few weeks. Don't worry, I will take plenty of photos. And, don't forget I will be meeting some of you in person at Blog World Expo 2010.

In the meantime, you can enjoy my wedding photo album that covers family weddings from 1901 through 1978.

Blog Archives are your Hope Chest

2010-08-24T06:24:00.000-07:00

Mack Collier

Do you have a blog? If so, are your previous posts archived and accessible as a reference for your readers? Maybe you remember meeting Mack Collier when I wrote about #DellCAP. Mack Collier is also the standing host and moderator for the Twitter #blogchat. Some weeks Mack will tweet that he is looking for a #blogchat topic. August 22nd's tweets went like this:

@mackcollier Thinking of discussing posting schedules for #blogchat tonite, sound good or do y'all have another topic you'd rather discuss? 9:42 AM Aug 22nd via TweetDeck
@judyhelfand @MackCollier pros and cons of archive lists. It doesn't have to be a full time topic, it is a question. #blogchat 9:46 AM Aug 22nd via web in reply to MackCollier
@mackcollier @JudyHelfand I like that, maybe 'Maximizing your sidebars', what content to include, where to position it, anyone else like that? #blogchat 9:48 AM Aug 22nd via TweetDeck in reply to JudyHelfand

@mackcollier Tonite's #Blogchat topic is managing and maximizing your sidebars - http://bit.ly/bJ7qxU 10:12 AM Aug 22nd via TweetDeck
@mackcollier BTW @JudyHelfand thanks for suggesting tonite's #blogchat topic, I've got a free pass for you to #Optsum if you want it, just email me ;) 10:13 AM Aug 22nd via TweetDeck

@judyhelfand @MackCollier glad U like the idea -sidebars-archives. Yesterday I visited 2 blogs looking 4 1 or more old posts- no archive list! #blogchat 9:55 AM Aug 22nd via web in reply to MackCollier

By 12:55PM, Mack had published a blog post #Blogchat topic for 8-22, Managing Your Sidebars! announcing the topic. The rest is now history.
-------------------------
I would expect by now you want to know why I asked Mack to discuss archives and maybe you want to know why my post today uses the analogy of a hope chest.

My mother had a hope chest. It was a Lane Cedar Chest. I once asked my mother how she came to have her cedar chest and she proudly announced that my father bought it for her when they married in 1942. According to a 1942 ad a new Lane cost $29.75! I suspect that many of your mothers had a hope chest or cedar chest, but my most vivid memory of this chest is that it held my mother's keepsakes. I know this because when my two older sisters and I were young we would love to wait for our parents to go out on a date and then we would open the cedar chest and carefully read my father's love letters to our mother, we would try on wonderful little pieces of jewelry (gifts sent by my father to my mother during WWII and the Korean War), we would carefully touch clothes and other keepsakes. These items were part of the family archives and each item was part of a story. As a very young girl I never took the time to read my father's military records, but I learned much later that my younger brother had often visited the cedar chest when he wanted to learn more about our family. Both of my parents are gone now, but after my mother passed away in 2006 I met with my sisters to go through the cedar chest. We each took some things as keepsakes and my middle sister's youngest daughter now has the hope chest.

In my August 9 post I introduced you to Ridgely Johnson. On August 11 I went out of town for a few days. I traveled with my laptop, but I really wasn't on-line much. Once I returned I took a few minutes to catch up on blogs that I try to read on a regular basis (see BLOGS Judy Reads in the right sidebar). I was "curious" why Ridgely had not published a post since August 10. A few more days went by and then my intuition told me I should send an email to see if Ridgely were ok. But I didn't. Then on August 20 Ridgely posted "I hit a bump..."

Over the weekend I tried to find one of Ridgely's previous posts and then I tried to find one of Jorja's (our mutual virtual friend) previous posts, but neither Ridgely nor Jorja's blogs has an archive feature. Thus my reason for asking Mack about the efficacy of an archive feature.

Here are some final thoughts about archives:

Make them available for your readers, they may want to link to a particular post!

No room on the sidebar - make an archive page.

Short of sidebar space, use a pull-down box for your archives

@designmilk I say remove tag cloud and blogroll - add archive links and popular posts. Use your sidebar to drive traffic to your best content

@KseniaCoffman Use archives in sidebar: shows how frequently content is updated (& for self motivation)

@BabsSegal [archives give] Insight into how long you have blogged

@MackCollier I have an archives section because I know SOME of my readers get value from it, I personally don't get much

@BabsSegal I use archives daily for many reasons. Years of posts. Make me want to dig in on other's blogs. On my own I re-tweet.

@SbuxMel Agree with many comments abt monthly archives. They can show off that a blogger is persistent w/his or her blog.

@SmartIncomeBlog If you have good content, people WILL read your archives

Your archives have value to your reader, to your clients, to your company, to yourself. They tell your story. Take care of them as if you were saving them in a hope chest. You won't be sorry.

Let me know what you think. Do you use blog archives? Your ideas are appreciated.

Today, I am dedicating this post to Ridgely, wishing her good health and better days. Here is a photo poster I made of Jorga and me giving Ridgely a virtual hug, savoring it beyond the pale!

84 Things You May Not Know About Me!

2010-08-09T07:48:00.000-07:00

Ridgely Johnson

Meet Ridgely Johnson. She writes a blog called Savor the Ride. This is the first time I am featuring Ridgely on my OP-ED blog; however, she and her blog were the inspiration for a May 31, 2010, post I wrote for Webconsuls: Bystander Effect on Broken Blogs and Websites.

Jorja White

Do you remember Jorja White? I introduced you to Jorja in July when I wrote about Peaks and Valleys. I actually met Ridgely because Jorja re-tweeted one of Ridgely's tweets, thus the Webconsuls' post. Since that time, Ridgely, Jorja and I have become "friends" and we often talk about how some day we will meet in person and sit on a porch and get to know each other.

About a month ago Jorja wrote a post: 84 Things, she followed up by writing a post about Why Lists are Good, then she took it step further and convinced the author, Theo Nester, to write a guest post 84 Things from Theo. This past week Ridgely wrote her own list of 84 Things and she coaxed me to write a list of 84 Things You May Not Know About Me. Here is my list:

1. I was born in San Diego, CA.

2. I have lived in five of the 50 states, CA, TN, AK, NH, and AZ.

3. I am 100% Irish.

4. My maternal grandparents emigrated from Ireland; my paternal grandparents were 1st generation Irish Americans.

5. My father was one of 13 children, my mother was one of four.

6. Both of my parents were fraternal twins, they each had a twin sister

7. I have two older sisters and one younger brother.

8. I went to an all girls high school, I graduated in 1967.

9. I was the high school ASB president.

10. All of my high school awards were for science. 1st place Biology, 2nd Place Chemistry, Greater San Diego Science Fair 1966, 1966 Ford Future Scientist of America.

11. I moved to San Francisco late summer 1967!

12. I attended University of San Francisco, just across the panhandle from Haight-Ashbury!

13. I love San Francisco, I do not like vegetables.

14. I love New York City.

15. I met my first husband when I was 13, we married in November 1968, we were 19!

16. My first husband and I divorced in late 1974. The day he left I learned how to drive a manual transmission.

17. I completed college at California State University, Los Angeles. 1974

18. I have a degree in Sociology, with an emphasis in Social Welfare and Corrections.

19. I have never been a social worker or a corrections officer.

20. I once met with the U.S. Navy recruiter, that same summer I was recruited to be a community organizer for Cesar Chavez. Cesar Chavez was born in Yuma, AZ.

