Jacob Meisler September 22, 1891 - March 23, 1989

L-R Max Meisler, Jacob Meisler w/ two friends

120 years ago today, September 22, 1891, Jacob Meisler was born. Jacob Meisler is my husband's maternal grandfather and our sons' great grandfather. In celebration of Jacob Meisler's (Papa, Grandpa, Jake, Poppy, Uncle Jack) birth I am going to fulfill a request made to me in 1993.

The Backstory...

On June 8, 1993, Bertha Meisler Helfand (my mother-in-law) sent me the following request:

"I've been lax about having this "poem" printed like the one's you had made so I'm passing the job on to you.

I know that you're getting busy now - and since I've waited all these year to have it 'permanent-ized' - please take as long as necessary to have it done. You can make up 4 copies - keep one for yourselves & send me the bill."

Here is the poem Bertha (Birdie, Bertie, Mom, Grandma from the Bronx, Aunt Bert) is referring to; she wrote it for her father in honor of his 90th birthday, September 22, 1981.

A TOAST TO PAPA 

Congratulations & best wishes in your 90th year,
We're here to toast you loud and clear.
You're a man of integrity, dignity and pride,
You're refined and charming when we look inside.
With your taste in clothes you should be in "Who's Who,"
Bill Blass and Givenchy could learn from you.
You're King of the Cha Cha in Miami Beach,
Arthur Murray & Fred Astaire you could surely teach.
Your jokes are funny and make us roar,
Even tho we have heard them before.
So - enjoy your birthday - have health aplenty,
We want to celebrate with you until you are
120!

So, I needed 18 years...

I always listen to my mother-in law.  She said: "Please take as long as necessary to have it done." So, I took a little more than 18 years to print this poem and "permanent-ize" for all the family to enjoy. This week I decided that I would try to share a little bit about Jacob Meisler's life.  First, I will share what I know to be facts, then a bit of what might be urban legend, and close with some photos and documents for all to enjoy.

Just the facts...

