Remembering Memorial Day - History, Honor, and Humor

This post was originally published in 2009, but we thought it still a good way to learn about Memorial Day and share some personal stories. Happy Memorial Day Weekend 2012!
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This weekend, more particularly this coming Monday, May 25, 2009, Americans will "celebrate" Memorial Day. I thought today I would spend a few minutes remembering Memorial Day, with some history, honor and humor.

As a youngster I came to know Memorial Day as May 30th, celebrated really as a day to remember those who had given their life in service to our country. It didn't really matter what day of the week May 30th occurred, it was a Federal holiday, a day off from school and it meant we would proudly display the American Flag on our home and we would attend a parade. After all I grew up in a military town, just outside San Diego, CA, and my father was a retired Naval officer. These parades weren't always grand, but they were a nice tradition.

If you would like to learn more about the history of Memorial Day there is a very interesting Library of Congress web page with wonderful information. Two historical items of interest:

1. "In 1971, federal law changed the observance of the holiday to the last Monday in May and extended the honor to all soldiers who died in American wars."
2. "Protocol for flying the American flag on Memorial Day includes raising it quickly to the top of the pole at sunrise, immediately lowering it to half-staff until noon, and displaying it at full staff from noon until sunset."
Additionally, I came across a History Channel presentation of the history of Taps and the playing of Taps for our fallen military. Here is the YouTube video.

Memorial Day is to be a day to honor those of our armed services who died during an American War or as a result of an American war. But since my father's passing in 1979, I always like to honor him on days like Memorial Day and Veterans Day. I have talked about my father, Joseph Eagen, in other blog posts. He led a very interesting life, but what defined his adult life was his commitment to the US Navy. On December 30, 1935, at the age of 17 years 11 months, he completed his Navy enlistment application. He needed his mother's permission to enlist! Ten months later, on October 13, 1936, his enlistment was approved. For the next 17 years he served and was retired due to a service connected disability on June 30, 1953. The photo shown here is one that I have always loved. My father is the tall one on the right. I believe it was taken in China between July 9, 1937 and November 3, 1938, when he served aboard the U.S.S. Augusta. What I love about this photo is the sheer expression of joy in my father's sparkling eyes and smile. (By the way, the dark mark on his cheek is just a defect in a very old photo.)

Now you are probably wondering how I could ever remember Memorial Day with humor. Well, this story will take you to a day in my life at Cranmore Mountain Lodge, located in Carroll County, Town of Conway, Village of Kearsarge, New Hampshire. The year is 1987. Our country inn was situated on plus or minus seven acres and our property line went up a hill to abut the property line of the Kearsarge Cemetery. This cemetery is very, very old and it is the type of cemetery that people will often visit to do headstone rubbings.

On this Memorial Day 1987 a lady came to the inn. She introduced herself as a member of the Kearsarge Cemetery Association and she wanted to know if we were aware that our two young sons had been visiting the cemetery with her grandson, Eric. I told her I didn't know they had climbed the hill to the Cemetery and then she asked me if I noticed that my children were running around outside with many little American Flags in their hands. I told her I had noticed that and that is when she told me that Aaron (6.5 years), Dan (3 years)and Eric (4 years) had "raided" the cemetery and removed all of the Memorial Day flags that had been placed to honor the war dead!

As you celebrate Memorial Day take time out of your weekend to remember those who gave their lives for our country. And let me know how you remember Memorial Day.
P.S. I do not know the names of the other two young men in the photo with my father. Should anyone out there in the world wide web recognize them, please let me know.

Birthday Memories Are Sometimes Blurry

Blowing out 40 candles with my 5 year old

Most birthdays are a blur. Don't you agree?  I mean really, it starts right from birth. A blur, am I right?  You might have access to a really detailed birth certificate that indicates who else was present on your glorious day, but you certainly don't remember a thing about your birth day. Depending on your life's circumstances maybe only your mother remembers your birth. My father was overseas at the time of my birth, so it was just my Mom and I think my father's Aunt Mag. Of course, my two older sisters were at home waiting for me, but even at ages 5 1/2 and 2 1/2, I hardly think they remember the day of my birth with any clarity.