21. I was inducted into Alpha Kappa Delta, somewhere packed away is a certificate!

22. I have never had a manicure.

23. I have had two pedicures.

24. I can watch certain movies over and over again.

25. I have very curly hair…especially if I live in a humid climate. Some days I like curls, some days I don’t.

26. I met my husband Dennis at Oakwood Garden Apartments in 1977, March 5. I was paying my rent.

27. We were married September 23, 1978.

28. We have two sons, Aaron and Daniel. I write about them quite often.

29. I like to take photos. I have a lot of photographs.

30. I was one of the high school photographers; I worked on the school annual(s).

31. One of those annuals is now available on Classmates.com.

32. I ran the darkroom for Cal State University Los Angeles daily college paper, The University Times. 1973-1974, circulation 30,000.

33. I love to smoke, but quit smoking the last time on March 26, 2009. Too expensive!

34. I do not like camping of any kind. Almost died too many times.

35. Though I grew up in San Diego, I am not very fond of water. Almost drowned too many times.

36. I took piano lessons.

37. My last piano recital was 1962. I played the Warsaw Concerto, from memory.

38. I always like to have a piano in my home. My husband is a very good pianist.

39. For my first job I was a hotel maid, summer 1968. I went to work for Wells Fargo Bank in January 1969.

40. I was an Assistant Vice President for Crocker National Bank and a Vice-President for Indian Head Bank North/Fleet Bank

41. I was once featured in a TIME magazine ad.

42. My husband and I owned and operated a country inn in the White Mountains of New Hampshire from 1986-1997. The inn slept 120. From 1939-1949 the Inn was owned by Babe Ruth's daughter, Julia Ruth Flanders Stevens. Julia (Judy to her friends) would come and visit us and gave us the guest book that her father signed when he stayed at the inn! Julia Ruth Stevens lives in AZ.

43. For some reason I have met a number of famous people.

44. Richie Havens.

45. Dallas Taylor (drummer for CSNY – Woodstock)

46. Congressman Don Young (Alaska), Senator Ted Stevens (Alaska), Senator Frank Murkowski (Alaska) been to his home, Governor Tony Knowles (Alaska) Governor Sheffield (Alaska)

47. Had private breakfast with President Jimmy Carter in the first class lounge of Alaska Airlines. Actually the secret service and Aaron and Dan, then 4 and 1, were with me.

48. Chatted with Johnny Carson in another first class lounge, he gave me his autograph.

49. I like traveling by train.

50. I learned how to create stain glass artwork. I like it a lot. I am not an expert.

51. I like writing my yearly holiday letter. Friends and family will call me if it is late!

52. I did 20+ performances of the play “Love Letters” by A. R. Gurney. I played the part of Melissa Gardner; my husband played the part of Andrew Ladd.

53. Met Pamela Anderson Lee and Tommy Lee. She was hosting SNL. Dennis' boyhood friend was a cameraman for NBC, invited us to rehearsal. My husband, our two sons and I were the only people in the audience.(Oh, yes, Father DeGagne was also with us.)

54. I like to cook. I was the dinner 'chef' for about four years at our country inn.

55. I make great pies.

56. I make great brisket and I am a pretty good project manager.

57. I converted to Judaism in 1979.

58. I served on the board of directors for the Mount Washington Valley Theatre Company. It is real summer stock.

59. I once attended Strawhat auditions in NYC. I was not auditioning…but casting.

60. I wear glasses, have since 7th grade. I am near sighted. I am also left-handed.

61. I know how to sew. I have my mother’s original sewing machine.

62. I also have the Singer portable that my first husband gave me for Christmas 1969.

63. Had dinner with Roy Scheider in Alaska. My husband was on the board of the Light Opera Theatre and Mr. Scheider came to a fund raiser. He was very nice.

64. Once accompanied Congressman Mo Udall to Prudhoe Bay. 1983

65. I now live in Arizona, the home state of Mo Udall.

66. I was once interviewed by Al Roker. My two sisters and I stood in 15 degree weather outside the TODAY program. Al couldn’t resist us. We were wearing funny hats!

67. I once made a television commercial for NBC’s hit show American Dreams.

68. I served on the board for California Repertory Theatre.

69. I met Richard Carpenter (The Carpenters)…his season ticket was next to mine at the Richard and Karen Carpenter Performing Arts Center at California State University Long Beach.

70. I really love Broadway musicals, but I cannot sing.

71. I have raised puppies, pigs, sheep and one lovable Jersey cow, Sarah Louise.

72. I have had many dogs. Queenie, Lady, Tango, Sasha, Benjie, Maggie, Juneau, Max…and now TOBY. Toby is a not so bright basset hound. Never again. Farm animals are easier to tend than dogs.

73. I met Bobby Unser, Dan Gurney and John Peterman (the real Mr. Peterman, of Seinfeld fame). I have Peterman's autograph on one of his catalogs!

74. I love my husband…but he usually says I have him packed and ready to go.

75. We have moved a lot in our married life. By choice… every place interesting.

76. I am a poll worker, since 2000.

77. I have never served on a jury.

78. I have only been called for jury duty once in my life. That was in NH and I was dismissed because I knew all of the policemen from our small town.

79. I like listening to the news. I have been on the news in AZ twice!

80. I was a substitute teacher in New Hampshire.

Judy and JFK, Jr March1991

81. John F. Kennedy, Jr. stayed at our country inn in March 1991. He came with his fraternity brother to ice-climb. There were 100 other people at the inn; no one, except me, recognized him! The greatest compliment was he tried to return the next year, but we had no vacancy.

82. In 1983 I once spent a day on the Ocean Odyssey. I was four months pregnant and had to reach this mobile drilling rig in the Gulf of Alaska by helicopter. Until this year, I never thought about how dangerous this adventure might have been.

83. I do believe my father was one of the nicest people I have ever met. He had loving eyes and enjoyed telling stories.

84. I can write 83 stories based on these aforementioned 83 things that you may not have known about me me.

Well, nothing very remarkable. Right? But maybe you have learned a little more about me. I must also say that I like Ridgely and Jorja. I am glad I met them. I learn from them most every day and they make me laugh. Here are a few photos to go with the list.

Let me know what you think about my list. I would love to hear from you and maybe you will write your own list.

Aboard the Ocean Odyssey, 1983

My Front Porch waiting for Ridgely and Jorja

A wedding gift for the President's daughter

2010-07-31T15:46:00.000-07:00

Saturday mornings are a good time for memories. Today while watching news coverage of Chelsea Clinton's wedding, I was taken by a segment on Luci Baines Johnson's wedding, August 6, 1966.

Yes, it was 44 years ago this week that I was given my first official assignment as Associated Student Body President of Cathedral Girls' High School, San Diego, CA. It was July 1966. President Lyndon Johnson's 19 year old daughter was getting married, having converted to Roman Catholicism just the summer before on her 18th birthday, Luci was marrying Patrick Nugent, a Roman Catholic. Rest assured I did not know Luci, but my school principal and the new Bishop of San Diego, Francis James Furey (this photo is Bishop Furey accepting the Mass offering from me, 1966) thought it would be a nice gesture for his Catholic girls' school to send a wedding present to the President's daughter, a young Catholic woman. My difficult task was to not spend a lot of money and to find present that would represent San Diego. To tell you the truth even today, if you asked me to send you a gift that "says" San Diego I wouldn't know what to buy.(Of course you know if I were in San Francisco I would buy Ghirardelli chocolate, sourdough bread or a great photo of the Golden Gate Bridge.)