1. Jacob (Jakob) was born September 22, 1891
2. His parents were Perle(Pescha) Bochner (nee) and Aaron (Euron) Meisler
3. Jacob was born in Delatyn - Delatyn is a village in the foothills of the Carpathian mountains. It lies along the Pruth River within Eastern Galicia. Before World War I it was part of the Austro-Hungarian Empire; between the World Wars, Poland, after World War II, the U.S.S.R, and today, Ukraine. Delatyn was home to a vibrant Jewish community until the Fall of 1941.
4. Jacob had seven (7) siblings: Chaim Laib, Zigmund (Zelig or Sigmund), Chai Ester, Max (Mendel), Lena, Yette, and Alte. 
5. Aaron, Jacob's father, was a tailor. 
6. Aaron died in 1914, just before the family was forced to leave Delatyn.
7. Jacob immigrated to the United States in 1909.
8. Jacob set sail from Rotterdam, Holland, on July 31, 1909. He sailed on the S.S. Ryndam. He was listed on the manifest as Jankel Meisler, Austrian, Hebrew, from Belatyn, Austria, 18 years old, single. His next of kin was listed as Aron Meisler. His occupation was listed as tailor. He was held for "special inspection" because he "squints".  He had 25 dollars and he told the inspectors he was going to live with Isaac Strum at 150 12th Street, New York, NY.(Isaac was married to Lena Meisler - Jacob's sister). He arrived at Ellis Island on August 10, 1909.
9. Jacob's mother, Pesche/Pescha/Pesie, died in New York City November 9, 1937. According to her headstone, she was 80 years old. So that means she was born around 1857.
10. Jacob married Rose Drucker (nee)
11. Jacob and Rose had three children: Bertha (10/28/1912), Estelle (03/17/1914- 02/03/2006) and Sidney (05/22/1916 - 08/16/1995)
12. On June 5, 1917, Jacob registered for the United States draft. According to his registration he was living at 734 E 9th Street, New York, NY. He was employed as an operator for Singer which was located at 6-8 E 27th St. He is married with three children. He is described as short and stout. He claimed exemption from the draft because of his stomach and right eye. In answer to the question, "has person lost arm, leg, hand, foot, eye or both eyes or is he otherwise disabled (specify)?" he answered "right eye."
13. On June 18, 1920, Jacob Meisler became a Naturalized Citizen of the United States. He was 28 years old, 5 foot 5 inches tall, living at 341 Crimmins Avenue, Bronx, New York, with his wife Rose and three children. 
14. According to the 1930 Census, taken on April 22, 1930, Jacob and Rose Meisler lived at 823 East 147th Street, Bronx, NY. They lived there with Bertha, Estelle and Sidney. Their monthly rent was $60. Jacob's occupation is listed as a tailor and Bertha's occupation is listed as a bookkeeper. The census indicates that they had a radio set!
15. In 1933 Jacob Meisler owned a car; this is according to a photo provided by Bertha.
16. On March 5, 1938, Bertha Meisler married Julius Helfand, D.D.S.
17. In 1942, Jacob Meisler again registered for the US draft. His registration reports his address as 111 West 167th Street, Bronx, NY. His employer is listed as Casual Sportswear 224 West 35th Street, New York, NY. 
18. Jacob and Rose Meisler enjoyed eight grandchildren: Dennis Helfand, Harvey Helfand, Vivian Helfand, Stephen Goldberg, Beverly Goldberg, Phyllis Meisler, Myrna Meisler, and Sheri (Sherry Jane)Meisler.
19. Jacob and Rose's grandchildren are now parents and grandparents, as well.  
20. In 1947 the following Meislers served as "officers" of the Meisler Family Circle: Jacob Meisler (President), Sigmund Meisler (Vice-President), Max Meisler (Vice-President), C. Esther Holtz, and Lena Strum. 
21. Jacob and Rose Meisler bought a two family home at 1559 Pelham Parkway North, Bronx, NY
22. Jacob and Rose resided on the first level of the home at 1559 Pelham Parkway N, and Estelle (Stella) Meisler Goldberg and Benjamin Goldberg resided in the top level home with their children Stephen and Beverly. 
23. Jacob and Rose loved to dance. 
24. After Rose's passing, Jacob often would spend the winter months in Miami Beach, FL. 
25. On September 22, 1978, Jacob celebrated his 87th birthday at the home of his grand-nephew Robert Stuckleman (grandson of Zigmund (Sigmund or Zelig) Meisler).
26. On September 23, 1978, Jacob Meisler danced at our wedding which took place at Robert and Tina Stuckelman's home. In attendance were: Mildred Meisler Stuckelman, Bertha Meisler Helfand, Estelle Meisler Goldberg, Benjamin Goldberg, Sidney Meisler, Rosalie Meisler (nee Steiner), Vivian Rubin (nee Helfand), Marc Rubin, Stephen Goldberg, Mark Stuckelman, Nona Stuckelman, Joseph Stuckelman and Sylvia Drucker.
27. Jacob spent the summer of 1981 and 1982 with us in West Covina, CA.  He watched Aaron learn to swim and met Johnny Carson (got his autograph) on a return flight to New York City!
28. December 1982, Dennis and I visited Poppy in Miami Beach, FL. During this trip we met Jack and Rose Holtz. Jack was the son of Jacob's sister, Chai Ester (married to Israel Holz).
29. From 1985-1989, we visited Poppy where he lived at the Ambassador Manor, Long Beach, NY.
30. On March 23, 1989, Jacob Meisler passed away, just shy of his 98th birthday.
31. Both Jacob and Rose Meisler (nee Drucker) are at rest at Beth El Cemetery in Paramus, NJ.

 Some urban legends (items I have not been able to prove)...

1. I was told a few times that Jacob's father, Aaron, designed military uniforms for Franz Joseph I of Austro-Hungarian Empire. 
2. I have been told that Poppy is known in New York City fashion industry as the designer of the woman's Eisenhower jacket.

Photos and documents...

Over the years I have managed to gather copies or original photos and documents. I know that so many of you must have great photos of your own family that include part of the Jacob Meisler history. I hope that this little project will inspire you to send me the digital copies and I will add them to this post.  One more thing, you should know that of Jacob's seven (7) siblings, two died young and before marrying. According to Bertha (Birdie), Chaim Laib died at two years of age and Yette died in Delatyn at the age of 22 of tuberculosis. 