I started thinking about this phenomenon after my TIME Magazine arrived last Friday. The cover story is Why Mom Liked You Best - The Science of Favoritism by Jeffrey Kluger.  It is a good read, you will probably recognize yourself somewhere in it. I suspect all parents have a favorite. Sometimes it is just a little look, the color of the little one's hair, the shape of their hands...it just happens. And that's life.

What occurred to me though is that there are very few actual celebrations of my birthday that I recall. Maybe this has to do with being the third of four children; I was the youngest girl of three, with a younger brother to boot. Maybe it has to do with my parents not being able to afford memorable birthday parties. I survived.  That's what counts right?  Point of fact: I actually remember eight celebrations. I can't locate a photo for each, but I thought you might get a kick out of the photos I did locate.

CLICK ON THE PHOTOS THEY WILL ENLARGE.



My oldest sister, Joann, with me. I am in her babydoll stroller. This is the earliest photo of me. Circa 1950



Guessing this is my 2nd Birthday 1951.

5th Birthday celebrated as a guest on The Smokey Rogers Show

9th Birthday celebrated with Joann Eagen, Agnes Eagen, Michael Eagen, Nancy Tschiderer, Gloria Gurney, Marlene Sieger, Lucille Iavelli, et al. Can you find me?

15th Birthday Celebration Back Row L-R: Mary Brockley, Adele Shaules, Cathy Callagy, Judy Eagen. Front Row L-R: Mary Dell Miller, Judy Devlin, Gale Huguenard, Maribeth Lewer and Michelle Walsh

A very blurry 40th Birthday. L-R Judy Helfand, Debbie Fischbein, Dennis Helfand, unknown, and Dan Fischbein

54th Birthday Celebration: Enjoying a gift from "The Girls".

I would like to add that the following birthdays will always stay with me:

• When I turned four my family had just returned from living on Fort Campbell, KY. I received a boy baby doll for my birthday. I named him Michael. I think I chose that name because I had just spent some time with my Uncle Mike and Cousin Mike. I loved that doll. I had him for so long my Mom would take him to the Doll Hospital (yes, there is/was such a thing) to get a whole new body!
• When I turned 34 my husband, Dennis, asked me what was on my Birthday Wish List. I told him I needed a wallet. He asked me to tell him what brand. Jokingly, five months pregnant with our second baby, I said "Gucci!"  So off he went to Nordstrom's.  He picked out a beautiful wallet, but found himself speechless when the saleslady said: "That will be $298!"  I used that wallet until 2004! 
• When I turned 40 we were living in New Hampshire and Dennis gave me a surprise party. It was a great party with a cockeyed photographer, as you can see from the photos above. All of my friends pitched in and bought me a $300 gift certificate to The Balsams Grand Resort Hotel. Everybody knows the Balsams - it is "First in the Nation" location to report its results of the Presidential election. We used the Gift Certificate to celebrate Dennis' 50th Birthday!
• When I turned 50 my friends (The Girls) at Mercury decorated my office. It was so much fun. I left the decorations up for six months. Every time the company President would stop by my office to ask about a project he would step back and say: "Is today your birthday?"

Well, for all my talk about blurry memories, I managed to ramble on for quite a while. Today is my birthday. Dennis and I are going out for dinner and I am going to have someone take a photo. I hope it won't be blurry.

Tell me, what is your favorite birthday celebration memory?

Jacob Meisler September 22, 1891 - March 23, 1989

L-R Max Meisler, Jacob Meisler w/ two friends

120 years ago today, September 22, 1891, Jacob Meisler was born. Jacob Meisler is my husband's maternal grandfather and our sons' great grandfather. In celebration of Jacob Meisler's (Papa, Grandpa, Jake, Poppy, Uncle Jack) birth I am going to fulfill a request made to me in 1993.

The Backstory...

On June 8, 1993, Bertha Meisler Helfand (my mother-in-law) sent me the following request:

"I've been lax about having this "poem" printed like the one's you had made so I'm passing the job on to you.

I know that you're getting busy now - and since I've waited all these year to have it 'permanent-ized' - please take as long as necessary to have it done. You can make up 4 copies - keep one for yourselves & send me the bill."

Here is the poem Bertha (Birdie, Bertie, Mom, Grandma from the Bronx, Aunt Bert) is referring to; she wrote it for her father in honor of his 90th birthday, September 22, 1981.