I actually made my way to an interesting candle shop. This shop was/is located in what is now referred to as Old Town San Diego. I found a beautiful candle and wrote, what I am sure was, a "touching" letter and sent it to Luci. On August 5, 1966, (the day before her wedding) Luci Baines Johnson signed a thank you letter to me. It is pictured here. The return address was simply The White House and the 1st Class postage was five cents!

Later today Chelsea Clinton and Marc Mezvinsky will celebrate their marriage. Here you can enjoy a NBC News walk down memory lane of other First Daughters who shared their weddings with us.

To Life!

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Do you have memories of the weddings of President's children? I would love to hear from you.

Twitter: A Wedding Fashion Consultant and So Much More

2010-07-26T07:43:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while this blog is not an OP-ED, but instead a vehicle to share some fun interesting sidebar information about social media and how they can impact our everyday lives. A few weeks ago I told you about how Facebook led me to find some lost money - Escheatment!

Now let's talk about how Twitter became my wedding fashion consultant. This Saturday I was trying complete my mother-of-the-groom ensemble and I half jokingly tweeted to Chris Brogan:

"@chrisbrogan I keep hoping 1 of ur commenters will tell me where to buy a chocolate brown jeweled evening purse for my son's wedding!"

Before you stop reading or chalk me up as totally nuts, let's face it: a wedding is almost always a very social event and nowadays much of the planning, purchasing, shopping, dreaming is done on-line...so why not ask a person like Chris Brogan (who has 144,849 Twitter followers) to put the call out for a very specific accessory?

Image by thekenyeung via Flickr

Aaron and Alli became engaged on October 15, 2009. Want to know where I was when this happy event occurred? (I am going to tell you anyway.) I was in Las Vegas attending Blog World New Media Expo 2009, where I first "met" Chris Brogan. A few days later Alli's sister set up and shared a Google document and both families having been going strong ever since.

Now back to Twitter and my wedding ensemble. Alli asked me to wear a chocolate brown gown. She is using all deep fall colors (a variety) for the wedding and she thought I would look great in chocolate brown. I love the color (it is the new black, you know), so after first attempting to find a great dress locally I decided to go on-line to Nordstrom's Wedding Shop. It is a great site, allowing you to shop head to toe by gender, wedding role, wedding style, fabric color, price ranges, etc. So I found the perfect dress for me, the shoes, and at the local Macy's I found my chocolate colored undergarments! But I could not find a chocolate colored evening bag.

Then, as I said, on a whim it occurred to me to tweet out to Chris - remember not only does he have a lot of followers, but some "people" (shoe and purse manufacturers) follow him only because his last name is BROGAN which means "heavy, sturdy shoe" (Irish-Gaelic origin). My tweet caught Chris' fancy and he tweeted the following message:

"chrisbrogan Fashionable types: @JudyHelfand needs a chocolate brown jeweled evening purse for a wedding. Any ideas?"

Magically, twelve women tweeted back. They offered great sites and interesting solutions from knitting my own bag to buying a satin chocolate bag and decorating it myself. Here are links to my favorite suggestions:
Brown Satin Evening Bag with Beaded Bow
Vintage Brown Zebra and Jewel Evening Bag
Brown Satin Evening Clutch Purse Handbag
Carlo Fellini Monaco

Carlo Fellini Megan

Carlo Fellini April

Thank you, Chris Brogan, and thank you to Chris' Twitter followers. I now have great purses to choose from and I got to meet a lot of nice people in the process. I hope my readers will let me know which purse you like best. Leave a comment with your selection.

Before I hit the "publish post" button, I want my readers to know that this post isn't really about a $50 satin purse. This post is about the power of "social media" and how it can spread the word about real issues. Real issues like the reality of people in the the United States trying to survive this recession. Here are just a few examples:

HBO Documentary: Homeless: The Motel Kids of Orange County

America Now on DATELINE: Friends and Neighbors

Levi's Go Forth Project: Braddock, PA

In the meantime, enjoy this photo of Dennis and me. Our wedding day September 23, 1978. Dennis wore chocolate brown!

Man on the Go Listens With Big Ears

2010-07-18T06:46:00.000-07:00

Image by Michael Mistretta via Flickr

This past May Chris Brogan launched a new travel blog: Man on the Go. Have you seen it? If you follow Chris on Twitter or read Chris Brogan, then you know Chris travels a lot: long trips, short trips, by plane, by train, by auto, regionally, national, internationally, with business associates, on his own or with family and friends. Chris will stay in touch, via twitter, with his followers, so one can get drawn into the drama of the travel day. This can include delayed flights, cancelled flights, lost phones, noisy children, noisy adults, rain, heat, etc. At some point Chris decided to share via a blog (really more a video blog) travel tips about hotels, restaurants, airlines, travel gear, etc. He also recruited some of his friends, business associates, and travel industry employees to be guest bloggers on Man on the Go.

Here is what I like about Man on the Go: none of the bloggers (including Chris) claim to be experts, but they've logged a lot of hours in their particular field (hotelier, restaurateur, health practitioner, business traveler or pleasure traveler) and can address the subject in an engaging way. PLUS: if you write a comment, make a suggestion or ask an additional question THEY LISTEN with Big Ears and RESPOND.

Let me give you an example. Recently Chris wrote a post about First Moves When Getting to a Hotel. You might be interested, I was. I wrote a comment that was based on my personal experience and my resume as a former owner/innkeeper. Chris seemed genuinely pleased to read my tip, writing: "Oh, that's a good tip, Judy. Thank you!"
____________________________________
But wait, this week I had a different experience with another TRAVEL BLOG (with slightly smaller ears). I visited this blog because someone that I follow on Twitter is a travel writer. She tweeted about another blog and I thought I would take a few minutes to visit a travel blog that deals with traveling with children. In my mind I said to myself..."I have traveled with children of all ages and by many modes...so let's see what is new!" Imagine my surprise when I got to this blog post and it dealt with a weekend trip to the Mount Washington Valley in the White Mountains of New Hampshire. Yes, the same valley where for 11 years I had owned and operated a country inn that slept 120 guests. So here is what I wrote in a comment to this travel writer/blogger:

"I happened by here today because XXXXXX RT your tweet and I was curious to see your blog. Much to my surprise you were writing about traveling with teens and tweens to the Mount Washington Valley. From late 1986-late 1997 I was an owner/operator of a country Inn/Bed & Breakfast in the Village of Kearsarge, Town of Conway, Carroll County, New Hampshire. Kearsarge is a lovely village northeast of the Village of North Conway, so to speak. It is so wonderful to read your various posts of all the adventures you were able to enjoy with your children. I remember as an innkeeper we would hope that the Boston Globe travel editor or Yankee Magazine would visit the valley…and then wait for printed publications. OMG…if you were lucky enough to be mentioned you had to hope it was good and accurate information."

"I am familiar with the XXXXX XXXX Resort. I remember when it first opened in the late 80s. I know it is a nice setting and they have continued to enhance the property, but I really think if I were traveling with teens and tweens I would want to be staying closer to the center of North Conway Village. The reason I say this is that to be five miles south of North Conway Village when traffic is an issue (or at least it used to be) can be a nightmare with children. If you stay in the center or nearby, the children can enjoy shopping, movies, Conway Scenic Railroad, live summer stock theatre, Arts Jubilee, Mt. Cranmore, Saco River …all within easy walking distance or a quick bike ride."