It has been my honor to have met descendants of Jacob Meisler, Chai Esther Meisler, Zelig (Zigmund/Sigmund) Meisler and Mendel (Max) Meisler.

Finally, a quote from Carl Sandburg...

"A camera testament, a drama of the grand canyon of humanity, an epic woven of fun, mystery and holiness - here is the Family of Man!"

Enjoy the journey (click on any photo to enlarge) and please add your own memories in the comments!

Jacob Meisler's passport verifies year of birth 1891 and immigration year 1909

Jacob Meisler's United States Draft Registration 1917

Jacob Meisler's Certificate of Naturalization June 18, 1920

Jacob Meisler's Family Listed in the US 1930 Census

Standing L-R: Estelle Meisler, Jacob Meisler, Rose Meisler and seated L-R Bertha Meisler & Sidney Meisler - Year unknown

Selig Meisler, Sol Strum, Jennie Singer Meisler, Bertha Meisler, Rose Meisler, Estelle Meisler, Ben Triebwasser and Jacob Meisler 1933

Selig Meisler, Jennie Singer Meisler, Rose Drucker Meisler and Estelle Meisler 1933

Meisler Family Gathering Includes Julius Helfand, Bertha Helfand, Benjamin Goldberg, Estelle Goldberg, Rose Meisler and Jacob Meisler (front right) - year unknown

Jacob Meisler's 1942 US Draft Registration

January 16, 1955- Dennis Helfand's Bar Mitzvah. L-R standing Harvey Helfand, Benjamin Goldberg, Jacob Meisler, Julius Helfand, Dennis Helfand, Sidney Meisler, Phyllis Meisler,. L - R sitting Estelle Goldberg, Rose Meisler, Bertha Helfand, Rosalie Meisler, Myrna Meisler. L-R Floor sitting Stephen Goldberg and Vivian Helfand

September 23, 1978: L-R Back Row Robert Stuckelman, Tina Stuckelman, Sidney Meisler, Dennis Helfand, Stephen Goldberg, Benjamin Goldberg, Vivian Rubin, Sylvia Drucker, Marc Rubin; L-R Front Row Nona Stuckelman, Rosalie Meisler, Mildred Meisler Stuckelman, Joseph Stuckelman, Bertha Helfand, Estelle Goldberg, Jacob Meisler, and Mark Stuckelman.  The Stuckelmans are Zelig Meisler's descendants.

L- R Bertha Meisler Helfand, Jacob Meisler, Judith Eagen Helfand, Dennis Helfand September 23, 1978.

Dennis Helfand, Aaron Helfand and Jacob Meisler- Summer 1981 California

 This is a letter written by Jack Meisler to Dennis and Judy. He wrote this to send me Birdie's poem for his 90th Birthday Party. Notice he says to give regards to the Stuckelman Family.

Jacob Meisler, Aaron Helfand and Dennis Helfand - Three generations Summer 1982 California

Summer 1982 L-R standing Jacob Meisler and George Meisler, L-R seated Belle Fertel Meisler, Judy Helfand, Aaron Helfand and Mildred Meisler Stuckelman. George and Mildred's father was Zelig Meisler, brother of Jacob.

Bertha Helfand, Dennis Helfand, Jacob Meisler, Daniel Helfand and Aaron Helfand. Four Generations September 1985.

Summer 1987 New Hampshire - L-R Back Row: Dennis Helfand, Judy Helfand, Richard Meisler, Joshua Meisler, Daniel Meisler. L-R Front Row: Aaron Helfand, Daniel Helfand, Miriam Meisler. Richard and his sons Joshua and Daniel are the grandson and great-grandsons of Mendel (Max) Meisler. (Max is in the photo at the top of this article).

Aaron and Daniel Helfand, Jacob Meisler's great-grandsons - March 1989.

Some of Jacob Meisler and Zelig Meisler's grandchildren and great-grandchildren: Beverly Goldberg standing in background. L-R Seated: Mark Stuckelman, Phyllis Levine, Myrna Korman, Renee Ponder, Nona Stuckelman and Robert Stuckelman.  Tucson, AZ October 8, 2010.