A TOAST TO PAPA 

Congratulations & best wishes in your 90th year,
We're here to toast you loud and clear.
You're a man of integrity, dignity and pride,
You're refined and charming when we look inside.
With your taste in clothes you should be in "Who's Who,"
Bill Blass and Givenchy could learn from you.
You're King of the Cha Cha in Miami Beach,
Arthur Murray & Fred Astaire you could surely teach.
Your jokes are funny and make us roar,
Even tho we have heard them before.
So - enjoy your birthday - have health aplenty,
We want to celebrate with you until you are
120!

So, I needed 18 years...

I always listen to my mother-in law.  She said: "Please take as long as necessary to have it done." So, I took a little more than 18 years to print this poem and "permanent-ize" for all the family to enjoy. This week I decided that I would try to share a little bit about Jacob Meisler's life.  First, I will share what I know to be facts, then a bit of what might be urban legend, and close with some photos and documents for all to enjoy.

Just the facts...

1. Jacob (Jakob) was born September 22, 1891
2. His parents were Perle(Pescha) Bochner (nee) and Aaron (Euron) Meisler
3. Jacob was born in Delatyn - Delatyn is a village in the foothills of the Carpathian mountains. It lies along the Pruth River within Eastern Galicia. Before World War I it was part of the Austro-Hungarian Empire; between the World Wars, Poland, after World War II, the U.S.S.R, and today, Ukraine. Delatyn was home to a vibrant Jewish community until the Fall of 1941.
4. Jacob had seven (7) siblings: Chaim Laib, Zigmund (Zelig or Sigmund), Chai Ester, Max (Mendel), Lena, Yette, and Alte. 
5. Aaron, Jacob's father, was a tailor. 
6. Aaron died in 1914, just before the family was forced to leave Delatyn.
7. Jacob immigrated to the United States in 1909.
8. Jacob set sail from Rotterdam, Holland, on July 31, 1909. He sailed on the S.S. Ryndam. He was listed on the manifest as Jankel Meisler, Austrian, Hebrew, from Belatyn, Austria, 18 years old, single. His next of kin was listed as Aron Meisler. His occupation was listed as tailor. He was held for "special inspection" because he "squints".  He had 25 dollars and he told the inspectors he was going to live with Isaac Strum at 150 12th Street, New York, NY.(Isaac was married to Lena Meisler - Jacob's sister). He arrived at Ellis Island on August 10, 1909.
9. Jacob's mother, Pesche/Pescha/Pesie, died in New York City November 9, 1937. According to her headstone, she was 80 years old. So that means she was born around 1857.
10. Jacob married Rose Drucker (nee)
11. Jacob and Rose had three children: Bertha (10/28/1912), Estelle (03/17/1914- 02/03/2006) and Sidney (05/22/1916 - 08/16/1995)
12. On June 5, 1917, Jacob registered for the United States draft. According to his registration he was living at 734 E 9th Street, New York, NY. He was employed as an operator for Singer which was located at 6-8 E 27th St. He is married with three children. He is described as short and stout. He claimed exemption from the draft because of his stomach and right eye. In answer to the question, "has person lost arm, leg, hand, foot, eye or both eyes or is he otherwise disabled (specify)?" he answered "right eye."
13. On June 18, 1920, Jacob Meisler became a Naturalized Citizen of the United States. He was 28 years old, 5 foot 5 inches tall, living at 341 Crimmins Avenue, Bronx, New York, with his wife Rose and three children. 
14. According to the 1930 Census, taken on April 22, 1930, Jacob and Rose Meisler lived at 823 East 147th Street, Bronx, NY. They lived there with Bertha, Estelle and Sidney. Their monthly rent was $60. Jacob's occupation is listed as a tailor and Bertha's occupation is listed as a bookkeeper. The census indicates that they had a radio set!
15. In 1933 Jacob Meisler owned a car; this is according to a photo provided by Bertha.
16. On March 5, 1938, Bertha Meisler married Julius Helfand, D.D.S.
17. In 1942, Jacob Meisler again registered for the US draft. His registration reports his address as 111 West 167th Street, Bronx, NY. His employer is listed as Casual Sportswear 224 West 35th Street, New York, NY. 
18. Jacob and Rose Meisler enjoyed eight grandchildren: Dennis Helfand, Harvey Helfand, Vivian Helfand, Stephen Goldberg, Beverly Goldberg, Phyllis Meisler, Myrna Meisler, and Sheri (Sherry Jane)Meisler.
19. Jacob and Rose's grandchildren are now parents and grandparents, as well.  
20. In 1947 the following Meislers served as "officers" of the Meisler Family Circle: Jacob Meisler (President), Sigmund Meisler (Vice-President), Max Meisler (Vice-President), C. Esther Holtz, and Lena Strum. 
21. Jacob and Rose Meisler bought a two family home at 1559 Pelham Parkway North, Bronx, NY
22. Jacob and Rose resided on the first level of the home at 1559 Pelham Parkway N, and Estelle (Stella) Meisler Goldberg and Benjamin Goldberg resided in the top level home with their children Stephen and Beverly. 
23. Jacob and Rose loved to dance. 
24. After Rose's passing, Jacob often would spend the winter months in Miami Beach, FL. 
25. On September 22, 1978, Jacob celebrated his 87th birthday at the home of his grand-nephew Robert Stuckleman (grandson of Zigmund (Sigmund or Zelig) Meisler).
26. On September 23, 1978, Jacob Meisler danced at our wedding which took place at Robert and Tina Stuckelman's home. In attendance were: Mildred Meisler Stuckelman, Bertha Meisler Helfand, Estelle Meisler Goldberg, Benjamin Goldberg, Sidney Meisler, Rosalie Meisler (nee Steiner), Vivian Rubin (nee Helfand), Marc Rubin, Stephen Goldberg, Mark Stuckelman, Nona Stuckelman, Joseph Stuckelman and Sylvia Drucker.
27. Jacob spent the summer of 1981 and 1982 with us in West Covina, CA.  He watched Aaron learn to swim and met Johnny Carson (got his autograph) on a return flight to New York City!
28. December 1982, Dennis and I visited Poppy in Miami Beach, FL. During this trip we met Jack and Rose Holtz. Jack was the son of Jacob's sister, Chai Ester (married to Israel Holz).
29. From 1985-1989, we visited Poppy where he lived at the Ambassador Manor, Long Beach, NY.
30. On March 23, 1989, Jacob Meisler passed away, just shy of his 98th birthday.
31. Both Jacob and Rose Meisler (nee Drucker) are at rest at Beth El Cemetery in Paramus, NJ.