"Last year I wrote a blog about Mt. Washington. You might enjoy reading it."

I want to be very clear here. Normally when I comment on a blog post I use my full name, my business email address and business website to identify myself. But out of respect for this travel writer, who was clear to point out that her trip had been "arranged" by the Chamber of Commerce, I chose not to use my business email address or website and never mentioned which property I had owned. I didn't insert links to all of the venues I referenced, I simply gave my opinion from YEARS of experience and I offered the link to my post about the one and only Mount Washington.

Imagine my surprise when my comment was "moderated", "edited" AND "published" on a post that I did not comment on. Do you understand what I am saying here? I wrote a comment on POST A and the travel writer moved it to POST D! Here is the edited version of my comment:

"I really think if I were traveling with teens and tweens I would want to be staying closer to the center of North Conway Village. The reason I say this is that to be five miles south of North Conway Village when traffic is an issue (or at least it used to be) can be a nightmare with children. If you stay in the center or nearby, the children can enjoy shopping, movies, Conway Scenic Railroad, live summer stock theatre, Arts Jubilee, Mt. Cranmore, Saco River …all within easy walking distance or a quick bike ride."

The travel writer sent me an explanatory email that said: "Just FYI, I moved your comment to the XXXXXXXXXXX (resort) page and shortened it up a bit. You have a valid point although if you are doing things like shopping and monkey trunks or thinking about canoeing then the south end of the strip is better. We took West Side Road and never had traffic problems if we wanted to get to the center of North Conway during rush hours. I think we only hit one minor traffic jam in 3 days and that was up at the junction to 302 heading south. Thanks for stopping by."
________________________________________________________

Now here is my question to you: Am I being over sensitive regarding this matter? Have you ever encountered something like this? I understand not approving a comment for spamming (with or without links) or questionable language...reject it. But edit? Please, let me know what you think?

By the way, here is a link to a really provocative article Travel (and Writing) Free and Easy.

Escheatment Is Not an Expletive!

2010-07-08T20:36:00.000-07:00

Normally, when I write a post on this blog it is in response to another blog that I have read and commented on. But today I would like to talk to you about that other social media tool, FACEBOOK. Do you have a Facebook account? Do you use it for business or pleasure or a combination of both? Quite honestly, my Facebook account started out as a personal account, but it has evolved over time. Now I find it to be a pretty good way of staying in contact with clients, as well as friends. But all this aside, this post deals with escheatment and how my FACEBOOK "friend" helped me find some very lost money! Do I have your attention yet? Just remember, escheatment is a strange word, but it is not an expletive!

Let me introduce you to Nicole. Nicole and I have known each other for about 10 years. She and I worked together in the IT department of Mercury Insurance Services. The photo you see here was taken at our holiday party in December 2002. Nicole is the sane looking one! But let's get back to escheatment.

On May 14, 2010, Nicole posted the following status on her Facebook page:

"Reminding everyone to search their names on the unclaimed property sites to see if the State is holding funds in your name. Reclaiming is easy and free. Good luck!"

Here is the link she provided: Missing Money Free Search for Unclaimed Property - Officially endorsed By The States and Provinces

I couldn't resist. I checked the site and found my husband's name listed as having funds being held by the State of New Hampshire, we moved from NH in October 1997. I sent a message to Nicole:

"This was fun. I am thinking you are still part of the Escheatment Project! Anyway, it seems Dennis left some money behind in NH. I will keep you posted."

Nicole messaged back to me:

"It is a curse Judy. Everyone I train to take over the darn thing leaves the co or the dept. I saw this topic trending on Yahoo last night and thought I would post the reminder. I see infomercials are trying to sell this as a secret to wealth (you contact owners and charge them a finder's fee). Best of luck to you guys on the journey of reclaiming!"

Here is the bottom line, as you might be able to discern nobody really wants to be assigned to a company's Escheatment Project. It is complex law and each state has their own way of having a company interface with the state's treasury department to account for the abandoned property and to transfer the property from the company to the state. This is a Quality Assurance manager's testing nightmare!

But now many states are participating in this Missing Money site and you can search the database and follow the simple instructions. You never know...Dennis was pleasantly surprised.

Thanks to Nicole and FACEBOOK.

Let me know if you find any lost money and be sure to tell your friends to read this post about ESCHEATMENT! (Who comes up with these words?)

Do You Know Scott Adams?

2010-06-29T07:06:00.000-07:00

You know Scott Adams. He is the creator of DILBERT. A while back I wrote a blog post about Dilbert 2.0 and I said: "Most working people found this cartoon to be really very funny and perceptive, to the point that it was almost as if Scott Adams was secretly infiltrating corporate America to obtain material on which to base his cartoon." It turns out that I wasn't too far off. According to a 2004 Design Boom Interview: Adams "worked at Crocker National Bank from 1979 to 1986, in a number of humiliating and low paying jobs: teller (robbed twice at gunpoint), computer programmer, financial analyst, product manager, and commercial lender."

This past week my friend Lisa Petrilli wrote a three part series called The Introvert’s Guide to Getting Promoted. Do read Step One, Step Two and Step Three. No, Lisa did not discuss DILBERT!

Here's my OP-ED to Lisa's Part One
June 22, 2010

Lisa,

I think if you asked most of my family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances they would probably tell you that I am more of an introvert than an extrovert. On the other hand, once I am inclined to step out of my comfort zone, then I become the go-to person in the organization.

Here are a few things to know about me: My husband and I actually met our current business partner (of 10 years) at an Executive Leadership Training seminar. It was 1981 and both my husband and Dick were part of middle management of Atlantic Richfield Company (ARCO). The training took place at ARCO’s Executive Training facility in Santa Barbara, CA. It was a two week course, with employees flown in from all over the world, the second week of the course they brought in the spouses. Yes, indeed, I needed to be trained on how to be a Corporate Executive’s wife!!!

I am familiar with the Myer-Briggs Type Indicator. I worked for company that actually made all of their new hires take this “test.” It sometimes bothered me that the test results could control your chances of promotion for the rest of your corporate career with that company. I think sometimes corporations don’t realize that not everyone wants to listen to or follow an extrovert.

But here is my best life story about how I made myself visible in an organization. It was 1978. I was a consumer loan officer for Crocker National Bank in Los Angeles, CA. I worked as a "floating" loan officer, which meant that I would fill in for loan officers that were going on vacation, sick leave, maternity leave, etc. It was a fun job, I was able to meet a lot of different people and I never got bored. At the time I was assigned to a branch in Altadena, CA. I was filling in for an Assistant Branch Manager who had suffered a heart attack. About five weeks into this assignment the branch was robbed, with the masked bandits jumping the counters wielding sawed-off shotguns and ordering everyone to get on the floor.

After the culprits left the bank it was my duty to call "Headquarters" to report the robbery and to ask for a robbery team to be dispatched to meet with the FBI. As luck would have it, the gentleman that took the phone call was the Executive Vice President – Consumer Lending. I had never met him, but I knew of him.

In my telephone conversation, the EVP finally said to me: "What do you want to do when you grow up?" I responded: "I want your job or I at least I want to work directly for you!"

Within two weeks, he personally visited the branch, sent in internal auditors to check my work quality and then made me an offer to work directly for him. New position: Assistant Vice President, District Retail Banking Specialist. (Before I transferred to downtown Los Angeles, my branch was robbed again.)

