Overbooked Children 20 Years Later

For the record I am not a mommy blogger. Or on second thought maybe I am one of the original mommy bloggers; consider that I started writing my yearly "painfully honest" holiday letters around 1985 and when I published Innovations for our Cranmore Mt. Lodge I frequently opined about raising our sons, Aaron and Daniel.  This past week my friend, Angela DeCicco, Facebook shared a New York Times article: Family Happiness and the Overbooked Child.

Whatever your current status is: parent with small children, grandparent, aunt, uncle, parent with teenagers, please read the article. I did. And it made me think back 20 years ago when our children wanted to participate in activities or learn a musical instrument.  We had to weigh each request carefully, not just from the monetary impact, but also impact on their time, our time and quite frankly their real interest.

So let's see. Here is a quick rundown of formal ACTIVITIES that Aaron and Daniel enjoyed: alpine skiing training and competitive racing (both), soccer camp (Daniel), little league baseball (Aaron), Nordic skiing training and competitive racing (Daniel), Cub Scouts (Aaron) and guitar lessons (both).  From my "edited" memories I am happy to report:

• Our spare closet still plays home to the alpine skiing trophies, medals, ribbons and I can still remember 10 year old Aaron returning from the 1991 Junior Ski Meisters Awards night. He had received a number of awards and exclaimed: "This was the best night of my whole life!"
• Daniel won some kind of recognition at summer soccer camp, but for the life of me I cannot remember the details. (But be assured I have photos.)
• In 1992 Aaron played baseball for the John Fuller Farm League and he was the first recipient of the James Reed Memorial Trophy for being the "most improved player."
• In 1996 Daniel participated in the inaugural "Ski to the Clouds" race. He still holds the record for the youngest person to x-country ski UP the Mt. Washington Auto Road.
• Guitar lessons...my clearest memory is: after multiple months of lessons, Grandma Birdie asked the boys to play her a song. They managed to "pick" out "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star!" Grandma Birdie was a pretty good audience (just a little eye-rolling), after all that is a grandma's duty. But Aaron and Daniel soon put down the guitars. Playing a musical instrument seemed not to be part of their DNA...the lessons ceased.

Today I am writing this post to share with you my thoughts about providing opportunities for your children. I have mentioned before that my mother insisted that my siblings and I learn how to play a musical instrument. I have no idea what this cost my parents over the 15 + years that we took lessons. I was never good in sports, but my parents did allow my middle sister to take tennis lessons and we all experienced rudimentary horseback riding (it was free).  My brother played sports; he has a lot of trophies and mended bones.  But details aside, I have always been thankful for these opportunities which allowed me to learn and appreciate the arts.

Opportunities are not always wrapped in a formal training program, be it a camp or team. Sometimes we can provide our children with opportunities by allowing them to learn a skill and practice the skill in day to day life. For example, when Aaron was about 12 Dennis encouraged or invited him to learn how to cook breakfast for our inn guests. Aaron found he liked cooking and he could be rewarded with compliments and a small paycheck. If you like to write then encourage your children. My dad liked to write silly poetry. I had an uncle that loved to draw - pencil sketching, and all these years later that innate ability has come alive in my sisters and at least one of my nephews. My husband loves to play the piano. It comes naturally to him. As little boys, Aaron and Daniel watched intently.

To my friends that have little children or are expecting babies, enjoy the moments. Encourage your children, but remember they will always keep surprising you. Want to know what our "overbooked children" are doing now 20 years later?  Well, I am going to tell you.

Aaron and Dennis at the CIA - August 2, 2011

Aaron is now (eight years after his college graduation) enrolled in the Culinary Institute of America's ACE Program. In fact earlier this month we visited with Aaron at the CIA. (see photo of Aaron and Dennis).

Daniel plays a great harmonica (see YouTube video below- Daniel is the one on the right). And now we have learned he is teaching himself how to play the piano! And believe me, he gets it. Music is part of him. So what if he is not a classical guitarist...Grandma Birdie was proud to have Daniel play piano for her friends earlier this month. By the way, he took up downhill skiing again this year.

Daniel playing the piano - August 2011

The truth is most children will find their way, their passion.  And when they do, learning becomes fun and they will happily spend hours with their chosen art.

Your thoughts? Are you overbooking your children?