L-R: Jared Rubin, Douglas Rubin (Jacob's great grandsons), Jen Bender Rubin, Vivian Rubin(Jacob's grand-daughter) and Marc Rubin. August 7, 2011.

Bertha Meisler Helfand visiting with her great granddaughter, Meredith Yates. August 8, 2011.

September 2015 Dennis Eugene Helfand visited his Great Grandmother Pesie Meisler's grave. Jacob's mother died November 9, 1937, and she is buried in Baron Hersch Cemetery on Staten Island, NY.

How I Remember Mom

Mom and Joann, circa 1944

My mom, Marie Julia Lynch Eagen, passed away 17 years ago June 17, 2006.* But today I thought I would share with you how I remember Mom. Below is the eulogy I wrote for my mother's funeral on June 23, 2006.

"It is not easy to capture the essence of our mother. She came into this world with her twin sister on March 23, 1918. Born to Irish immigrants Humphrey and Margaret McCarthy Lynch in Butte, Montana, they were named Julia Marie and Josephine Agnes Lynch. They were, we are told, born at home and premature, so small that they were each placed gently in a shoe box and set near the oven to keep warm. They were not expected to survive. But today we gather to honor her 88 years as a woman, a faithful sister, a loving wife, a nurturing mother, a caring grandmother and great-grandmother, a kind aunt, a good citizen, and to all of us a loyal friend.

If I had to use one word to describe our mother it would be "principled". She selected certain principles to live by and believed strongly in passing those principles to each of us. If you knew her for just a short time or for most of her adult life, you know the principles that I am referring to...faith, education, discipline, music, work ethic, and dedication to husband, family, friends, community, volunteerism, and her church. From the time she was very young she was legally blind in one eye. She wore glasses at a very young age and suffered from scarlet fever. When she was 18 she moved to Great Falls, MT and enrolled in nursing college. She was determined to be educated and self-sufficient. In 1939 she graduated as a registered nurse and proudly practiced and kept her license in force until past the age of 80.

She married daddy in 1942, they were 24 and she was the consummate naval officer's wife, never complaining, living in less than perfect conditions during the remainder of World War II and caring for three small daughters alone throughout the Korean War, making a home in National City. Around 1952 daddy was transferred to Fort Campbell, KY, and we all traveled by train to live on an Army base. Sadly, daddy's military career ended when he suffered a series of heart attacks and was forced to retire. In 1953 we returned to National City, back to our little two bedroom home on east 17th street. Daddy retired and mom returned to full time nursing, supporting a family of five. In 1955, at the age of 37 she became pregnant with Michael and we all giggled with joy. Daddy bought a Gulf Service Station and we moved to new neighborhood to await the birth of Michael. On a rainy December 8, 1960, we moved to our last family home on "N" Avenue. The move had to be stopped so that daddy could make sure we all went to mass for the Feast of the Immaculate Conception, a holy day of obligation, and our mother would not accept us not being in attendance. It was the principle! For 42 years that was our home.

I have never understood how she and daddy afforded to educate all of us in parochial schools, each with eight years at St. Mary's, their three daughters at Cathedral Girl's High School and Michael at St. Augustine's, but they did and we learned the value of a good education and with their help we all went to college. To complement this education she insisted, sometimes against daddy's resistance, that we all learn to play a musical instrument and be able to perform in public. For hours upon hours the girls would take turns at the piano and when Michael was old enough, he learned to play the trumpet. I believe it was more about the experience and the desire that we be well rounded that drove this principle or could it have been those recitals every year that would result from the early hours of diligent practice?

She taught us to sew our own clothes, she taught us the importance of buying good shoes, she taxied us to the orthodontist for more than twelve years to insure that we each had perfect "occlusion" and to guarantee those Irish smiles. At her insistence we all learned to type and homework was an evening ritual that she made sure we completed on our own. If we didn't know how to spell a word, she would very simply say, "Look it up!" and hand us the dictionary. Maybe this is why we all play scrabble and dabble at crossword puzzles.

Over the years, she celebrated our accomplishments, she danced at our weddings, cradled our babies, and found a way to regularly visit each of us, no matter how far away our careers or marriages took us. She proved to be the best mother-in-law one could ask for, always supportive but never intruding or offering advice(or almost never), perhaps truly living her principle "if you don't have something good to say, don't say anything at all!"