I agree; great CEOs are always on a talent search. So you need to know who is in your molecule and who interacts with those in your molecule. Be available to get involved and be supportive. But, as one of our mutual “friends”(Chris Brogan) said: sooner or later you need to "Make the ASK!"
Judy
_____________________________________________________________

Here is Lisa's reply:
June 23, 2010
Judy,
I just know you and I are meant to meet and share all kinds of amazing stories some day! Kudos to you for your smarts and your boldness. As usual, you are way ahead of me – we’ll get to “asking” tomorrow…!

Thank you, as always, for sharing your experiences and insights with me and the other readers!

Lisa
____________________________________________________________

It seems bank robberies can be real career boosters. I am just "sure" I must have met Scott Adams when we both worked for Crocker National Bank. What do you think? Can you share some of your promotion stories?

Don't Break Up Over the Mud Room

2010-06-26T11:58:00.000-07:00

We are back at the Hornby Island home building project today having moved from the perfect kitchen to the Mud Room. I understand that Mud Rooms have become quite fashionable around the country, even in environments that don’t have a MUD SEASON. In Alaska the Mud Season is often referred to as break-up season. (And I am not talking about breaking up with your loved one, I am talking about when the thaw comes and the frozen landscape turns to 12 inches of MUD). I bought my first pair of break-up boots in 1983, just plain black…this is not about fashion; it is about survival. Buying your first pair of break-up boots is a rite of passage. (This photo is of my oldest son and his little friends at the Alaska Zoo, Anchorage, AK-Circa 1983-Break-Up Boots galore.)

My friends, John and Darren, are contemplating the design and what to include in the MUD Room. You really need to read their post and all of the comments they have received, because it seems a good MUD room is worth its weight in keeping your homestead running smoothly. By the way, one friend cautioned them so: "Most important, home design and agreement is one of the most trying occupations for relationships. This is the real testing ground!"

Here's to The Break-Up Room (AKA: The Chesterfield Room)

Here is my OP-ED...
June 24, 2010

Ok, let’s see. I think before I can really weigh in on this, you need to let us know a bit more about your lifestyle and Hornby Island weather.

1. Are there any small children in the family…the reason I ask this, is that sometimes you need to design with different heights in mind. How high to place a hook, how low to set a bench, etc. If small children will only occasionally visit, then it matters not: except for resale.

2. Do you have cats? Some people hide the litter box in the mud-room.

3. Does it snow on Hornby Island? Enough that you might enjoy alpine or Nordic skiing? Ski racks, ski boot placement.

4. Do you intend to have a garden? Do you have deer, moose, rabbits, etc on Hornby Island?

I think the operative word here is ROOM. For two reasons, you want it to be a room-not just a space or section and you want it to be roomy. I think it should have a door that separates it from the perfect kitchen. Here are my thoughts:

• I had forgotten all about life in the North Country. You see, when you live in most of California and Arizona you don’t think about cellars or basements. I have lived with many basements and for the most part found them to be a waste of space, filled with clutter, usually musty, constantly being pumped to remove groundwater or worse. In one home the laundry was in the basement! Oh, my god. It was a granite basement which allowed critters to creep in. My husband adopted a cat to be a mouser, but one day I went down the stairs and there sat the cat staring at the mouse, like Tom and Jerry. You need to face two facts: you are not getting any younger and just because the clothes will magically arrive in the basement via a chute this doesn't mean that you or your guests will not face mobility issues down the road. You don’t want to argue about who is going to go "down cellar" (as they say in New Hampshire). Put the laundry appliances in this ROOM; make sure you have a pull-down ironing board. Remember, if the laundry appliances are in the ROOM, then when you come in from outside soaking wet, you can put the wet clothes in the dryer or the dirty clothes in the washer.

• Let's talk about colorful vegetables – I stopped being enchanted with the idea of gardens when I lived in Anchorage and the moose would graze through the neighbor's gardens. But let's assume you will have a garden. If you plan the ROOM with plumbing, (think laundry) have a potting sink. A restaurant-style pot washer might also be installed to handle large pots and buckets.

• The solution to the dog or your muddy boots is a hose-down area. A ground-floor basin with a drain and a wall-mounted handspray easily accommodate dirty boots, feet, and paws.

• Now about the Freezer. When we moved to Anchorage from southern California, my mother thought we should buy a freezer. Her reasoning was this: "what if you get snowed in and need to survive for days on end". (This from a woman that was born and raised in Butte, MT and had never owned a freezer.) But my husband thought it was a good idea, so we bought a really large chest freezer. It was delivered and moved into our heated garage (you know the one with a drain). For three years the only thing that was ever placed in that freezer was some salmon, that I did not enjoy cleaning. Truth is we never ate the salmon! When we moved to New Hampshire, the first home we lived in had a poured basement (rebuilt farmhouse). The freezer was moved into the basement through the bulkhead door and sat empty for a year. When we bought our Country Inn, the freezer was moved to the country inn kitchen. FINALLY, a legitimate use. But then again we slept 120 guests. A freezer is up to you…but remember if you fill it, be sure to have a generator for power failures, as you can lose a lot of inventory.

Finally, here are some links to sites that offer pretty good information about MUD/UTILITY/PANTRY ROOMS.
This Old House Episode 1 | This Old House Episode 2 | How to Plan a Mud Room
P.S. It seems you have a lot helpers on this. Vestibule is a nice word and for some reason I like Chesterfield Room. (For no reason, I just like the ring of it.)
_____________________________________________________
Here is John's reply:

June 24, 2010
Judy, we can’t believe all your great questions and advice. What a help this is being between you and Susan Davis and the others.

I’ll answer a few of your questions to begin with:
1. No small children unless they visit with someone else so we can probably not worry too much about that. Hooks and benches can probably be at adult height.
2. No cats and not likely to have. I’m allergic to them.
3. Snow. Hornby Island gets more snow than Vancouver which means it gets a few days per year. Nothing to speak of. Occasionally it can get a massive dump and have a few feet around but it usually only lasts for a week or two at the most because it usually warms up and rains. In other words, no winter sports. It’s a damp climate in the winter.
4. We do intend to have a garden and this is something that needs to be designed into the whole property from the beginning. There are a lot of deer on the island (they aren't very big) but they eat anything. All gardens on the island need to be fenced because of the deer. Making something attractive is needed so it doesn’t look like wire everywhere.
The other weird thing is possums. Some idiot brought them to the island to raise in the 80s and they got out and the rest is history. Though Simon, the lab up the road has killed a few in his day, they are around and probably eat garbage and other things. Yuk. There are no other beasts except for the odd bear that swims over once every ten years or, a few years ago a cougar. They end up getting shot and removed, eventually.

Regarding basements. We are not inclined to one unless it's where the water cistern goes or that sort of thing. I’m with you about basements. They collect junk. Ok, the chute idea is out, for sure. I kind of said it for fun, but obviously, it captured my imagination and that of others. It does have an "upstairs downstairs" ring to it though I don't believe we will be hiring maids and butlers.
If you see my mother's comment, she is a proponent of the pull-down ironing board. I like the idea too. I remember how sturdy hers was in our kitchen growing up.

Clearly, the ROOM is getting bigger. We now have washer and dryer, sinks for washing, tables for organizing, a bench, and ironing board, place for boots and jackets and, it could even act as a pantry of sorts with a door to the kitchen. It could also have the hot water tank and electrical panels.

Darren is the real gardener and will truly take a deep interest in this so having things set up well for it would be good.