 Some urban legends (items I have not been able to prove)...

1. I was told a few times that Jacob's father, Aaron, designed military uniforms for Franz Joseph I of Austro-Hungarian Empire. 
2. I have been told that Poppy is known in New York City fashion industry as the designer of the woman's Eisenhower jacket.

Photos and documents...

Over the years I have managed to gather copies or original photos and documents. I know that so many of you must have great photos of your own family that include part of the Jacob Meisler history. I hope that this little project will inspire you to send me the digital copies and I will add them to this post.  One more thing, you should know that of Jacob's seven (7) siblings, two died young and before marrying. According to Bertha (Birdie), Chaim Laib died at two years of age and Yette died in Delatyn at the age of 22 of tuberculosis. 

It has been my honor to have met descendants of Jacob Meisler, Chai Esther Meisler, Zelig (Zigmund/Sigmund) Meisler and Mendel (Max) Meisler.

Finally, a quote from Carl Sandburg...

"A camera testament, a drama of the grand canyon of humanity, an epic woven of fun, mystery and holiness - here is the Family of Man!"

Enjoy the journey (click on any photo to enlarge) and please add your own memories in the comments!

Jacob Meisler's passport verifies year of birth 1891 and immigration year 1909

Jacob Meisler's United States Draft Registration 1917

Jacob Meisler's Certificate of Naturalization June 18, 1920

Jacob Meisler's Family Listed in the US 1930 Census

Standing L-R: Estelle Meisler, Jacob Meisler, Rose Meisler and seated L-R Bertha Meisler & Sidney Meisler - Year unknown

Selig Meisler, Sol Strum, Jennie Singer Meisler, Bertha Meisler, Rose Meisler, Estelle Meisler, Ben Triebwasser and Jacob Meisler 1933

Selig Meisler, Jennie Singer Meisler, Rose Drucker Meisler and Estelle Meisler 1933