Christmas Holiday Letter Circa 1921

The other day I received a phone call from my first cousin Mary Lou Egan Gilman. She was in Tucson for a quick visit. Mary Lou's father (Patrick) and my father (Joseph) were brothers. We have known each other all of our lives and it is Mary Lou and her older sister Bridgie who have researched a lot of our family's history and they even organized the 2006 1st Cousins' Reunion which took place in Great Falls, Montana. While visiting with Mary Lou she mentioned that she has all of the holiday cards that I sent over the past 30 years. Amazing! After Mary Lou left I got to thinking about our paternal grandmother - Mary Ann Ryan Eagen. I wondered if she ever wrote holiday letters. So today I thought I would share with you what I think she may have written in her 1921 Christmas letter. (I chose 1921, as this is the only group photo we have of all 13 Eagen/Egan children.) I hope you will read on...

Enjoy a larger version of the photo by clicking on it!

December 1921

Happy Holidays,

As you can see by the enclosed photo all the children are still here with us in Denton, MT. This has been a pretty busy year for me with the new baby. I think you know William was born October 13, 1920. Can you believe that Martin and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary this past August 20th and Baby Billy turned one on October 13, 1921? Since Billy was #13 ( I am considering it a lucky number) and I turned 42 this past May...I think Billy may be our last.  I know when Lester Holt, the US Census taker, was here on January 17, 1920, (Joe and Mary's 2nd birthday) I was just barely pregnant with Billy. I think Mr. Holt would have fainted had he realized that come October there was going to be another Eagen to add to the 69 Main Avenue Eagen residence.

Though the war has now been over since late 1918 the economy is still not good, it seems like another depression. I am sure you realize that when the war started the money which had been invested in the railroad business was diverted to the war effort. Actually the last big project that Martin worked on was putting together several segments of the railroad between Arrow Creek and the Hoosac Tunnel. That project was only about 15 miles from Denton. Martin turned 50 this year, amazing he has been building railroads, in fact managing the business, since 1888 and he has seen a lot what with building lines across the Dakotas and then into Montana. Of course when his brother Jim died in 1911, Martin was really on his own here in Montana. He helped bring the railroad to a lot of the state...Great Falls, Augusta, Lewistown. We were thinking that things might get a bit better when Governor Dixon took office in January of this year. Do you know of Governor Dixon? His full name is Joseph Moore Dixon. He had been a US Senator representing Montana, but then he ran for governor. He is only the 7th governor of Montana. We are hopeful that he will be able to enact some of his reform proposals. Perhaps with a new governor and our new President Warren Harding there really will be a "return to normalcy." At any rate, I was excited to vote for the first time last November and appreciated that Mr. Harding was in favor of women's suffrage and all the children marveled at listening to his inauguration speech over the radio this past March!

Enough about the economy and politics. We now have eight boys (John, Pat, Mart, Jim, Dan, Tom, Joe and Bill), one shy of a baseball team! The older boys, John and Pat (and even Mart) enjoy following the news about Babe Ruth and his home runs, even though the Yankees lost the World Series. Maybe they will do better when the Yankees open their new stadium in the Bronx. Someone told the boys that the Yankees purchased 20 acres in the Bronx for their new stadium. They are also fascinated by all the talk of air travel and learning about the 1st US transcontinental air mail flight this past February. Most of our mail comes in by rail, it is hard to imagine the mail being flown across the country.

I haven't mentioned the girls yet. Margaret, our oldest, turned 19 this year. She has been such a big help to me with the baby and of course, the twins...Joe and Mary. Ann (17) and Ellen (14) enjoy spending time with Margaret. Imagine having three teen-age daughters in the house. Little Vera (6) and Mary (3) are in awe of their older sisters.  

John (18), our oldest son, is working as a farm hand. That is why in this photo he is standing behind Pat. When he came home from work we were trying to organize the kids for this photo and he didn't have time to change out of his overalls, so he picked up the baby and ducked behind Pat!

I realize I should stop here and get this letter ready to mail. Also, it is almost time to start dinner. We will have a quiet Christmas holiday.  We continue to offer prayers for the wounded war veterans and hope that the New Year will bring good news on the economic front.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year,

Love,
Martin, Mary Ann (Mame), Margaret, John, Ann, Pat, Ellen, Mart, James, Daniel, Vera, Tom, Joe, Mary and Bill


P.S. I hope you like the photo. I also managed to get a copy of the 1920 Census Report(see below)...look at all of our names on there. You can click on either image and they will get larger. 

1920 US Census Denton, MT

 

Tough Times Test the Bonds Between a Town and Its Railroad