I LOVE your story about the freezer. The honesty of it is great. It's so funny when you have things that get carted around through your life only for you to find out later that it’s been a waste of energy. It's very much like mental attitudes we carry around through life only to look back on and wonder why the heck we ever did!
We will have emergency backup for the house, but you have me wondering now whether an additional freezer really is worth it. They always seem to be a pit that stuff gets stuck in and never used. We may be better to get a really big fridge with a good sized freezer in it (we have started looking, but that’s another post).
We'll head off now to look at the sites you've recommended. (I have always loved watching This Old House on PBS)
Lastly, I'm intrigued by your Chesterfield Room comment. Very interesting. I thought "Chesterfield" was a Canadian thing only. We always call a sofa, a chesterfield. My mom still has the same chesterfield she got shortly after being married sixty years ago. It's been refinished a few times, but it's in great shape, it's heavy as a tank, and it was a great day-bed for sick kids to lie on.
I guess if we called it the Chesterfield Room, we'd have to add one to the room. Gee, the room keeps getting bigger. Maybe we should just make the whole house one room. Ha ha.
______________________________________________________
The comments, as I said above, continued. They are a must read.

Let me know what your experience is with MUD Rooms. Would love to hear from you.

#DellCAP On-Line Passion Required

2010-06-22T12:21:00.000-07:00

Just about a month ago I was introduced to Mack Collier by Lisa Petrilli. In addition to writing an interesting blog and tweeting helpful information, Mack also runs a Twitter #blogchat every Sunday evening at 9:00PM EST/EDT...and by the way he helps companies understand the "social" part of social media. What I learn from Mack, I in turn share with my Webconsuls' team members and clients. All good. This past week Mack facilitated and moderated Dell's Customer Advisory Panel which took place in Round Rock, TX. Yesterday Mack wrote a blog about this experience: "Teaching a Brontosaurus to run; My review of #DellCAP". I hope you will read it whether or not you are a Dell customer. I took the time to comment to Mack and he agreed to let me share my thoughts here. I now understand the importance of on-line passion!

Here is my OP-ED...
June 22, 2010
Hi Mack,

I enjoyed reading this recap today. I was sort of following you on Twitter last week while you were participating in #DellCAP. I have a couple of questions/observations. But first I want you and your other readers to know a little about my Dell user experience.

First of all, you should know that our small company has been a Dell customer since July 2001. In the past nine years we have spent $12000+ with Dell. We are obviously not their largest customer or their smallest, but maybe we are one of their smaller consistent customers.

Second, when we first started buying from Dell their customer service was excellent and it was provided from staff located in the United States. When it became obvious that Dell had begun to outsource their customer service, we made a conscious decision to purchase Dell ProSup port. We have found if you time your calls just so…you might actually speak to someone in the United States!

Here are my questions/observations:

1. How did Dell define/select its most passionate customers? What were the parameters used to invite these "passionate customers"? Individuals, businesses (large and small), multiple purchases, social media flare, clever complaint letters, clever complimentary letters, etc. It seems that one pre-requisite for being invited as a customer who had had a negative experience was that they "had used social media to voice their displeasure." If that is the case, what about the customer who writes a letter, sends an email, etc, as opposed to blogging, tweeting or facebooking about their negative experience? Does old fashion passion not matter?

2. I am not surprised that #DellCAP participants wanted to see Dell succeed. I think it is human nature that we want our purchase choices to be validated and we want to know there is a viable company to turn to should we experience problems.

3. Has Dell pushed a pencil to determine the "cost" of their decision to outsource customer service? By this I mean, Dell believed or assumed that most customers weren't willing to pay higher prices just to get better service; however, how many customers did they lose as a result of this decision which was based on an assumption?

As a Dell customer, here are few things that Dell might like to know about my user experience:

• Once an order is placed, make sure the sales person is reachable, post sale – prior to delivery.

• The itemized receipt/invoice should have a unit price and amount for each item, as opposed to just listing each item with Unit Price 0.00 and amount 0.00, with the exception of the Tower.

• If a customer has paid by personal check or business credit card in the past, don't make the sales call so confusing that your customer ends up with a Dell Financial Services Credit Card with an interest rate of 17.99%. To add insult to injury, they spelled our business name incorrectly on the account! Don’t worry we paid it in full.

• In days long ago, the new PC came with a wall map size glossy Start Here Set-Up Guide. But our latest purchase came with a flimsy 10 page Setup and Features Information booklet, with a font size of maybe 6. (See photo below)

Well, Mack, I will enjoy following the impact of #DellCAP. I can tell you this; it seems your GUYNamedNathan is enjoying his new Dell notebook: "#DellCAP attendees, if you kept the box to the notebook Dell gave us. It makes a great mousepad for BlueTrack mice."

I know this is a long comment, I am hoping you will not mind if I use it on my Judy's OP-ED blog. Let me know if that would be ok with you.
____________________________________________________________
Here is Mack's reply:

June 22, 2010
Judy thanks for the comment, and it's yours, you can use it anyway you want.

I think with this first meeting, Dell was trying to be 'all things to all people'. I think they wanted to bring in some business customers, and some personal customers. I do think they placed a premium on selecting customers that had either voiced their displeasure or excitement, via social media. My guess is they chose social media because it would be easy to collect a pool of potential participants quickly and easily.

My feeling was that the #DellCAP meetings were extremely beneficial to Dell when it comes to how their customers view customer support, especially outsourced customer support. I don’t think Dell realized how important this was to customers, OR that so many of the participants seemed to be willing to pay more for the computer, if exceptional customer service would be included as part of the purchase.

This was obviously the 'first step' for Dell, and I am sure that they have a ton of tweaks/changes in mind if they continue this effort in a similar form. I can't wait to see what they do next!
______________________________________________________________
Let me know what you think? Do you exercise on-line passion to improve your customer service experience?

Which Set-Up Guide Enhances the User's Experience?

Lisa Petrilli Wants You to Have a Clear Vision

2010-06-16T15:13:00.000-07:00

Lisa can help you define your vision!

I first met Lisa Petrilli on May 14th. She was just launching her new blog C-Level Strategies & Awakenings. I was curious to read her blog and I left a comment and Lisa commented back to me.

Lisa's post this week, The Business-Altering Difference Between Vision and Mission interested me as a business owner and as someone who works with other business owners on a regular basis. I hope you will take a few minutes to read Lisa's ideas. Here is what I had to say.

Here is my OP-ED...
June 13th, 2010

Lisa,

I think I have it: a mission statement is a given, whether it is spoken or not; however, a vision will drive the engine of success.

Now the questions, as I see them, are:

1. Why do people (business leaders) struggle with these concepts and their subtleties?
2. Once they get through the struggle and actually define their vision why are people (business leaders) reluctant to publish their vision statement?

To me it all comes down to accountability and a word that, at best, is fuzzy… vision. I mean if you just take out an ordinary dictionary and look up the word “vision” most of the definitions are filled with verbs like this: sensing, anticipating, hallucinating, perceiving, imagining, discerning, seeing. The word “vision” doesn’t seem concrete.

Maybe if we started very young to think of life with mission statements and vision statements it would be easier for the new entrepreneur to articulate both. I remember being a fairly young executive and we were having a workshop with Human Resources. Someone asked us to write down our five year and 10 year goals. How far do you think this exercise went before the HR person had lost control?