Meisler Family Gathering Includes Julius Helfand, Bertha Helfand, Benjamin Goldberg, Estelle Goldberg, Rose Meisler and Jacob Meisler (front right) - year unknown

Jacob Meisler's 1942 US Draft Registration

January 16, 1955- Dennis Helfand's Bar Mitzvah. L-R standing Harvey Helfand, Benjamin Goldberg, Jacob Meisler, Julius Helfand, Dennis Helfand, Sidney Meisler, Phyllis Meisler,. L - R sitting Estelle Goldberg, Rose Meisler, Bertha Helfand, Rosalie Meisler, Myrna Meisler. L-R Floor sitting Stephen Goldberg and Vivian Helfand

September 23, 1978: L-R Back Row Robert Stuckelman, Tina Stuckelman, Sidney Meisler, Dennis Helfand, Stephen Goldberg, Benjamin Goldberg, Vivian Rubin, Sylvia Drucker, Marc Rubin; L-R Front Row Nona Stuckelman, Rosalie Meisler, Mildred Meisler Stuckelman, Joseph Stuckelman, Bertha Helfand, Estelle Goldberg, Jacob Meisler, and Mark Stuckelman.  The Stuckelmans are Zelig Meisler's descendants.

L- R Bertha Meisler Helfand, Jacob Meisler, Judith Eagen Helfand, Dennis Helfand September 23, 1978.

Dennis Helfand, Aaron Helfand and Jacob Meisler- Summer 1981 California

 This is a letter written by Jack Meisler to Dennis and Judy. He wrote this to send me Birdie's poem for his 90th Birthday Party. Notice he says to give regards to the Stuckelman Family.

Jacob Meisler, Aaron Helfand and Dennis Helfand - Three generations Summer 1982 California

Summer 1982 L-R standing Jacob Meisler and George Meisler, L-R seated Belle Fertel Meisler, Judy Helfand, Aaron Helfand and Mildred Meisler Stuckelman. George and Mildred's father was Zelig Meisler, brother of Jacob.

Bertha Helfand, Dennis Helfand, Jacob Meisler, Daniel Helfand and Aaron Helfand. Four Generations September 1985.

Summer 1987 New Hampshire - L-R Back Row: Dennis Helfand, Judy Helfand, Richard Meisler, Joshua Meisler, Daniel Meisler. L-R Front Row: Aaron Helfand, Daniel Helfand, Miriam Meisler. Richard and his sons Joshua and Daniel are the grandson and great-grandsons of Mendel (Max) Meisler. (Max is in the photo at the top of this article).

Aaron and Daniel Helfand, Jacob Meisler's great-grandsons - March 1989.

Some of Jacob Meisler and Zelig Meisler's grandchildren and great-grandchildren: Beverly Goldberg standing in background. L-R Seated: Mark Stuckelman, Phyllis Levine, Myrna Korman, Renee Ponder, Nona Stuckelman and Robert Stuckelman.  Tucson, AZ October 8, 2010.

L-R: Jared Rubin, Douglas Rubin (Jacob's great grandsons), Jen Bender Rubin, Vivian Rubin(Jacob's grand-daughter) and Marc Rubin. August 7, 2011.

Bertha Meisler Helfand visiting with her great granddaughter, Meredith Yates. August 8, 2011.

September 2015 Dennis Eugene Helfand visited his Great Grandmother Pesie Meisler's grave. Jacob's mother died November 9, 1937, and she is buried in Baron Hersch Cemetery on Staten Island, NY.

Times Long Gone - Remembering 9/11

View of the World Trade Center 1990 - Click to enlarge

Times Long Gone - Auld Lang Syne

A lot happens in a decade. This Sunday most of us, who are old enough, will be remembering September 11, 2001, or as we often refer to the day 9/11. We will think back to where we were, who we were with, how we spent the day and following days. It is what we do. We have our memories, albeit sometimes edited because they are too painful.

When I wrote my 2001 holiday letter I talked about searching for a "connection" to New York City and the World Trade Center.

"...in the Fall of 1976, I actually toured the World Trade Center with my sister's brother-in-law; we even went to the Observation Deck. It was a cold and windy day, and sadly even though I returned to the City quite often as the years passed, I never returned to the Trade Center.  I would point out the structure to Aaron and Daniel on each visit, but we never took the time to stop and tour this landmark. I kept thinking, if I only had a picture, I would have that needed connection."