Daddy died March 27, 1979. Mom was alone, but she found interesting ways to fill her life. She continued her membership in the EAGLES' Women's Auxiliary, became active as a RED CROSS volunteer, worked a part time job as a school nurse, served as a precinct worker for San Diego County, dedicated herself to her friends, always willing to offer an hand to one in need of her services, and remained involved with the St. Mary's Parish.

Today, we are here in St. Mary's where two of her children were baptized, all celebrated their first communion, all were confirmed, three were married and daddy's funeral mass was celebrated. Mom came into this parish as a young married woman with two small children and for more than 50 years she came back to this chapel at least once a week and practiced her principle of faith. She leaves us today, with her extended family now numbering 28.

We will not say good-bye today, but simply good-night to Marie, mommy, mom, mother, grandma, ommy, auntie, and friend. Forever a part of each of us, we will remember her winning smile, her blue eyes, and her innate ability to size up a situation and stand on her principles. She will join our daddy, her brothers, and her parents. Today, June 23rd, is the 89th anniversary of her parents' wedding. She will be home in time to celebrate with them and to once again be held in the loving arms of her Joe."

The photo above is of my mother and my oldest sister, Joann. It was taken in Butte, MT, in 1944, the year my mom became a Mom. 72 years ago!!

*This post was originally written and published on May 9, 2009. It was updated on August 28,2023.

Indian and Pakistani Weddings

Growing up in the states you see that every little girl dreams of her wedding of how it will be and all the details in her head as she grows up. In India or Pakistan, traditionally, the parents would plan their children's weddings and back in the days arranged marriages were more common. Today, majority of the weddings are love marriages where the bride and groom find each other (the normal way).

A wedding from my culture is a bit more of a headache that will push you to go for a drive-thru wedding in Vegas. Our weddings last for several days. After reading Dick's post on the cost break-down of his and Fran's wedding, I almost felt like crying realizing the difference in his wedding and my traditional wedding. Let me give you the breakdown of what how I have come to see a semi-traditional wedding in my culture.

Mehndi (Henna Tattoo)

Day 1 - Mehndi. The Mehndi (known as Henna) is a temporary tattoo that the bride, family, and friends put on their hands and some on their feet on special occasions (particularly at weddings). I personally hate the smell of it, some people actually like it.

Day 2 - Pithi. The Pithi ceremony is the day before the wedding. It involves rubbing a paste made of chickpea flour, turmeric, or rose water on the bride and groom. This is great for the skin and evens out the skin tone the day before the wedding. The family takes turns in putting some of it on and over the years this tradition has evolved to friends coming together towards the end and egging the groom and messing him up with all sorts of different grocery items such as eggs, flour, syrup, ketchup, mustard, etc... Sad to say only the groom goes through this un-eventful process =/. After all this mess is done, we dance away and in some weddings play Dandiya which is done so with two sticks hitting each other (sounds ridiculous but is quite fun).

Day 3a - Nikah (Nikkah). The Nikah ceremony is simply a contract between the bride and groom in the Muslim religion. I find it to be equivalent to the marriage license from a judge or justice of peace. This ceremony is only for those within the religion and close family and takes place before the reception itself.

Me and Zaheen at the night of our Engagement

Day 3b - Reception. This is similar to how white weddings (traditional western wedding) are celebrated with dinner and dance party. We have the cake cutting ceremony followed by the first dance and a traditional father daughter dance (taken from the American culture) leading to a night to remember (so they say).

Day 4 - Satada (Rukhsati) - Just when you thought it was over there is one final day. This day is for close family only where the bride is acknowledged to have left her family to go in to the groom's side of the family. This day has a lot of crying as the parents of the bride realize her daughter is going away. It's also viewed as the first lunch/dinner with the two families together and the bride and groom have consummated their marriage.

One day I left out which is the court ceremony. We have decided to do our court ceremony on the same week as our reception so that Zaheen (my fiance) could wear a close to traditional white dress at the court room.

So this sums up my interpretation for a five day wedding. I'll be going through this process this April and will write about my experience afterwards.

What are some traditions you follow for weddings?