You see, if I state a goal with a vision and I announce it to my world (parents, sibling, peers, high-school counselor, mentor, professors, spouse, business partner, friends, neighbors, relatives), then not only will people know when I succeed, they will almost certainly know when I fail.

This is a scary proposition. Publishing a vision statement forces one to be accountable, for better or worse. Or at least it should.

LG Life’s Good

"LG’s vision is to deliver innovative digital products and services that make our customers’ lives better, easier and happier through increased functionality and fun."

This is a great vision statement, but LG does not always execute the mission to achieve the vision.

I was not having fun the evening I discovered the casing around the refrigerator light was melting and it smelled funny. When I called customer service they demanded that I pull the fridge away from the wall and unplug it. When I questioned why, they said it could start a fire! Imagine if I had not been home. It took over a month for them to agree to fix this 18 month old refrigerator. Mine was not an isolated case and they knew it.

On another note and back to your main topic, last evening I came across a quote:

“Good business leaders create a vision, articulate the vision, passionately own the vision, and relentlessly drive it to completion.”

This quote is often attributed to Thomas Hardy (1840-1928) and also to Jack Welch (1935…)

Do you know who really said it first?

P.S. I would love to feature you and this post on my new blog Judy’s OP-ED.
What do you think of that idea?
_________________________________________________________________
Here is Lisa's reply:
June 15, 2010

Judy,

My concern is that part of what drives this is the very short-term focus on results and the fact that many executive tenures are so short. This may inhibit an ability to think boldly about what the organization can really become if it challenges itself to an audacious vision.

You are also right about fear of failure – if I tell you what I’m working towards and I don’t seem to be making any progress towards that vision will you judge me harshly? Is it safer just to follow the mission and hope it gets me somewhere?

My experience is that a mission with no vision leads organizations to walk in circles…

I love the quote – absolutely embrace it! Thank you for sharing it. And yes, I would be honored to be featured on your blog.
____________________________________________________________
I don't need to know if you own an LG refrigerator, this really is not a blog about kitchens. But if you own a business, will you share your VISION?

Out Beyond the Perfect Kitchen

2010-06-14T14:57:00.000-07:00

A few months ago I had the pleasure of meeting(virtual) John McLachlan. In late April, John and I commented back and forth about him creating a new blog that would chronicle his home-building project on Hornby Island. John and his partner, Darren Bond, launched their new blog Living Out Beyond on May 31, 2010. It is a great read, with beautiful photography, inviting videos, and this is one housebuilding project that you can enjoy...vicariously. John and Darren would like your input, so feel free to get involved. Just recently they wrote "What Makes the Perfect Kitchen?" I hope you read their post and offer your ideas. Here is what I had to say. Their itemized responses to me are in BOLD.

Here is my OP-ED...

June 13th, 2010

What makes a perfect kitchen? Your designer asked you early on: do you live to eat or do you eat to live? To this you answered easily: “we live to eat”...Which is to say, the kitchen is an important room.

I would argue that if possible the kitchen should always be designed for the former, “living to eat”, as it will keep the property more livable and marketable (and yes, I know, you have no intention of selling…but)

While I am going to chime in on this subject, I want you to know that I have never designed a kitchen and never have I done a major remodel of a kitchen. My expertise is that I have learned what I do and don’t like in a kitchen from just plain living!

First, the don’t likes:

1. I don’t like any kind of tile with grout. This includes flooring. Grout is a maintenance hog. Scrubbing, bleaching, sealing, replacing…I would avoid tile. Grout – hate it.

2. I don’t like Formica. It burns…and yes someone will place a hot pot down on your Formica. Formica – hate it.

3. I don’t like colored appliances. I am old enough to remember white, bronze, avocado, buttercup yellow, almond, black, white, and stainless steel. (Many custom kitchen have their appliances’ exteriors match their cupboards—matters not to me.) Coloured appliances – hate them (well, they look quaint in a retro-futuristic way).

4. I don’t like dark cupboards; they darken the room too much. Dark cupboards – hate them.

5. I don’t like wood cupboards, too easily scratched by animals, children, etc. (Very frustrating- my sister-in-law’s collie literally ate her lower kitchen cupboards!) Wood cupboards – hmmm, have to think about that; great point about dogs chewing on them. Our current Schnauzer, Kepler, is beyond that age-wise, but who knows that mischief future puppies might get into.

6. I don’t like anything IKEA…I bought from them in 1997 and will never again darken their doorway. (Picture desks, bookcases, wall units disintegrating in front of your eyes when you try to move them.) IKEA – I just about jumped off the balcony trying to put together a sideboard.

7. I don’t like carpet in a kitchen. I experienced this once. It was pretty easy to care for until my then four year old squeezed a bottle of syrup on to the carpet! Carpet – hate it (plus, and this is a big point generally in the house, I’ve developed mild allergies and asthma, so bugs and fumes are something to be avoided in building materials)

8. I don’t really like a kitchen that opens up to every other common room. I love being able to close the kitchen door and sit down at a beautiful table without seeing the prep mess. Open kitchen – think this may be the one point we’re thinking differently; I suspect it’ll be a fairly open concept with the kitchen, eating area and living area all connected and looking out over the water. I do admit, though, that the Manhattan of pots and pans on Christmas day is a bit much.

9. I have grown away from wallpaper, although it can hide a myriad of sins in an antique home. Fabric back vinyl is the best for kitchen use. Wallpaper – don’t really hate it, but paint seems better (and there seems to be varieties that aren’t so toxic which I really need to explore)

10. I don’t like stainless steel sinks…very hard to keep looking nice. Every family member needs to be committed to this goal. Stainless steel sinks – I kind of like them, myself, but John is more partial to, ummm, ceramic (is that what the white sinks are made from?)

Suggestions of what I like or think I would like:

1. I believe you are correct that your appliances need to be provided by a company that will be willing to service them on Hornby Island. Kenmore used to be great for this reason; however, I believe appliances used to be built to last, but it seems from my recent experience that is not the case anymore. (My oldest sister just replaced her refrigerator that was 40+years old).

2. Have you considered ELECTROLUX appliances? I can tell you my mother bought a vacuum in 1949 and when she passed away in 2006, the vacuum was still going strong. They offer induction stoves and are well respected for Green Homes . Electrolux – thanks for the link; we’ll review it carefully – hadn’t really thought of them at all but they do look promising and have much more that I recall. We’ve loved our Miele appliances but are nervous about their serviceability on the island. Now, perhaps they’ll last forever, but what lasts forever? (I notice that they say they’re the only appliance company on the Dow Jones Sustainability Index; the company I work for, TELUS, is the only telecommunications company on the index, too. I help put our submission together each year; I work in Human Resources.)

3. I like the look of stainless steel cupboards, adding glass doors for the upper cupboards is a nice touch. (I believe you would have less scratching from kids and animals…and they would be easy maintenance. No painting, staining, stripping, etc. Very green! Stainless steel cupboards – another great suggestion; we’ll check into them further.

4. Now you are going to think this is crazy…but many a day I have wished that the kitchen floor had a drain! Think about the dishwasher that decides to break, the washing machine, and maybe even the water heater. I once had a garage with a drain. This was in Alaska. The reason for the drain was to be able to rinse off your car during the winter months. Drain – yes! We talked about this this morning. It was something that occurred to us for the mudroom but not the kitchen itself. It makes so much sense and doesn’t have to be out in the middle of the room, I suppose. If you’re out and there’s water flowing all over the place, it will find the drain. Presumably there can be ever so slight of an incline to encourage the water in that direction.