As I said, a lot happens in a decade. I am thinking back now to good times, bad times, sad times. We have all, no doubt, experienced our own Circle of Life events through this decade - weddings, births, graduations, illnesses, retirements, deaths, career changes, wars, divorces, elections...life goes on.

The photo you see above was taken by me in 1990; however, I had misplaced it, until a few weeks ago. That's right; it took me 10 years to find my photo of the World Trade Center. I took this photo from Statue Cruises boat. Aaron, Daniel, Grandma Birdie and I were touring Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty. 

The photo you see below is a blended image of Aaron and Daniel on the Statue Cruises boat in 1990 and the two of them all dressed up for a family gathering - Circle of Life events.

Aaron & Daniel - Click to enlarge

Would love your comments. What has this decade been like for you?  What Circle of Life events have you experienced from 2001 - 2011?

On Target, Does Cursive Matter?

School is starting today in many districts across the United States. Here in Tucson school started a few weeks ago. I have been reading a lot lately about the Common Core Curriculum which has been adopted by 40 of our 50 states and which suggests that there really is no need to teach cursive.

Cursive is a strange word. I remember the first time I heard it used. My oldest son came home from third grade and proudly announced that he was learning cursive. I told him I had no idea what he was talking about. The year was 1990. I was 41. He then showed me what he meant. And I said, "Oh, you mean handwriting or penmanship!" He just kind of smiled. To this day I still have two pendaflex folders filled with Aaron's "cursive" 4th grade spelling tests that interestingly enough had to be done with two columns: One column for the printed word and one column for the word written in cursive. Mr. Dyrenforth graded each column not only for spelling accuracy, but also for cursive and printing proficiencies. For the record, I liked John Dyrenforth and so did Aaron and his brother, Daniel.

I was taught penmanship (that is what it was called in California in 1957) by the Benedictine nuns. I struggled somewhat as I am left-handed and by the time I started grammar school most nuns had given up on converting the left-handed to be right-handed. I say I struggled because if you are left handed you know all about smearing your ink and trying to write over the spiral rings of notebooks. You know all about sitting in one-sided desks designed for the right-handed. You struggle more if you insist on getting the slant of the Palmer method perfect for Sister Elitas.

But let's get back to the question at hand. Does cursive matter?  I know many of you will say it is more important for students to learn to TYPE on a keyboard. But are they learning to TYPE?  I don't have an answer to that question. I learned to type in a public school summer class. I was in 7th grade. I have never been sorry about taking that class.

Here is what I love most about cursive. It is personal. It is distinct. Every time I receive a card from my husband it has his very distinct handwriting. I have letters from my mother and father that I keep, more because they are handwritten...not typed or printed, but handwritten.  I love getting letters from my dear friend Ginny, all handwritten. I know immediately when I have received a letter from my friend Arnold. He doesn't type it, but addresses the letter and envelope in cursive. If we don't continue to teach cursive, will the children of today not have signatures?

Today I would like to share a TARGET ad with you.  I wonder how many of our children will not be able to read the ad "Expect More, Pay Less".



If you are having trouble viewing the video, you can see it here.

On the other hand, below is a handwritten letter. It was written by my father in 1937. He was 19. He was writing to his twin sister. I love this letter. The only thing he got wrong was that he did not know the correct spelling of the troop transport ship USS Chaumont. He confused it with the USS Shawmut. If you click on the photos they get larger.

I hope you will give your comments.  On target, does cursive matter?

 

Related articles

• Cursive or typing in school? (cnn.com)
• Art of penmanship on cusp of resurgence (seattletimes.nwsource.com)
• Video: School considers cutting cursive (cbsnews.com)
• Hawaii No Longer Requires Teaching Cursive In Schools (huffingtonpost.com)
• Overheard on CNN.com: 'From dropout ... to cult leader' (news.blogs.cnn.com)

E. E. Cummings Oct 14, 1894 - Sept 3, 1962

Cover of e. e. cummings

Edward Estlin Cummings (E. E. Cummings) died in 1962, 49 years ago today. He died of a stroke at the Memorial Hospital in North Conway, NH. He summered at his Joy Farm in Silver Lake, New Hampshire. I am sharing this with you only because I always liked reading his works. He died the summer before I started high school. I kind of doubt that Sister Maria Dolores (Freshman English) introduced me to Cummings, but I know I read many of his poems prior to high school graduation, including the poem you see here.

I don't have much in common with Cummings, except that I lived in North Conway, NH from 1985-1997 and I lived through many interesting hours at the Memorial Hospital - husband's surgeries, children's surgeries and broken bones. And, yes, I was there once for the broken ribs I suffered as a result of an angry cow!  I also recall some very idyllic summer days at Silver Lake and I think I know why Mr. Cummings loved his Joy Farm.

E. E. Cummings wrote about 2900 poems.  ITEM (I don't really know if it has another name) is said to have been written circa 1926.  So interesting.  What made him write this poem?  Do you know?

XIV

ITEM

this man is o so
Waiter
this;woman is

please shut that
the pout And affectionate leer
interminable pyramidal, napkins
(this man is oh so tired of this
a door opens by itself
woman.)they so to speak were in 

Love once?
now
      her mouth opens too far
and:she attacks her Lobster without
feet mingle under the
mercy.
         (exit the hors d'oeuvres)

Tell me what you think of this poem.

And for fun here are some photos of my family enjoying Silver Lake 25 years ago this month. (If you click on the photos they will enlarge.)

Daniel enjoying Sharon and Norm Wilson's boat and dog!

Aaron with Norm (far left), Sharon, Judy and Dennis

Overbooked Children 20 Years Later

For the record I am not a mommy blogger. Or on second thought maybe I am one of the original mommy bloggers; consider that I started writing my yearly "painfully honest" holiday letters around 1985 and when I published Innovations for our Cranmore Mt. Lodge I frequently opined about raising our sons, Aaron and Daniel.  This past week my friend, Angela DeCicco, Facebook shared a New York Times article: Family Happiness and the Overbooked Child.

Whatever your current status is: parent with small children, grandparent, aunt, uncle, parent with teenagers, please read the article. I did. And it made me think back 20 years ago when our children wanted to participate in activities or learn a musical instrument.  We had to weigh each request carefully, not just from the monetary impact, but also impact on their time, our time and quite frankly their real interest.

So let's see. Here is a quick rundown of formal ACTIVITIES that Aaron and Daniel enjoyed: alpine skiing training and competitive racing (both), soccer camp (Daniel), little league baseball (Aaron), Nordic skiing training and competitive racing (Daniel), Cub Scouts (Aaron) and guitar lessons (both).  From my "edited" memories I am happy to report:

• Our spare closet still plays home to the alpine skiing trophies, medals, ribbons and I can still remember 10 year old Aaron returning from the 1991 Junior Ski Meisters Awards night. He had received a number of awards and exclaimed: "This was the best night of my whole life!"
• Daniel won some kind of recognition at summer soccer camp, but for the life of me I cannot remember the details. (But be assured I have photos.)
• In 1992 Aaron played baseball for the John Fuller Farm League and he was the first recipient of the James Reed Memorial Trophy for being the "most improved player."
• In 1996 Daniel participated in the inaugural "Ski to the Clouds" race. He still holds the record for the youngest person to x-country ski UP the Mt. Washington Auto Road.
• Guitar lessons...my clearest memory is: after multiple months of lessons, Grandma Birdie asked the boys to play her a song. They managed to "pick" out "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star!" Grandma Birdie was a pretty good audience (just a little eye-rolling), after all that is a grandma's duty. But Aaron and Daniel soon put down the guitars. Playing a musical instrument seemed not to be part of their DNA...the lessons ceased.

Today I am writing this post to share with you my thoughts about providing opportunities for your children. I have mentioned before that my mother insisted that my siblings and I learn how to play a musical instrument. I have no idea what this cost my parents over the 15 + years that we took lessons. I was never good in sports, but my parents did allow my middle sister to take tennis lessons and we all experienced rudimentary horseback riding (it was free).  My brother played sports; he has a lot of trophies and mended bones.  But details aside, I have always been thankful for these opportunities which allowed me to learn and appreciate the arts.