5. I like adding color with items that can be changed over time: light fixture glass globes, canisters, towels, flower pots, etc.

6. I have come to love simple concrete floors, stained. More information here. Concrete floors – again, yes, this is something that has come up both with friends who have had it in their condos and in material I’ve read. There are so many finishes and we want radiant heating, so that makes sense. And, back to my asthma, it seems cleaner.

7. I, too, like two ovens.

8. I think I like the idea of a dishwasher that is drawer style. It makes physical sense to me.

9. I really like having a pantry closet, walk-in. I have enjoyed that feature in two homes.

10. Some people rave about soapstone sinks and counter tops. All I know is I like the look!

Well, you asked and I answered. I am hoping you will allow me to feature your blog and my response to this post on my new blog. Let me know.
__________________________________________________________

Here is Darren's reply:
June 13, 2010
Well, thanks again Judy for your thoughtful and insightful and helpful comments. Yes, feel free to reference our blog in yours.

Cheers! Can’t wait to see your suggestions for our other rooms…
_________________________________________________________
What would your perfect kitchen look like? We can all afford a daydream, now and then. Let me know...

In the meantime here is an entertaining slide show of kitchens I have lived with from 1978-present.

Peaks and Valleys

2010-06-12T12:01:00.000-07:00

Today I would like to introduce you to my friend Jorja. You might already know Jorja as @beyondpalegal or from her blog "Living Beyond the Pale". If you asked me right now what Jorja's last name is, then I would have to say: "I have no idea". What I do know is that I enjoy reading her blog, her life story is captivating, she is amazingly forthright about her life, she has wonderful goals and she cares. Yesterday Jorja (I love saying her name...it is so beautiful) wrote a post asking the question "Did I Peak Early?" It is a question that I believe many of us ask along the way. I hope you will take a few minutes and read Jorja's post, you won't be disappointed. In fact, I invite you to poke around her site and learn more about Jorja.

Here is my OP-ED...June 12th, 2010 at 11:41AM

Hi Jorja,
I really enjoyed reading your post today. You know why? I was able to learn a lot about you. As I was reading this, I kept thinking “is this the same woman who just a few days ago talked about tagging her middle school while drinking with her tenth grade buddies?”

Now I know you had a successful college career, you started your own business and successfully sold it for a profit, you are happily married, you have three wonderful children, you are a private investigator…and you have dreams (goals).

If you and I had gone to high school together and suddenly ran into each other one day 20 years later, you might say to me “are you in politics or science?” And I would have to say “neither”. You see, I was the Student Body President and all of the awards that I won in high school were science related, including receiving an Honorable Mention as a Ford Future Scientist of America!

You like to talk about peaking and climbing peaks…since I gave up backpacking years ago, I prefer to just talk about paths and roads. Sometimes they are winding roads and sometimes we choose or have to take detours, but the interesting thing about life is that you can be like a perennial, blossoming slightly different each spring.

Hopefully, along the way you leave trail markers (cairns) for your children, your friends, your readers…and remember the best view is not always from the top of the mountain. I know this because most of my life I have lived in valleys: Sweetwater Valley, San Gabriel Valley, San Fernando Valley, Mt Washington Valley, and Tucson (completely surrounded by mountain ranges).

Mountains may inspire us, but the valleys are created by rivers and streams…they give us life.

P.S. I would love to post this to my new blog. Let me know if that is OK.
_________________________________________________________

Here is Jorja' reply:

June 12, 2010 at 12:15 pm

Judy, What an encouraging response! This is what I mean by you being so thoughtful! You can post this anywhere you want to post it dear! I hope you are okay with me quoting you on my next post! Your comments about being a perennial are fantastic! Love it and you! Thanks so much for sharing yourself and your wisdom!
________________________________________________________

What are your thoughts? I hope you will visit often and share your story.

Blog World's Allison Boyer Shares Easy Bake Oven Ideas

2010-06-11T12:42:00.000-07:00

BlogWorld introduced us this week to Allison Boyer. Allison is their new staff blogger. On June 10th Allison posted "Are You an Easy-Bake-Oven Blogger?" Lucky Allison, she caught my eye with Easy-Bake-Oven and I knew I would read her blog and have a story to tell her. I hope you will take a few minutes to read Allison's post. She has some really valid ideas about blogging and e-commerce.

Here is my OP-ED...
June 10th, 2010 at 7:22 pm

Hi Allison,

I stopped by here today, as I saw the announcement the other day regarding your new position with Blog World. Then much to my surprise your title today referenced the Kenner Easy Bake Oven. I totally understand what you mean when you talk about "Why shouldn't we get something for free? We don't want to risk our hard-earned money on an item that we know nothing about. The more we enjoy the free product, the more likely we are to make a purchase."

If we step back to the days prior to e-commerce, etc, what you are suggesting is like the old days of window shopping. Do you see what I mean? The free part was being able to take yourself or your whole family to a store…like Macys or much later to a mall and walk around and touch the items, try on the items, dream a little, put something on lay-away…and maybe, just maybe be so pleased by the user experience we would eventually make a purchase.

And that brings me to my Easy Bake Oven story: In November 1968 (yes I said 1968) I was living in San Francisco and I was hired by SEARS to be what they referred to as a Christmas extra (read temporary full-time employee). This was a very large store on Geary, took up an entire city block. At the time it was one of three unionized Sears stores in the US. They hired me to be a sales clerk, I was just 19. I had no idea how to sell anything and I didn't really like sales people. So I would spend my time on the floor making things look nice and because I was unassuming the customers liked me and would ask for help. I made a lot of sales!

But, because I was a Xmas extra I was an uncommissioned sales person and therefore not only were the regular employees mad at me for my high sales, they were even more mad that they didn't earn the commission on my sales. Since I didn't really understand any of this and how it worked, I told the other sales people that I would ring my sales in on their cash register key if it would make them happy. Oh! Boy, they were happy, but HR was furious. So they moved me to the next department, office furniture. I made a $1000+ sale the first day and the next day I was transferred to baby clothes. And so it went for about a month. Keep in mind I was earning $2.25 per hour!

About week four, they put me in the toy department: A mad house of a department during the holiday season. On my first day in the toy department a man came to me and said he needed help buying toys for his four children. $700 later every regular toys' sales person was complaining about me. The next morning HR came to me and said: "We have a proposal for you. Kenner Toys needs a toy demonstrator and if you demonstrate the toys for 8 hours per day and take inventory of Kenner toys in the morning and evening to see how much has sold, KENNER will pay you a commission at the end of the season." Problem solved…or so you might think.

Here are the toys I was to demonstrate: A record player – with one record "Hey, Jude" by the Beatles; a race car track; and a Kenner Easy Bake Oven. To make matters more interesting, unlike today, back then parents would arrive at the toy department and say to their children "stay here and play while I shop!" So I became the caregiver, playing with the kids, baking cakes and listening to "Hey, Jude" for three very long weeks.

Sales…you are right, Allison, somehow you have to let your customers get to know you and "touch" your product.

Good luck with your new position.
______________________________________________________
Here is Allison's reply:
June 11th, 2010 at 12:04 am

Thanks for sharing your story, Judy (and for the well wishes)! I totally agree, what I’m suggesting in this post can be compared to window-shopping and store demos. With an information-based product, like an ebook or video course, free content is the demo, and if your free content stinks, so will your sales.
______________________________________________________

What are your thoughts? I hope you will visit often and share your story.

Judy's Op-Ed Page

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