Opportunities are not always wrapped in a formal training program, be it a camp or team. Sometimes we can provide our children with opportunities by allowing them to learn a skill and practice the skill in day to day life. For example, when Aaron was about 12 Dennis encouraged or invited him to learn how to cook breakfast for our inn guests. Aaron found he liked cooking and he could be rewarded with compliments and a small paycheck. If you like to write then encourage your children. My dad liked to write silly poetry. I had an uncle that loved to draw - pencil sketching, and all these years later that innate ability has come alive in my sisters and at least one of my nephews. My husband loves to play the piano. It comes naturally to him. As little boys, Aaron and Daniel watched intently.

To my friends that have little children or are expecting babies, enjoy the moments. Encourage your children, but remember they will always keep surprising you. Want to know what our "overbooked children" are doing now 20 years later?  Well, I am going to tell you.

Aaron and Dennis at the CIA - August 2, 2011

Aaron is now (eight years after his college graduation) enrolled in the Culinary Institute of America's ACE Program. In fact earlier this month we visited with Aaron at the CIA. (see photo of Aaron and Dennis).

Daniel plays a great harmonica (see YouTube video below- Daniel is the one on the right). And now we have learned he is teaching himself how to play the piano! And believe me, he gets it. Music is part of him. So what if he is not a classical guitarist...Grandma Birdie was proud to have Daniel play piano for her friends earlier this month. By the way, he took up downhill skiing again this year.

Daniel playing the piano - August 2011

The truth is most children will find their way, their passion.  And when they do, learning becomes fun and they will happily spend hours with their chosen art.

Your thoughts? Are you overbooking your children?

The Importance of Story In Your Life

A great photo to highlight the importance of story! Joann Eagen, Agnes Eagen, Pat Kimball, and Judy Eagen, Winter 1951

I am writing this blog today because Chris Brogan has challenged his readers to write about the "importance of story in your life." Chris was talking about Don Miller's latest book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life and from this came the challenge. Apparently if I am timely enough with this post I might receive a free copy of A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life. In an earlier post, February 21, 2010, Chris Brogan encouraged his readers to use social media to "Turn your lens on your family. Tell family stories for future generations."

For those of you who know me (i.e., my immediate family, team members, relatives, friends, previous co-workers, blog readers), I am most generally known as the storyteller. If you give me a subject I can probably tell you a story from my life that relates to that subject. While many may roll their eyes, get the "hook" or give me the old wind-up signal when I start to tell a story, these are the same people who will ask if the yearly holiday letter is ready to mail or have I posted to the Webconsuls' blog lately.

When I was assigned to be the Saturday morning blogger for Webconsuls I allowed myself the freedom to write about any topic, it did not have to be technical in any fashion. So you can imagine my blog topics have been all over the map.

My father liked to share stories about his life and I liked listening to him tell a good story. Today I am thinking back to couple of years ago when I shared with my two sons a letter that had been written by my father in 1950.

The day I shared this was Father's Day 2008 and since my father had passed away in 1979 neither of my sons had the opportunity to know my dad. I decided that I would send a copy of this letter to Aaron and Daniel, so that they might have some insight into their maternal grandfather, Joseph Raymond Eagen. The letter was written to my mother on December 16, 1950, addressed from Hungnam, Korea. My father was aboard the USS Kaskaskia. According to Wikipedia "During December she arrived off Hungnam to service ships engaged in evacuation operations in that area. Throughout the harsh winter months, Kaskaskia continued vital fueling missions between Japan and Korea." If you choose to read the letter it is here. Just click on each jpg and they will enlarge.

Daddy's letter, page 2

Daddy's letter, page 1

Happily both Aaron and Daniel enjoyed reading my dad's letter. Aaron referred to it as "fascinating" and Daniel called it "amazing, like nothing I ever read before." A story well received, all brought about because my brother, Michael Eagen, found the letter, created jpgs, emailed me the letter and I was able to email it to my children. Fabulous.

I must tell you that if you read the letter you will know that my dad talks about buying and mailing some special jackets. Daniel wanted to know if I still had the jacket! Well, I don't, but I do have a great photo of me with my sisters and Pat Kimball. Now you know the story behind the photo at the top of today's post.We are all wearing our "jackets". It is Winter 1951.

So this is today's important story. Enjoy! And, by all means, let me know what you think of it.